Broken Cycles
by Fyrshi
Summary: Life was normal for crazy Ikebukurans Shizuo and Izaya... until a strange dilemma throws their universe out of whack and normality becomes a far-fetched notion. [Slight AU; Rated M for language/violence/romance; Pairing- Shizaya]
1. Flying Monsters

**_A/N: _**_I apologize in advance for the highly cheesy plot idea, the non-American spelling and the slow submission rate (chapter submissions will be anything from daily to fortnightly, depending on circumstances). Reviews are highly appreciated, but are not necessary for the continuation of this story.  
_**DISCLAIMER: Sorry for not putting this up earlier, but I should mention that I do not own Durarara! or any of its characters...**_  
_

* * *

**Chapter One: Flying Monsters**

At first glance, Ikebukuro seemed to be a city as tranquil as anything in Tokyo could get, but there was much more to the eye than the falsely calm nature that it was currently in. For the bright lights and busy city life hid the coloured gangs, underground business and crazy individuals that teemed in the deceptively serene area. However, everyone could agree that there were two crazy individuals that truly turned the city on its head, and instantly switched the calm façade for its true chaos.

One of these individuals was currently skipping merrily past Sunshine 60, located on one of the major streets in Ikebukuro. With his petite figure and fur-trimmed jacket, one could be forgiven for thinking that the man, Orihara Izaya, was merely a young adult enjoying life to the fullest. Most Ikebukurans, though, knew better than to associate themselves with the feared underground informant- one look at his demonically twisted face and into his crimson eyes, and all notions of his supposed innocence were immediately dispelled.

On normal occasions, it would usually be hard to find Izaya in such a public place in the middle of the day; being a human-loving individual meant that, around this time, he would normally be gathering information on whatever topic was interesting him at the moment, or he would be observing his beloved humans from the shadows. Of course, there was a reason as to why he was twirling his arms around as he skipped up and down the street, but for the time being, he was there and that was all.

"Oh, how I love the wonderful life of humans~!"

It was as if a meteor had fallen in the midst of the busy Ikebukurans when they all shied away from the person exclaiming this strange comment, and the delighted giggle that the raven-haired informant gave only served to highlight the manic joy he gained from viewing the reactions of his cherished species. Even though his humans were never really going to love him back, let alone love him as much as he did them, Izaya knew that there was always one human- or technically, monster- that he could count on to shower 'affection' on him.

Just as his thoughts began to wander off in the direction of his thick-headed monster, a familiar whistling sound made itself known to his ears. Grinning broadly as he spun around expectantly, he laughed in perverse delight as everyone nearby scrambled for cover, dreading the all-too-familiar events that were going to occur. If there was something that everyone could count on to occur daily in the city, it was the constant fighting between the two most dangerous individuals that roamed Ikebukuro. And, as always, the fight began with something being thrown in Izaya's general direction.

However, as Izaya turned around and managed to identify the object sailing in the air towards him, he nearly lost balance from the shock he felt in his system. Normally, when he had an object thrown at him, it was a vending machine, or just some sort of heavy object that only one person in the world could ever pick up and heave at him. Normally, he would be running away now, as a certain fake blonde roared insults at him and chased him around town. Normally, that would be the everyday occurrence, but this did not seem to be a normal day. Because normally, the object that was flying at him wouldn't be the aforementioned fake blonde murderously screaming:

"IIIIIIIIIIZAYA-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

So as the bartender suit that the flying monster was wearing began to show signs of tearing from its extraordinary flight through the air, the coat-clad informant began to wonder exactly how the other had ended up in this situation. After all, it wasn't common to see the short-tempered man streaming helplessly through the air, and Izaya really wanted to thank the person that had done such a thing to the protozoan on his behalf…

* * *

_About 5 minutes earlier, outside Russia Sushi:_

"Why the fuck do all these things NEVER GO MY DAMN WAY?!"

The few people dining in the Ikebukuran sushi store flinched as something rather large sailed past the eatery's window. Averting their eyes hastily as the piercing glare of a smoking male swept through the mostly-empty store, they hurried on with their food as the owner of the store, a tall Russian by the name of Simon, plastered a smile on his face before ushering the angry smoker from his premises. With a backward glance at his store, the Russian uttered in broken Japanese:

"Shi-zu-o, no fighting, fighting bad. Eat sushi, sushi good!"

"Che, whatever you say. I'll go somewhere else then…"

And without waiting for a reply from the dark-skinned man firmly planted opposite him, the smoker smoothed back a few errant blonde strands from his eyes, before adjusting his sunglasses and striding past the man. Snarling quietly to himself as he realized that his cigarette had burnt down to the filter, Shizuo flicked the stub into a deserted alley before re-adjusting the skewed bowtie on his customary bartender suit. Of course, while he was doing so, he didn't look at where he was going.

One moment, he had been on the footpath and the next, he had somehow wandered into the middle of the road. As cars horned in alarm and the hulking man swore under his breath, a large truck careened down the road, and without much warning, ploughed straight into the busy debt collector. While the truck instantly stopped in its tracks and its puzzled driver climbed out of his seat to check what the problem was with his slightly dented hood, the bespectacled man who'd been hit by it was not as lucky as the truck driver.

Obeying the laws of physics as any normal person would, Shizuo found himself sailing helplessly through the air. Cursing loudly to himself as he watched his favourite pair of sunglasses slip off his face and smash on the pavement below, he began yelling angrily at his predicament, only to have his words blown away.

Just as he was getting a tad furious about his current situation, he found himself tilting back to earth and heading straight for an all-too-familiar enemy of his, a certain raven-haired informant with a lazy smirk and an evil glint on his flea-like face.

Instantly, all his anger increased exponentially at seeing his hated enemy's face. Although any rational person would run away from the devious crimson-eyed devil, the debt collector was always drawn to chasing after the man in his attempts to crush the miserable life within.

One look at Izaya's face was all the proof needed to convince the flying man that the one responsible for his journey through the air was him. With a rage-filled scream, he roared:

"IIIIIIIIIIZAYA-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

And promptly smashed into the unmoving ravenette.


	2. A Change In-

**Chapter Two: A Change In…**

The first thing that struck him was the throbbing inside of his head.

Ordinarily, being the physically-active guy that he was, Shizuo would be sporting external injuries that involved some sort of bleeding or bruising, but for some odd reason, his pain was coming from the inside. Attempting to lift up a hand to brush a few strands of hair from his face and check out his head, the debt collector groaned when he felt it move an inch, and then pause momentarily, before thudding back into the bed. However, just as he'd finished his groan, his brows furrowed in confusion as two things made themselves known to his hazy mind.

For one, he had oodles and oodles of tubes attached to him, which probably meant he was in hospital, or at his underground doctor friend's shady apartment.

And for another, the hair in his face was not the vibrant shade of blonde that his brother, Kasuka, had bleached it, but a disconcerting shade of pitch black.

Ignoring the IV fluids dripping into him for the time being, in favour of examining that black strands of hair in his line of sight, the former bartender frowned grumpily at the offending body part, before angling his breath up to blow at it. Futilely wasting his time blowing at the stubborn strands, he soon gave up in favour of lifting his other arm to brush it off- which, luckily enough, wasn't stuffed with some IV tube or a needle. As he brushed his hair back, though, what next struck him was the unfamiliarity of the appendage that his mind convinced him was his left arm.

Since when did his left arm appear so skinny and pale anyhow? And why, exactly, did it remind him of a certain informant's disgustingly-scrawny appendage?!

Growling angrily and ignoring the strangely high-pitched noise that emitted from his throat, Shizuo sat up abruptly and winced as the tubes littering his right arm snapped out of him, before refusing the urge to throw up from his sudden movement. When he had finally convinced his gorge to go down again, he shifted his gaze around the room as he tried to figure out where he was.

And stopped in shock when he saw a rather familiar body lying right next to his.

Taking a few minutes to compose himself, the confused male finally broke out of his paralysis and growled in an annoyingly whiny voice:

"How the fuck did I get out of my body?!"

* * *

Izaya had been sleeping peacefully, and despite the faint throbbing that he could feel all over his physical form, his mental form was as perfect as it ever was. He had already dismissed the notion of seeing a flying monster a few minutes ago, and was in the middle of unhurriedly rousing himself from his sleep. However, a rather familiar voice encroached on his mind and, with a slightly annoyed sigh, the informant yawned and sat up in the bed he was in.

The first thing he noticed was slight pricks in his arms, and as he turned languidly to see what had made his arms feel so weird, he began to feel a slight sense of unease, almost as if he was being watched. Pushing the feeling to one side, he glanced down at his arms and nearly let his mouth fall down in shock. Not only had he pulled needles out of his arms as if they were tiny straws… but said appendages had somehow become more tanned and toned in appearance.

Just before a highly disturbing thought could formulate in his mind, an alarmingly familiar voice broke through his thoughts, which seemed more sluggish than usual. Twisting his body slowly as he turned to face the owner of the voice, he was immediately rendered speechless by the sight of his body before him. Although he was able to break his paralysis in mere seconds, his mind refused to comprehend the sight before him.

Unless he was looking into some twisted mirror, there was no way that he could be looking at an independently moving image of himself. Of course he couldn't; it was physically impossible for him to even exist out of it. What struck him, though, was the notion that if his body was moving independently, and that there was only supposedly one body of Orihara Izaya that existed in the world, then he wasn't in his own body.

Deciding to ignore the strange sight of his body emitting uncouth swear words at a disconcertingly fast pace, the information broker reached for a glass of water that, conveniently enough, was situated right next to his bed. Noting the stark whiteness of everything inside, and shuddering at the thought that he was in some sort of medical clinic, Izaya determinedly brought the glass towards himself and glanced downwards, before muttering moments later:

"…I must be dreaming, ne…"

There was no comprehensible reason for his body suddenly being that of Shizu-chan's, and for Shizu-chan to be controlling (as he'd inferred a few seconds after he'd mumbled to himself) his own body. There was no explanation for his voice suddenly becoming a baritone like Shizu-chan's, and for Shizu-chan to be firing his mouth off in Izaya's own voice. Actually, there was just no way that this was happening. He must be delusional, or dreaming, and since he clearly wasn't delusional to the point of this sort of pretence, then he was stuck in one of his highly twisted dreams.

It must been a dream. It couldn't be real…

…Right?

* * *

To the random observer, it seemed that Izaya was uncharacteristically swearing his mouth off, and that Shizuo was uncharacteristically stuck in deep thought. To the bespectacled underground doctor that had just entered the room, however, it was clear that the two most dangerous men to have ever existed in Ikebukuro were suffering from a strange disease. He had not wanted to believe his eyes when he had charted the neurotic movements of the two previously-unconscious bodies, but his diagnosis had somehow been confirmed.

As far as he could tell, when his beloved Dullahan lover had called him to the scene, there was a random crater right next to Sunshine 60. Upon closer inspection on the eerily-empty street, though, he had found the crumpled forms of his and his lover's best friends, Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo, lying on top of each other. Leaving his bursting questions for later, Shinra had helped his dear Celty load the two men onto her horse/motorcycle Shooter, and before any authorities had arrived, the two had already left with the perpetrators of the defaced road in tow.

He had arrived back at his apartment and hurried the two unconscious men to one of his specially-fitted rooms, which had been converted especially for medical emergencies like this. Furrowing his brows in concern as he hooked up both men to various machines and tracked their physical and mental functions, it was at that time that he had first become aware of the odd condition he had never seen, but had only heard of. It didn't take too long for him to diagnose the two men with their highly-rare condition, and it didn't take too long after that for him to research what he could about it, and write down a very short list of cures available.

He had just finished writing it down when he'd heard high-pitched growling and swearing from the room, and so here he was, standing at the door, as the two dangerous men focused their attention onto his nervous figure. Coughing uneasily into the elbow of his left sleeve, and fixing a forced smile on his face, he shakily pushed his glasses up his nose as he half-cheerily asked the glaring individuals:

"Well, it seems as if we're all awake now, so I guess now's a good time to tell you what's wrong~?"

"Che, get ON with it, Shinra. I want to know EXACTLY why I'm the flea-"

"Awh, that's so harsh Shizu-chan~ But I guess your filthy monster body's no better~"

"IIIIIIIIIIIZAYA-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

As a short scuffle commenced, with Izaya's pitifully-thin body being pressed back down into his bed by Shizuo's large arms a few seconds after the former's reedy outburst, Shinra sighed before attempting to calm the situation:

"Now, now, stop fighting, you two! J-Just let me tell you what's wrong-"

"Then hurry the fuck up and TELL US THEN!"

"Ne, Shinra, so what's up~?"

Taking a few seconds to compose himself mentally, as well as let the two enemies calm themselves down as well, the underground doctor took in a shaky breath before expelling it out again. Glancing from crimson eyes, to chocolate eyes, and back again, he eventually dropped his eyes to the ground as he mumbled:

"Y-You've both switched bodies somehow…"


	3. Decisions, Decisions

**Chapter Three: Decisions, Decisions**

The instances that Izaya's snarky voice was cut short were few and far between. The instances that Izaya's snarky thoughts refused to work were pretty much none, but that had been before this crazy incident had fallen upon him. For once in his life, nothing cynical or sarcastic was going through his mind; actually, if truth be told, nothing at all was going through his mind. Later on, of course, the prideful informant would deny that his facial expressions perfectly suited the brutish body that he currently inhabited, but he would later be able to diagnose his perfect lack of thought as surprise, and then wonder why a god-like figure like himself could ever experience such a strange emotion.

However, for the time being, as Shinra's disturbing words echoed inside his head, all Orihara Izaya could do was stare, and stare some more. His uncomprehensive stupor was only discarded when he noticed Shizuo- he would call him 'my body', but that would be weird- beginning to get a certain murderous look on his face. For most people that didn't know the fortissimo of Ikebukuro, they would've passed off his look as that of deep calm, but the crazy counterpart of the monster knew better than most people. That look normally preceded a physical fit of anger. And as much as he wanted his body maimed beyond belief, the informant really, really wanted to keep his body as intact as possible.

Lunging out of his makeshift hospital bed and ignoring the prickling feeling over his body as numerous medical instruments detached themselves from his- well, for the time being anyway- body, his chocolate-coloured eyes glinted in chilling determination, an emotion that usually only showed itself in crimson orbs of insanity. Reaching for the rapidly-moving figure of Shizuo- well, him, really, but this was just getting more confusing by the second- and clasping the slender body to his own, he winced slightly at the feel of his former and horribly-skinny torso.

As he clutched the pathetically flailing figure to his currently toned torso, the psychopathic man suddenly realized why the brute always seemed to hold back his strength while grabbing any part of his exposed form; because, really, if he had gone ahead and used the strength at his disposal, his body would probably snap into twigs. That thought both horrified and confused him; it horrified him because he now realized exactly how badly he was at the mercy of the elder Heiwajima when he was in his clutches, and it confused him because he wondered exactly why he wasn't dead from the times he'd willingly let himself be caught by the single-celled protozoan.

Sighing resignedly at the stifled giggles coming from the underground doctor at the doorway and the rather annoying buffeting of his former body, Izaya shook his head as he simultaneously admired his strangely-soft blonde tresses and personified his disapproval of the situation. Closing two massive fists around the flapping hands at his chest, cold chocolate eyes pierced into furious crimson ones as he growled in that odd baritone of the monster's:

"Shizu-chan, will you snap out of your tantrum like a good boy~?"

And rolled his eyes in annoyance as the devolved amoeba paused for an instant before replying in an excessively pouty and whiny voice (that clearly wasn't how he normally sounded like):

"FLEA, GET MY- OR YOURS- OR WHATEVER, JUST GET THOSE HANDS OFF ME ALREADY!"

* * *

Shizuo was very pissed off.

Actually, make that _extremely_ pissed off.

Not really having understood what had come out of his friend's mouth, and not really wanting to understand what the words were or meant, let alone what they signified, the short-tempered man got even more short-tempered at the dumbstruck expression on his body. He steadfastly refused to believe that he was stuck in the flea's pitifully puny body, and so for the time being, he referred to his body as his body. This thought was a little weird- not that he cared, of course.

Growling under his breath and internally wincing at the strangled noise that came out of the tenor's mouth, Shizuo shook Izaya's- or his- head from side to side in a futile attempt to clear his mind, and failed miserably. The strange look that his- or Izaya's- eyes were giving him weren't really helping with his understanding, and the uncharacteristically silent underground doctor wasn't helping either.

So he did the only thing he could do in confusing situations, and prepared to go on a rampage.

But of course, the stupid flea had to step into his rage, and grip his hands in an iron grip.

Which, now that he thought about it, was actually quite painful.

Wincing at the contact and scowling at the strange grin settling itself onto his- Izaya's, or whatever- face, Shizuo angrily attempted to free himself from his body's harsh grip, with no result. Growling in that whiny voice again as he was forced to sit back on the bed, with a few IV drips wrapped around those skinny wrists that were now his for the time being, the former bartender fumed silently as he glared daggers at the smirking hulk next to him.

As he narrowed his eyes at the misplaced smirk twisting his former face, the thick-headed man came to a very unpleasant conclusion.

From what he could see, he and the annoying bug weren't going to switch back into their bodies anytime soon.

If that was the case… then…

"Shinra, you know what's happening to us, right? So that means you can cure us, right?! Which means we can go back to our lives and get the hell out of here soon, RIGHT?!"

* * *

Although it was actually quite funny to witness his two high-school friends freaking out over their predicament, the novelty of the situation was beginning to wear off, and the complications were finally surfacing in Shinra's mind. The angry roars of the fortissimo of Ikebukuro were reduced to incessant whining thanks to his current possession of Izaya's body, and the creepy grin of the shifty informant was magnified to a face-twisting smirk thanks to his current possession of Shizuo's body. Were it not for his professional interest in their well-being and condition, the underground doctor would've already left the room and let them fight it out so as to rid himself of his troublesome friends, but his meticulous mind would not let him do that.

Unfortunately for him, he was far too interested in monitoring his current test subjects to let them tear each other to pieces, so it was actually a stroke of luck for him when he witnessed the hulking blonde male before him smugly tie up the smaller whining raven. As he shifted himself from the door-frame and flopped into a chair not too far from where he had once been, the brunette male winced slightly at the reedy complaint from the tied-up male opposite him, before he sighed and shifted the spectacles threatening to slip off his face.

Glancing up at the heavens as he silently pleaded for the fickle Ikebukuran gods to give him enough strength for the ordeal ahead, the young man shuffled around in his pockets until he found what he wanted. Slipping a small notepad out of his pocket, and glancing at the neat scrawls adorning the page, he readjusted his glasses again before he waited for the two's undivided attention.

"This particular ailment that I have diagnosed in the both of you is a highly rare version of advanced dual identity crisis in adulthood; commonly referred to as stunted psychosocial development, it is caused by severe concussions in affected individuals. The parietal and frontal lobe-"

By this time, both Shizuo and Izaya had tuned out the highly-animated scientist, and it took another five minutes of his babble for Shinra to realize that nobody was paying attention to him anymore. Sighing again, before pausing dramatically mid-speech, he was pleased to note the glazed looks in his listeners disappear abruptly, before he continued in a more simplified tone:

"Anyhow, let me explain the cures; actually, there are only three options that the two of you can take, one of which will be glaringly obvious in being the right choice to make-"

"Ne, Shinra, tell us all of them anyway~"

"Fuck, flea, can't you shut your mouth up?! Just cure us already, dammit!"

"Right, so the first option is staying in your current positions and adapting to each other's lives-"

"FUCK NO, I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT FLEA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!"

"As fun as it is being a single-celled protozoan, I think I'll decline that first option, ne~"

"The second option, then, is getting into another life-threatening situation-"

"We are NOT going through that shit again! That hurt enough!"

"Again, even if I am a masochist, I would rather not get hit or hit something. Next please~"

"Well, the third option is a bit weird… I'm not sure if you two could ever go through with it…"

"Whatever it is, it can't be worse than being trapped in this fucking flea's body, so SPILL IT!"

"Um, well, Izaya, Shizuo… you're going to have to love each other so much that your souls can switch freely…"

* * *

_**A/N:** Sorry for that explanation Shinra gave at the end, but sentiments aren't at the forefront of my writing expertise... Anyhow, I'm currently planning a few scenarios for the two patients in the near future, so if you've got any ideas, just send them to me or voice them in a review, because they'd be greatly appreciated~_


	4. Work, Not Play

**Chapter Four: Work, Not Play**

"…You must be joking, ne~?"

Internally cringing at the odd baritone in which his words were delivered in, Izaya narrowed his chocolate-coloured eyes in his characteristic glare as he willed the underground doctor to burst out laughing, and thus tell them it was a joke; unfortunately, the man did no such thing. Unconsciously giving the scariest look that had ever appeared on the blonde's face as he pulled down the corners of his mouth and narrowed his eyes further, the informant was decidedly unpleased with solemn expression in the other's face.

What pleased him the least, though, was the stupidly dumbstruck expression that sat uncomfortably on his previous face. Really, did Shizu-chan have to twist his face and make him look so stoned?

Shaking his blonde tresses slightly and ignoring the strange expression on his former face, Izaya felt his well-used muscles pop aggressively as he lurched to his feet. Making use of the intimidating height that he now possessed, as well as the menacing aura that a person of his standing had, he stalked purposefully to the still form of his messenger of doom, before he filled his massive hands with a fistful of lab coat and easily lifted the other a fair distance off the ground. While the smaller male began to tremble slightly in his hands, the larger of the two unfurled a sinister smirk before whispering in a highly acidic tone:

"Ah, so for once you weren't being your usual joking self. You know, Shin~ra, if you can't get us back to what we used to be, and you offer up some half-arsed 'cure' as some sort of magical solution, then you really don't value your life all that much. Fortunately for you, my dear monster doesn't have the capabilities of rearranging your facial features, but unfortunately for all of us, perhaps, _I _could probably take over his job, ne~"

Relaxing his grip from a crushing hold to a forceful one, a maniacal grin bloomed odiously onto his face as he continued in a softer, but more deadly, tone:

"So if this _really_ is the only cure and, God forbid, the monster and I become an item… then what do we do during this time while we're much happier to loathe than love the other~?"

A strange expression flitted across Shinra's face, but before Izaya could process the emotion that had momentarily shown, he felt a shadowy something pick up his form and throw it across the room to join a still-stunned Shizuo on the other side of the makeshift hospital ward. Hissing angrily and flashing rage-filled chocolate eyes at the seething Dullahan standing at the door, he kept his peace- barely- as the black-clad rider removed her cat-eared helmet to reveal cold coils of smoke wafting from the cavity in her neck. While the headless fairy ran to her housemate and smoothed out his lab coat to check for any signs of injury, a faint wheezy growl sounded next to him, as the raven-haired male finally resurfaced from his self-induced trance.

* * *

To put it mildly, her day had been horrible.

The fact that she had witnessed her best friend threatening her boyfriend was not helping at all.

The fact that her best friend was actually her boyfriend's best friend made it even worse.

So she could probably be forgiven for throwing the blonde rather heavily across the room, since neither her emotions nor her mind were really comprehending the situation, other than the blatant 'My boyfriend was in danger and my best-friend-turned-weirdo was the danger personified'.

Ignoring the whining from Shinra's best friend, and mentally sighing when her mind reminded her that the raven-haired male was currently housing the soul of her best friend, Celty momentarily gave up on any sort of cognitive thought as she helped her boyfriend to his feet. Making sure that he was actually alright, and elbowing him swiftly as he attempted to burst into a lovey-dovey speech, she expressed her disapproval in the languid puffs of smoke rising from her head. While the whine from the raven ceased and the blonde regained his bearing, the Dullahan drew out her PDA before expertly tapping out a series of short messages:

{Izaya, you deserved to be thrown across the room; that was no way to handle the situation}

Ignoring the chocolate-eyed male's wry smirk, she erased her message and tapped again:

{Shizuo, you okay over there? You might want to ready yourself for what I have to type}

Satisfied with the slight smile that the crimson-eyed male gave, she continued:

{While Shinra tries to figure out another way to cure the two of you, other than the three methods he probably has given you by now, I scouted around and found a place for both of you to stay in while this matter is being cleared up}

Wishing that she had a voice to sigh with when she witnessed the hopeful expressions on the two individuals opposite her, she held up a palm in the universal 'wait' gesture before explaining:

{It's not all good news; since we don't have access to your bank accounts and we can't risk the two of you staying in separate places, I had to arrange for a cheap-ish room under both your names-}

The hiss of incredulous anger from the informant and the growl of unhappiness from the debt collector stopped her from going into detail about their arrangements. Before they could turn each other (or her for that matter), she hurriedly typed:

{Shinra needs you together at all times, so that, even if someone sees you, the two of you can tell each other how to act. Yes, we know that you'd rather not be anywhere near each other, but we don't really have a choice. Really, would you want others knowing of what happened?}

Tilting her neck slightly as she gauged the blonde's and the raven's reactions, Celty waited for their grudging acceptance of their situation, before she replaced her helmet and tapped out again:

{Now, we'll try to attract as little attention as possible, so we're going to come up with a plan to get you, Izaya, and you, Shizuo, to the location…}

* * *

Despite the fact that he didn't understand most of the technical crap Shinra had spouted after Celty had outlined her plan, Shizuo understood enough to figure out what was going on. Since he was dead-set against the idea of tripping around in some stupid imitation of the flea, he was going to be delivered to the location by the Dullahan and her disguised horse. And as far as he knew, Izaya had declined the same treatment, instead opting to attract as little attention as possible, and get there himself.

Which led him to the present stage, which involved clutching the headless rider's waist for dear life (even though the illegal scientist had bawled his eyes out when his beloved had insisted on this position, he eventually had to agree with her logic; if he did not hold on, he would probably slip off and suffer a concussion) as they roared through the city. In spite of his general dislike for the night, the ravenette was actually glad for the cover that the moonless Ikebukuran night gave, even if there were still the odd street-light that illuminated them from time to time.

Because, as much as he wanted people to perceive Izaya clutching onto his courier's waist for dear life, he didn't think it would strike people as an easily-forgotten image. After all, it wasn't common for the 'great and mighty Izaya' and his so-called 'aloof' image. Not that he really knew what 'aloof' and nor did he care, to be honest; all he was worried about was trying not to smash his skull up on the concrete below. So far, he still seemed intact, but the faster Celty's motorcycle went, the more uneasy the former bartender got.

Well, sure, he had ridden on Shooter with his best friend before, but that didn't mean that he had ever gotten used to that slightly breathless feeling that he got every single time he'd gone on a ride. He had also been inside his own body too, and as far as he was concerned, being in his own body was much more comfortable than being in the flea's, but he guessed that he couldn't complain. He wasn't dead yet, and the situation wasn't hopeless (well, he refused to believe otherwise- after all, what sort of nice thought involved the horrible louse anyway?), so that was alright… for now.

After what seemed like just about forever, but was probably only a few minutes at most, the unique roar of the motorcycle-horse ceased and Shizuo was dimly aware of the lack of air blowing past his face. Gingerly easing his hold around the Dullahan's waist, he awkwardly patted the motorcycle and slid off, before mumbling in a barely-audible voice:

"T-Thanks…"

To which he got the rapidly-tapped reply of:

{You're welcome, Shizuo… just head straight inside and Izaya should be there}

At the none-too-subtle clenching of the crimson-eyed man's teeth, the helmeted fairy hurriedly added:

{He promised not to hurt you, and you promised not to hurt him too, so behave, okay? Just for the time being, please, _please_, try not to raze the hotel to the ground. It took a lot of convincing from Shinra and half my month's wages just to pay for your room for the week…}

And as the resentful look reluctantly slid off his face, Shizuo barely caught a glimpse of:

{I'll come visit tomorrow, so go on in}

Before Celty and Shooter swiftly disappeared from sight.

Sighing quietly to himself and resisting the urge to pick up the nearest heavy object (since he didn't have his strength anymore, attempting what he normally did was downright dangerous, and even a 'Neanderthal' like him knew as much), the small male shuffled forward before sizing up the revolving doors in front of him. With a final dissatisfied growl from under his breath, the debt collector steeled his nerves, before walking straight in and out of the gilded entrance, and into his new lodgings…

* * *

_**A/N: **Before anyone chews me out for this, I'll just say that I have no idea what sort of doors the Prince Hotel in Ikebukuro has- in actual fact, the only idea I have of it are pictures on Google Images and information found on Wikipedia. Since I'll probably fudge other non-important details like the arrangement of hotel doors and the illumination of a city on a moonless night, please bear with me and my failure in description... Oh, and again, any sort of requests for the plot in the future would be greatly appreciated~_


	5. Country Mouse, City Mouse

**Chapter Five: Country Mouse, City Mouse**

The sight that met Shizuo's crimson eyes was not the one that he'd been expecting.

Actually, nothing he'd ever seen in his life could prepare him for the wonders he now beheld.

If someone had asked him what he thought a hotel was, he would've immediately thought about the slums that all those illegal Ikebukuran immigrants lived in; after all, that was the only 'hotel' he'd ever been in during his whole life. His impressions of a hotel, before walking through those imposing revolving doors, would be along the lines of a very unimpressive living place fit for mice to live in. This, however… this was far, far removed from what he'd initially thought all hotels were like. This couldn't even _compare_ to what he was seeing.

His eyes hurt from the stark whiteness of it all. His ears hurt from the squeaky sound his shoes made on the floor. His mind whirled in disorientated loops as it attempted to comprehend the sheer size of the foyer that he'd walked into.

For the first time in his life, he finally realized what people had meant when they had boasted about the Prince Hotels as 'the best hotel chain in the world', because seriously, nothing could beat all this.

However, the splendour of his surroundings was immediately lost on him when his eyes finally located the crescent-shaped reception desk. If it wasn't for the lone figure of a fake blonde in a scruffy bartender suit, he would've ignored the elegant mahogany piece of furniture. Unfortunately, just as he'd spotted the intrusion on the perfect scene, said intrusion spotted him as well, and it was with an ominous creaking noise that the man eased his elbow off the polished surface.

Too annoyed to realize that he had only switched bodies and not physical prowess as well, the ravenette bared his teeth at the approaching figure and began charging towards the other. Just as he realized that he was going much faster than he usually went, he felt himself slam into a hard surface (which he later identified as his former body) and he remembered no more.

After all, his head was not built to run into hard things that were on par with brick walls.

* * *

Izaya had pretty much expected the Neanderthal to run for him, but he hadn't really thought he'd run straight at him- but then again, it was only to be expected of the brainless male. Snickering at the other's apparent stupidity, before realizing that his former face would probably get a bruise due to the contact, he hissed under his breath before easily picking up the still form on the ground. Treating his body as a sack of potatoes for the time being, he slung it over his shoulders, before heading off to their shared hotel room.

Yes, that reminded him now. He had to _share_ a room with the degenerated amoeba.

As much as he loved having the protozoan around, the informant had better things to do than have his underground business put at risk due to the idiotic man he now had slung over his shoulder. The fact that he was now stuck inside his body was even more concerning in its own way- after all, Shinra had never told him whether Shizu-chan would have access to his memories or not. With a slight grimace at the thought, the fake blonde leapt up the stairs effortlessly as he pondered.

Despite his lack of speed thanks to his current ownership of the monster's body, the long legs that he now possessed more than made up for the lack, and he was extremely grateful for the inherent stamina of his foe when he finally made it to their hotel room. Fishing out the key that the Dullahan had given him before he'd left the underground doctor's apartment (since, as she explained, it would be a… hassle… if anything revealing was to happen in front of the hotel staff), he slipped the key into its slot before easing his way inside. As soon as he'd dropped off the knocked-out brute onto the single bed closest to the door, he sighed quietly before taking a seat on his own bed.

Now that he had time to think about his situation, Izaya was actually quite annoyed at the frailty that his body seemed to exude during its defenceless moments. He couldn't remember ever having been this light, but then again, it wasn't as if he really ate anything substantial anymore, and it wasn't as if he bothered to check his health status. Glancing bemusedly at the still figure on the bed next to his, he shook his head sadly before ignoring the unconscious figure. He could worry about that later…

Right now, what was most worrying to him was his complete lack of electronics. Not only had his phone been smashed during his collision with the Neanderthal, his other phones were nowhere in sight, since he'd left them all at his Shinjuku apartment. Not only that, he didn't even have his laptop, seeing as that was also back at his apartment, and his switchblade… well, that was probably in some crevice of that gigantic crater he and Shizu-chan had made.

His priorities now lay in getting his work items, since his current body was pretty much a weapon now. Even if his living quarters was on the 3rd floor of his luxurious apartment block, he was sure that, with the brute's body, he could easily leap up to a window, pick the lock that he'd ingeniously decided not to change, before grabbing what he needed and escaping the way he came. The only problem would be the time to grab everything… but now was just as fine a time as any other, he supposed. Actually, since it was the very early hours of the morning, he could probably make it there and back without anyone spotting him.

With a determined glint in his chocolate-coloured eyes, and a strange grin twisting his face, the fake blonde eased his large frame off the bed and silently slunk to the door. Glancing back at the immobile form of the ravenette, he quietly whispered:

"Sweet dreams, Shizu-chan... or not~"

Before he reached for the doorknob and prepared to sneak outside once again.

* * *

The further Celty rode, the more uneasy she got.

Sure, she had managed to deliver Shizuo to the Prince Hotel, but she wasn't sure if he was going to be fine once he'd stepped into those imposing doors and then met Izaya inside. Knowing him, he'd probably throw a fit and attempt to break a few things, and even though she forced him to promise to behave himself, anything could happen when the short-tempered man lost what little patience he had. If he somehow figured out that he had a switchblade in his hands, and if he could unconsciously access the agility and speed of his current body… then all hell might break loose. Even if the snarky informant could manage to crush the other with the strength he currently had, she couldn't count on the devious nature of the other.

Even though she had promised her boyfriend that she'd be back within the hour, she wasn't sure whether she could uphold that promise now. Being a traditional character, she'd rather not break the promise, but this was an incident referring the two most unstable humans she'd ever met in her life. Despite all that she had gone through over the years, she hadn't met people as crazy as these two, and it was due to their obvious insanity that she felt as if she needed to check up on them.

No, rather than return home, she felt as if she needed to turn back and check up on them.

Her conscience demanded it of her. Actually, her whole being was convinced that all was not well. She couldn't really describe the feeling, but she knew that at least one of them was up to no good. Pin it down to experience or just some random inner sense, but right now, someone (probably Izaya, since he was the slier of the two) wasn't behaving themselves. And she wasn't about to let the city she'd grown to love get into grief because of those two again.

Shaking her helmeted stump from side to side as she paused in the middle of the empty road, she patted Shooter, almost as if in apology, before turning her trusty steed around and roaring back to the tall, gilded building. As unearthly neighing echoed from her disguised horse, she struggled to come up with an excuse for her arrival if she was wrong, and the two were actually behaving themselves.

All she could do after that was pray to whatever gods existed in Ikebukuro. Pray that she was either wrong in her suspicions, or that she arrived in time…

* * *

_**A/N: **Looking back on the previous chapter, I realized that I'd incorrectly suggested that Celty conversed via a phone, when it was actually by a PDA; changes have been made regarding that. The claims about the Prince Hotel... I randomly pulled that out, so it might or might not be true. Oh, and if I'm misrepresenting the characters in any way, please do tell me; my skills in writing in-character only extend to self-made characters so there's a good possibility that I've done something weird to the characters. Anyhow, thanks for reading my little waffle fest~_

* * *

**_[EDIT: _**_So I was just re-reading my chapters and I felt like something was off, but I didn't know what it was... so here goes nothing then. Just before anyone can say anything, I know that, if I were the reader, I'd probably ignore this edit or just flame about it, but I just wanted, well, feedback of some sort.  
So I saw these other fanfics on the website, and I saw how they'd reward their readers for giving them reviews. Now, I won't copy them and do the exact same thing, but what I wanted to do was, perhaps, garner some constructive criticism- the type that point out flaws or perfections in writing. If I manage to get at least 10 constructive reviews, then I'll pick at least one person to get a tailor-made one-shot or multi-chapter story, depending on my capabilities and the reviewer's preferences. Just so this offer of mine doesn't coincide with the creation of this story in any way, I'll reward the reviewer(s) when the story's ended and I've got enough time to write a decent fanfic. Sorry for the pathetic offer and my long edit, but well... if you, the reader, have a bit of time to spare, then please help out a poor old writer. Well, thanks for reading my rant~**]**_


	6. Three's A Crowd

**Chapter Six: Three's A Crowd**

The tightness coiling in her gut refused to go away, even as she roared up to the Prince Hotel's entrance and found it to be peaceful.

It wasn't because of the emptiness of the street, because she had made sure of its emptiness before allowing Shizuo and Izaya's transfer. It clearly wasn't because of the eerie silence that had fallen on the hotel, because she had also orchestrated that before the transfer. There was much more to it than just physical anomalies, and as much as she denied it, her senses were the only things that could qualify as her justification. Even so, it wasn't too much of a stretch to suppose that the two were doing something bad- they were always attempting to crush each other into the ground, and even by themselves, they were forces to be reckoned with.

So instead of driving back and attempting to make it to Shinra's place in time, the shadow-clad Dullahan leapt off her motorcycle and raced inside the sparkling doors. Paying no heed to the wonders that had captivated the last person to walk into the hotel, the helmeted female materialized her infamous death-scythe and grabbed it with both hands, before slicing through a half-hidden door and entering the emergency stairwell. Although it was much dirtier and stuffier than the stairs that most people would normally take to their rooms, Celty knew that anyone wishing to sneak out of the multi-story block would be coming down these stairs.

Normally, faced with the darkness of an abandoned location (like the stairwell that she was currently standing in), the superstitious Dullahan would stop short and refuse to enter. However, since her will to help out her friends was much stronger than her irrational fear of the supernatural, she paid no heed to the eerie cold winds swirling around her as she effortlessly bounded up the stairs. It had never crossed her mind that she was supernatural as well, and thus should fear herself, but what was currently crossing her mind was the desire to see her best friend safe and sound.

Hopefully, she'd be able to get there soon and settle her doubts…

* * *

The black lump lying on the bed stayed in its position, even as the creaky door emitted mournful noises at its hinges. Gritting his teeth as tension settled into his body, Izaya quickly glanced from the disappearing figure to the door as he finally eased it closed. When he finally managed to close it with a last squeak and a soft click, the blonde male was relieved to find that there was nobody else in the corridor. It wasn't surprising that there would be nobody about, since it was the early hours of the morning, but nonetheless, the informant was glad for the solace the empty space gave.

Smirking to himself as he imagined the ease of which he'd be able to gather his work equipment, the male smoothed down his dishevelled bartender suit before waltzing down the corridor. Whistling under his breath as he reached a different pair of stairs to the one that he previously used, he wrinkled his nose at the faintly musty smell that he felt blowing behind the lacklustre door, before stretching out a hand to ease it open. Just like the shared hotel room he'd left a few moments ago, the door opened with more doleful creaking.

However, unlike the last time he'd pried open a door, there was someone on the other side.

And this somebody was definitely not going to leave him in peace.

He had barely registered the presence of a cat-eared helmet atop the figure's head (or, to be more specific, neck stump) before he felt the air _whoosh_ explosively out of his body. Gasping slightly as Shizuo's toned form absorbed most of the impact, he still felt winded as the black shadows emanating from the figure wrapped tightly around his waist. With a grimace and a few low snarls, chocolate eyes bore into the deadpan visor of the Dullahan as she stepped slowly from her spot behind the door.

He didn't know how or why she knew about his actions and to be honest, he didn't care; what irked him more than her appearance was the resigned aura her shadows were forming. Continuing to hiss at the helmeted fairy as she drew out her PDA, she ignored his anger and tapped coldly on her screen before shoving it into his face:

{What did I tell you about sneaking out as Shizuo? Someone might have spotted you!}

"Ne, Celty, did you really think I'd be that careless~?"

{You're not the most reliable person and you're a little hard to miss. Besides, who knows whether there might be people wandering around for no particular reason…}

"Come on, courier, you should know by now that I'm not an informant for nothing~~"

{You certainly are a magnet for any sort of trouble- but still, what would Shizuo think if there's nobody there?}

"The monster would just be relieved, ne~ And besides, I'm sure he isn't about yet. He was pretty much dead to the world the last time I saw him…"

{And so, what about it? If you know him as well as I do, then you know he'll be up by now}

"Ahaha, and the next thing you'll tell me is that he'll rush straight out into the corri-"

As Celty's shadows tightened even further around his immobile form, Izaya's words abruptly drew off into a gasp at the lack of oxygen. Just as he was about to angrily shove her shadows off (which he'd later realize would've probably ended up as a waste of energy), a low shudder ran down the corridor. Before the two could process this information and realize that they were going to get unwanted company soon, a door flung itself open as a black-clad leg showed itself, and a split-second later, the leg was joined by the rest of the body.

While the shadowy figure next to him began to flail from the shock of the intrusion, the tall male caught in her grasps shook his head wearily at the disturbance occurring behind him. He had thought there wouldn't be anyone interrupting his and Celty's 'interesting' conversation, but he had betted without factoring one protozoan into his equation.

"…Ah, trust Shizu-chan to come and ruin my fun-filled plans…"

* * *

He hated waking up prematurely.

More than that, he hated waking up with a headache.

To have both happen to him at the same time… was nothing short of annoying; in fact, it was downright infuriating.

The last thing Shizuo remembered was running into his body, and then he guessed that he'd passed out. For some inconceivable reason, he was lying on top of an unfamiliar bed, which probably meant that, for some other unknown reason, someone had carried him all the way to where he now lay. If his guess was right, it meant that Izaya, the last person he remembered seeing, had carried him here. And as much as he _loved_ being in the flea's debt, he really didn't want to repay a favour. Especially if it was to the fucked-up and _annoying_ little shit that was his mortal enemy.

By the time he had summoned the energy to stagger from the bed and shuffle over to the window, the crimson-eyed male finally figured out where he was. The feeling of vertigo from staring twenty storeys down, and the oddly neutral smell that he could detect all pointed to one thing: he was still stuck in that hotel that the Dullahan had dropped him off at. From what he could tell, he was in no shape to escape from his confines, and even if he wanted to, he had kept that promise to his friend. Right now, though, all he could think about was pummelling the little shit that had inhabited his body into the ground. Even if that meant giving his former body a hell of a lot of bruises.

Instinctively shoving his hands into his pockets as he made a beeline for the door, he paused when his right hand brushed against a cold, metallic object. Confused at the feeling, and unsure of what it was, he naturally drew out the object with his hand, and narrowed his eyes cruelly at the sight that met him. Having forgotten that he was in the flea's dirty body, he'd also forgotten that he now had whatever the sneaky bastard had on him, including what was in his pockets.

Well, at least the switchblade would come in handy when he was done bashing the other's head in.

Grinning a split-second later, he tucked the weapon back into his pocket as he resumed his short journey to the hotel-room door. As he approached the closed entrance, the ravenette swung his leg backwards, before violently sending it forward to collide with the doorknob. Smirking slightly as it shattered under his foot, before wincing at the pain coursing up his leg, the debt collector gritted his teeth and firmly placed his foot down, before stepping hastily outside.

Needless to say, the first thing he spotted was the highly annoying figure of the flea stuck inside his body and, oddly enough, he seemed to be struggling within some shadowy grasp. Ignoring the presence of the headless fairy holding his enemy hostage for the time being, he growled in the flea's disgusting voice before launching himself at the wriggling form. With cold fury glinting in his blood-red eyes, the fur-clad male swiftly drew his head back, before he smashed it straight onto the other's forehead.

Obviously he hadn't learnt that he didn't have his monstrous strength at his disposal, but even if he had, Shizuo would've probably done exactly the same thing. Having that sort of explosive, all-consuming anger did nothing to help his slow mind, and so it was that he completely forgot that his actions would probably lead to his temporary demise... again. Of course, this thought never really reached the former bartender's mind, but if it had, he wouldn't be grinning in a strangely triumphant manner while he attempted to bruise his former body's head.

In any case, instead of sending the other into an oblivious world of hazy pain, he was unfortunately knocked out by his own violent blow.

And for the second time in the hour, Shizuo slipped back into his own twilit world, oblivious to the second bruise forming on his forehead.


	7. The Art Of Deception

**Chapter Seven: The Art Of Deception**

If Izaya hadn't realized that his Shizu-chan was mentally retarded, he now knew for sure that he was.

Any normal human would not dare to physically fight the fortissimo of Ikebukuro, but clearly, the protozoan was anything but a normal human. It has certainly surprised him when furious crimson eyes attempted to stare holes through his own mocha ones as soon as he'd made eye contact with the monster, but what had surprised him the most hadn't been the malevolent glare, but the actions following. Although the former ravenette had never fainted before in his life, he was nevertheless struck by how pitiful his original body looked without a conscious soul inhabiting it. He was also struck by the sheer willpower that he himself must've possessed- after all, he'd never fainted when the odd heavy machinery had smashed into his body, which meant that it was probably due to shock, and nothing more, that had the debt collector in a messy heap at his feet.

In any case, the situation was both novel and wonderful, and Izaya continued to mentally jeer at his fallen foe before he was suddenly constricted by the thick shadow wrapped around his waist. Hissing as the Dullahan behind him snapped out of her flailing and tightened her hold on him, he could do nothing but stay still as she carried him and the unconscious man back to their shared room. As he was dumped unceremoniously onto the bed, he faintly noticed, through the sudden dizzy haze that he'd acquired as soon as he'd been dropped, that the headless fairy had closed off all possible escape routes with her shadows.

However, instead of sulking at the helplessness of his situation, the information broker was busy calculating his chances of escaping as soon as the helmeted rider was out of their room. There was no way that he was going to stay cooped up with the short-tempered monster for a whole week (in fact, if he wasn't in possession of the fake blonde's body, he would probably be dead right about now), and he didn't really like to think about his mental health if he had to live with such a stupid person. Of course, he could do nothing for now, but when she was gone… he would make his move.

Right now, though, all he could do was stare into the Dullahan's empty visor as they waited for the protozoan to wake up. There was really nothing that he could do other than wait, and as much as he hated the time-wasting action, he didn't have a choice when it came down to the activities he could do in the time he had right now. As his eyes blurred over and sleep began to conquer his mind, a slight motion in his periphery shook him out of his reverie, enough for him to recognize the action as some sort of… arm-twitching.

It was both amusing and disturbing to watch, but at least it gave him something else to do with his eyes…

* * *

The throbbing in his head just wouldn't go away.

The pain seeping through his body just wouldn't go away.

Actually, the whole of today, including all its embarrassing memories, _just wouldn't go away_.

As much as he wished to keep his eyes closed, Shizuo knew that he couldn't stay in his closed-off state for long. If he remembered right, his best friend and the annoying flea were waiting for him to wake up, and as much as he hated the flea and wanted to stay asleep, he owed it to the headless fairy to know of whatever had been troubling her. Struggling to his elbows as his crimson orbs dilated from the dimness of the room, the ravenette wasn't allowed to adjust for long before a strange cackling assaulted his ears.

It took a while for him to pinpoint the source of the noise, but when he did, he saw red again.

He didn't know what the flea's problem was, but every time he was attempting to keep himself under control, the informant would wriggle under his skin and tear off his composed air. Unfortunately, this time was no exception, and as the mad fit of amusement that the other was currently in was both confusing and highly irritating, Shizuo quickly found his control snapping beyond all hopes of repair. Growling in the louse's pathetically high-pitched voice, he threw himself at the source of the noise before he was stopped abruptly- by a thick tendril of smoke.

Unwilling to give up and allow the annoying man in front of him to win, the furious fur-clad male drew out a switchblade from one of his baggy pockets. However, before he could even unclasp the blade and throw it at the source of his anger, another black shadow whipped forward and struck the weapon from his grasp. As he growled again in the flea's whiny tone, the mad cackling continued to echo through his head in a most annoying manner. Just as he was about to snap and tear at the shadows binding him, the headless fairy shook her head wearily before tapping out:

{Do the both of you _have_ to act like children throwing tantrums?}

"Ne, Celty, but the protozoan is just so fun to mess with~!"

"Shut UP, FLEA! I wouldn't act like this if it wasn't for you!"

"Awh, Shizu-chan, I'm so touched that you reserve a special part of you for me~~"

"FUCK YOU louse, just let me kill you RIGHT NOW!"

"Maa, maa, Shizu-chan, do you really want to end up dead or, worse, be stuck inside my body?"

"I don't give a shit, I just want you DEA-"

Before he could finish off his furious comment, the ravenette found his mouth securely locked by an ethereal gag, but he didn't really complain when he saw that the flea also had his mouth locked up like his. Narrowing crimson pupils at the hated enemy opposite him, his glare was returned by smouldering mocha-brown pupils when an electronic device was forcefully shoved between them:

{Shizuo, Izaya, if you can't behave yourselves then I will personally be babysitting the two of you. Really, must you both go at each other's throats like animals? If I let my shadows off your faces, you'd better promise to keep the peace, or I'll make sure the next week will be less than pleasant for both of you… so please, at least let me talk and then you two can go back to killing each other…}

When Shizuo had finished scanning Celty's half-threatening and half-pleading words, he lowered his head slightly to show his chagrin at his actions. As much as he hated the flea, he also hated making his friends angry at him, and right now, his fury at the infuriating man opposite him did not compare to his mortification in regards to his supernatural friend. When the Dullahan finally let her shadows ease off his jaw, he kept his mouth shut as the flea grinned at his own release. Even when the fake blonde opened his mouth to voice a taunting opinion, he still kept his peace:

"Ne, Shizu-chan, I've never seen you this peaceful~"

{Izaya, shut it}

"Oh my, that one cut deep Celty… to be told to be silent by a mute creature is such a travesty~"

"Flea, shut it for your own good, okay?"

As the informant subsided from his snide comments due to the serious undertone of his words, the helmeted female nodded slightly to him in thanks before continuing on what she had wanted to originally say:

{Now, the main reason for me to come back was to make sure that one of you hadn't killed the other, so I'm glad you're both alive at the moment. What I really wanted to ask, though, was about whether any of you need anything. While I was riding back, I realized that you guys might be bored with nothing to do, so I was wondering if I could get anything for either of you… Shizuo, you can't smoke inside here and Izaya, there's no way you're talking to anyone on the phone, but the both of you can still use anything, so long as it doesn't compromise your situations. So… anything you two need? I'll go get it and return it in an hour of so if it's urgent, but I'll probably bring it before tonight}

"Eh, that's so sweet of you Celty~ Since you offered, I was wondering if you could get my laptop…"

"Fuck, so I can't smoke? Maybe you could get me some milk or candy instead then…"

"Ahahahaha, you're such a child Shizu-chan~"

"Shut up, flea, at least I wasn't a bitter little bastard before our bodies swapped!"

{Okay, okay, calm down Shizuo. So you want sweet food and dairy products… and Izaya, you want your laptop and probably the charger that comes with it. I'll also get changes of clothing and your other toiletries, since you both seem to have forgotten them, and those I'll drop off here within the hour. Now, when I'm gone, please, _please_ try not to raze the hotel to the ground. Shinra and I really can't afford to pay for it, and even you, Izaya, wouldn't have enough money to repay the damage}

"I'll try my best… but only if the fucking flea behaves too…"

"Fine, fine, I'll keep my peace for now~"

* * *

With his and the flea's promise to his best friend, the headless female placed her helmet back onto her head, before retracting all her shadows to her. As she made her way out of their room, the fur-clad male placidly waved to the retreating form of his friend, before the door closed behind her. Immediately after she was out of the room, the debt collector grabbed the switchblade lying next to him on the bed and glared daggers at the informant, before he turned his back to him and attempted to ignore the other's presence…

If she had possessed a head, Celty would've probably let go of the breath she knew had been held inside of her during the entirety of her time inside the hotel room.

Even though she had a niggling feeling that the two strongest (and craziest) men of Ikebukuro would be at each other's throats once she was gone, the Dullahan couldn't really do anything about it- at least they had left her out of their squabbling this time around. Wearily patting her motorcycle as soon as she got out of the high-rise building, she and her steed lurched forward and raced to grab what they needed for their 'delivery' before the sun rose over the city again.

Of course, she was in such a hurry that she never noticed the shadow slipping away from the Prince Hotel. Even if she did, there was no way that she could've guessed that this particular person now knew of Izaya's and Shizuo's temporary cohabitation. If she had, though… then the headless fairy would probably be in a panicky fit.

After all, when it came down to secrets, Erika Karisawa consistently failed at keeping them.

* * *

_**A/N: **That's right, the main antagonist for an unspecified portion of this story will be none other than the avid fujoshi, Erika- if the reader managed to figure this out, then the writer will now take the time to applaud them, since there was absolutely no indication of this~ On a darker note, though, Fyrshi is currently staring at a fortnight of exams thanks to a horrible invention termed as 'school', and may be updating less frequently than desired. However, the author promises not to neglect this fanfiction for the entire fortnight, because it'd probably kill him to, so fear not reader. Well, in the meantime, please look forward to the next chapter~_


	8. Broken Dawn

**Chapter Eight: Broken Dawn**

The spine-chilling neighing of her disguised horse echoed through the seemingly-empty city as Celty roared towards Shinjuku and Izaya's plush apartment. She still remembered the one time that the informant had allowed her to enter his living quarters; as stylish and modern as everything had looked, the Dullahan hadn't been able to prevent the negative feeling she'd gotten as soon as she'd stepped into the monochrome rooms. There had been something lifeless and sterile about his whole apartment, and she had been glad to exit it when he told her of the delivery she had to make.

In contrast, Shizuo's homely apartment was a place that she always loved to drop by, which was why she decided to get the debt collector's things before going over to get the information broker's stuff. Unlike the barely lived-in feel that the latter's rooms exuded, the intimate and warm surroundings of the former's rooms always made her feel secure and welcome. Even if there were a few fist-sized holes in the walls and empty milk cartons (as well as the odd cigarette packet) scattered throughout, it was still a nice place for Shizuo to live in… compared to the cold harshness of Izaya's home.

As her thoughts wandered and she narrowly missed a few standing lamp-posts, the headless fairy decided that she should probably rest for a few minutes before riding any further. Patting Shooter again as she dismounted off the motorcycle, she had barely settled in a nearby bench when a person materialized in front of her inert form. Despite the obvious presence of the female otaku, Celty continued to ignore the silent figure before she was jolted from her position by a high-pitched:

"Cel~chi, is it true that Shizu-chan and IzaIza are living together~?"

After flailing around at her blunt question, the flustered Dullahan pulled out her PDA before replying:

{W-W-Where did you get that idea from?!}

"There's no use lying to me, Celchi~ I _saw_ you outside the Prince Hotel, y'know~~"

{Y-You must be mistaken…}

"Aha, I _know_ I'm right, otherwise you wouldn't be trembling so much"

{I-I-}

"There's no use lying, since I saw Shizu-chan sprinting towards the Hotel"

{B-But-}

"You and IzaIza were travelling in the exact same direction as Shizu-chan, too~!"

{…Okay, Erika, what do you want?}

"I just want you to tell me the truth~ Oh, and maybe the reason for their living together. And maybe give me a few details so I can draw a doujinshi about Shizu-chan and IzaIza having a lovey-dovey night- Say, is that Shizu-chan's stuff you've got there with you~?"

{T-This stuff? It's not his, not his at all…}

"You _are_ a really bad liar… if you were actually human, I might interrogate you so I can find out what I want, but I guess nothing will probably work on you… what a pity…"

{W-W-Whoa, what?! Okay, okay, I'm just delivering things to the two because they have some top-secret thing going on that they need stuff for, but it's definitely _not_ what you're thinking!}

"Oh, so now you tell me something~ Well, I still want to see them anyway, just in case, so I guess-"

{No, what?! You can't go see them; they won't even let me in for more than five minutes!}

"Awh, wow, that must be harsh on you~ Well, tell me when they're super-duper top-secret meeting's over and then I'll go find out what happened, okay~?"

{S-Sure thing…}

"Oh well, I guess I'll be going back home then~ Yumacchi must be worried about where I am-"

{Wait a moment}

"Oh~?"

{Don't go telling anyone else about this, okay?}

"Mmm, if you do something for me in return sometime in the future~"

{Fine with me, just don't go telling anyone. I don't want to see Shizuo any angrier than he normally is}

"Awh, that's so sweet of you~ Sure thing, Celchi~~"

{Thanks Erika…}

"No problem, Dullahan~! Now, I'd better be going now, so see you around~! Oh my, my fujoshi dreams might just come true~~~"

As soon as the trippy otaku had removed herself from the nearby vicinity, Celty was sure that, if she were human, then she would've probably dropped dead from shock. As it was, the mythical reaper had a hard time controlling the shivers that coursed through her body, and it took a good amount of time before she could get herself under control again, because really, it had been hard for her to lie without trembling. Running her hands up and down her arms in an attempt to soothe her nerves, the helmeted rider stood up from her bench before walking back to her trusty steed.

By the time she had reached Shinjuku and collected Izaya's belongings, the famed rider of Ikebukuro knew the course of action that she'd have to take next. When she was done delivering the feisty duo's belongings and apologizing to her boyfriend for her unexplained absence, she would probably have to find Erika before the chirpy otaku could blabber about Shizuo and Izaya to the wrong people. As much as she wanted to trust Shizuo's friend, she had too much experience with the high-strung female and her inability to keep things to herself.

Silently glancing at the fiery orb rising above the city's skyline, the headless rider lowered her neck stump down as she sped towards the Prince Hotel with her delivery safely tucked under one arm. If she was lucky, she would be able to finish off her self-imposed duties and be able to find the manga- and anime-crazed female in about an hour's time.

After all, she didn't want the situation going out of hand so soon…

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the small hotel room that Shizuo and Izaya were in…

…nothing was going on. Literally.

Instead of flying into a rage and smashing up half the room in an attempt to chase the flea out of his living space, Shizuo was just too goddamn tired to do anything. Even if he was in the mood to trash the room and cause more trouble for his best friend, he knew that he couldn't really do anything in his condition; even someone as 'dim-witted' as him could figure out that he wasn't all that strong anymore. Sighing darkly to himself as he continued to face the wall and ignore the bored informant behind his back, the ravenette also attempted to ignore his mind's urging to have a smoke.

Even though he was as bored as he'd ever been in his life, he knew that he didn't want to give the louse any satisfaction by relieving the other's boredom, even if that meant that he himself had to stay bored too. Yawning silently to himself and shrugging off the faux-fur jacket draped around his shoulders, the debt collector made sure to keep the switchblade on his form, just in case, before he decided that he needed to move his body around- after all, he hated getting cramps in his limbs.

With a strangely-graceful descent off the bed, the crimson-eyed male yawned again before eyeing the equally-bored figure of the fake blonde sprawled on the adjacent bed. Shuffling off to the bathroom and turning around again when he felt curiosity radiate off the chocolate-eyed male, he merely grunted:

"Bathroom, flea. I'm not going outside, unfortunately for you…"

Not caring for the spike in the devious bastard's curiosity levels, the smaller man continued shuffling to the bathroom as slowly as he dared, before he firmly locked the door upon entry. Running a shaky hand through his black bangs as he pressed the other one onto the bathroom vanity, the former bartender glanced up at his reflection and had to fight the urge to promptly smash the mirror up. Obviously, being in a semi-daze ever since he'd woken up about 12 or so hours ago, the fact that he was now the flea hadn't really sunk into his brain, but once he saw his reflection, the disgusting notion hammered itself home in his unwilling mind.

Those crimson eyes, so very much like spilt blood.

Those black locks, hanging like dead foliage over his face.

And that thin, cruel mouth, which was so often found in an arrogant smirk…

With a snarl of overflowing fury, the short-tempered male decided to ignore his previous warning to himself and opted to raise his fist to the mirror. As he found himself struggling to stop himself from shattering the reflective metal and heaping seven years of bad luck on top of the bad luck he was already experiencing, he ended up punching the hand leaning hard on the vanity. Gritting his teeth at the sudden flare of pain that jolted up the unoffending appendage, he hissed between his clenched jaw before he collapsed heavily on the toilet lid.

As he tried to suppress his anger and calm himself down, he blearily wondered whether his life would ever go back to normal again. Sure, it would be wonderful if he could get his body back and just go back to living his daily life… but would he ever be able to settle back down to the person that he used to be? Sighing for the umpteenth time as he lethargically got up from his seat, he shuffled over to the door before opening it to step outside.

As much as he wanted to lock himself away from the world…

…he didn't want to give the flea the satisfaction of seeing his depression.

* * *

Izaya was bored.

For the first time ever, the irritable monster was actually keeping himself in check, which was highly annoying. As much as he wanted to mess with Shizu-chan, he wasn't going to put in the extra effort to rouse him out of his stupor, and besides, he didn't even know if the protozoan had figured out how to use the switchblade yet (he probably did though, judging from the earlier attack). Even if he were to actually whip the debt collector into his usual rampage, it wouldn't be as fun to dodge the weak attacks of his former body, since there was just no _danger_ in the situation, and so he kept his peace. For now, anyway.

His self-induced stupor was lifted momentarily when the lazy beast smoothly stepped off the bed- which was surprising, seeing as he hadn't thought of the person opposite as anything but a nasty Neanderthal. Quirking up an eyebrow in a fine arch as his curiosity piqued at his shuffling towards the door, he was reassured slightly when the other grunted his intentions to visit the bathroom, before he flopped back down onto his bed in apparent boredom.

When the ravenette had finally entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him, the fake blonde slowly sat up in his bed before sneaking over to the wall separating Shizu-chan's bed and the bathroom. Leaning his ear on the wall and hearing choked growls faintly through the wall, he giggled silently to himself at the despair evident in the other's voice before he flounced back to his bed. With a considerably lighter air, the informant whistled merrily to himself before browsing the faintly unreceptive black box squatting opposite him.

As chocolate eyes flicked over the television's hazy screen and calloused fingers repeatedly prodded the remote, the oppressive boredom settled back over the capricious information broker. Yawning widely as he finished scanning the limited channels that the black box had, he shut down the TV with a grumble and threw the remote back into its cradle. With no other distractions evident to him, and with the boredom settling deeper and deeper into his inert form, Izaya decided that he would do what he set out not to do in the first place: taunt Shizu-chan repeatedly until he got a response. First, though, he had to wait for the ravenette to remove himself from the barricade that he'd made in the bathroom.

Sneaking over to the locked bathroom door and positioning himself next to the hinged side, the fake blonde balled up his fists and stuck them into his pockets before he leant casually onto the wall. As the rising sun cast a brilliant orange glow on his relaxed frame, the informant searched his mind for some witty remarks, before he smirked widely to himself and awaited the protozoan's re-emergence.

It was time for him to have some fun…

* * *

_**A/N: **Despite my best intentions, it seems as if the story seems to stretch longer... and longer... and longer... anyhow, sorry for the oodles of dialogue in this part, and any mistakes that might still be there (since my editing skills are steadily declining- as my English teacher insinuates). By the way, if my portrayal of Erika is out of character, which it probably is, then please do tell me, since I don't really know what the fujoshi usually acts like, other than the fact that she's sorta chirpy all the time and rarely, if ever, forced into her serious and dark side... That is all..._


	9. Operations (Of Many Sorts)

**Chapter Nine: Operations (Of Many Sorts)**

His head was hung low and all he could hear was his feet dragging on the carpet, so Shizuo could be somewhat forgiven for not hearing the flea's initial comment to him.

Actually, it took a good prod on the shoulders and an insidious smirk being shoved into his face before he realized that, unfortunately, the jumpy bastard just wasn't going to leave him alone. It was too good to be true, in any case, when he had been left alone. So it seemed that, well, the flea and he were going to go back to their old routine of physical and verbal abuse.

At least it might do something to ease his mind off his newfound depression.

Turning to the casually-smirking louse with an effort, and snarling at the pleased expression the annoying insect conjured up just for him, he growled low in his throat as the other took a step forward. Glaring into the amused depths of the other's chocolate-brown eyes, he drew in a slightly shaky breath as the other languidly teased:

"If I didn't know any better, _Shizu-chan_, I'd say you're feeling sad~ I wonder why, though~?"

"…up, flea…"

"Ne, Shizu-chan, I can't hear your mumb-"

"I said shut the FUCK up, flea. I'm not in the mood to listen to your disgusting words…"

"Awh, that sounds almost cute when you say it in that voice of mine~"

"And that sounded like shit coming out of my mouth."

"So harsh, ne~ Well, why don't I help cheer you up some~?"

"…Clearly, you are out of your fucking mind. Why the fuck would I want your help, flea?!"

"I don't know, you just look so… hmm… _pathetic_, like a whipped cur~~"

"…Celty…"

"Eh, what's that again~?"

"I said sorry to Celty… for what I'm about to do…"

"Oh, and what might that be, little monster-chan~?"

"…this…"

As his response left his thinly-pressed lips, the ravenette snarled in an angry tone of voice before swiftly drawing out the switchblade he'd been keeping up his sleeves. Mentally thanking whoever controlled his life that he had been wearing a long-sleeved V-neck shirt (that was capable of hiding objects in its sleeves), the debt collector swung the glinting blade in a wide arc at his opponent. When his attack was blocked by a sinewy arm and his fury-laced growl was swallowed up by the mirth pouring out of his prey, he was forced to stare back at his opponent as the flea positively sang:

"That's the spirit, Shizu-chan~ Now I can say that you attacked first and do whatever torture I want to you~ Well, mentally, of course. Unlike your protozoal self, I actually want my body intact when I get it back, ne~"

Hissing in pure rage as his hand was struck with a heavy force, Shizuo had no choice but to drop the weapon in his hands in favour of cradling his hurt appendage. Glaring futilely at the other as he was picked up by the scruff of his shirt, he barely suppressed the groan of pain as he was slammed bodily into the wall, where he was left dangling by a hand to his neck. Clawing at the restriction on his windpipe and beginning to gasp for air, the last thing he saw before his vision was enveloped in a strange darkness was the joyous expression on his former face twist into one of pure shock.

It looked like the flea wasn't enjoying his supposedly 'mental' torture, which was a bonus for him.

At least that bit of information offered some solace to the air-deprived debt collector.

* * *

The headless rider of Ikebukuro had rushed as fast as she could to the Prince Hotel, and if she were human, she would've definitely been out of breath by now. As it was, though, the Dullahan was pretty much slower than usual when she leapt off her disguised steed and ran for the normal flight of stairs. Bounding up the stairs and dodging the occasional hotel guest, she finally reached the floor at which the two craziest men of Ikebukuro were situated, before she whipped the door off its hinges with a badly-aimed length of shadow.

It was at this point that Celty was glad that she'd rushed, because the sight in front of her wasn't something that she would ever condone. Sending forth more whip-like shadows as she tore the two enemies apart, the fairy was relieved to see that they were both alive (barely, in one case) but was quite angry that her well-meaning warning had been ignored. As well as that, it wasn't as she'd expected, either; instead of seeing the ravenette snap, it seemed as if the fake blonde had.

Pulling up the door behind her as she entered the room, the shadow-clad female placed her two hostages onto their respective beds, before gently unwinding her shadows from their upper faces. As the debt collector struggled to breathe normally again and the informant glared daggers at her, she drew out her PDA before tapping resignedly:

{It was a bit wishful of me to think that the two of you could possibly get along…}

"Tch, I _said_ I would behave if the flea did, but he went back to being a bastard so-"

"Oh my, so you swinging that switchblade at me for trying to cheer you up counts now, does it~?"

"As if you wanted to cheer me up, shit like you don't just try to fucking help people!"

"Ah, that one hurt, Shi~zu-chan~"

{Right, stop it, both of you. Or do you not want breakfast, clothing and the other things I brought?}

Watching in palpable contentment as the age-old enemies recoiled from the electronic device stuck into their faces before turning away from each other reluctantly, Celty pocketed her PDA for the time being before easing her helmet off. Allowing the suppressed fumes from her heck stump to flow out, she placed the cat-eared headpiece next to the door before taking a seat by the window. By the time she had finally managed to find where she'd placed the bags she'd brought with her, the two Ikebukurans were already stretching out their hands for their respective bags.

Handing the larger of the bags to the information broker and the smaller one to the debt collector, she observed their reactions to the contents of their bag in general amusement as they rummaged through what she had brought for them. Keeping in mind that each body housed an opposing soul, she had dealt with the bags accordingly and placed what each needed in them- of course, this didn't mean that they'd like the contents any better, but at least one of them might be thankful for her efforts.

Needless to say, neither were impressed with what they saw.

"Tch, more of the flea's disgusting furry jackets and black stuff…"

"It's better than the stuffy bartender outfits that you always wear, you stupid protozoan!"

"Fuck you, flea, it's not my problem that I like wearing my brother's gifts!"

"Ne, Shizu-chan, does your single-celled brain not realize that you're not a bartender anymore~?"

"Easy for you to say, you shitty louse, you're the motherfucker that got me OUT of that job!"

"Ouch, watch your language monster- Oh well, at least I've got my laptop here~"

"Ah, I've got my phone… hey, thanks Celty"

{You're welcome :) }

"Ne~? How come I don't get my phone, Celty~?"

{Simple, you'd use it to chat to people. Shizuo disabled his phone calls when you got his number, so all he does now is text his contacts}

"Oh, so that's why I couldn't call my dear Shizu-chan anymore~"

"Shut the fuck up with that stupid nickname, bastard!"

"Meh, whatever, Shi~zu~chan~"

{Oh, you two, did you see the food I got too? Or are you too busy arguing again…?}

"Sorry, Celty… but thanks for the strawberry cake. It looks pretty good"

"Eh, you're such a child Shizu-chan~ But oh my, is this ootoro I see~?"

{Yep, the bakery was open so I got you some sweets, Shizuo, and underneath that's a carton of milk, just in case there wasn't any in that mini-fridge of yours. Russia Sushi was open, Izaya, so I asked Simon for some ootoro, and he was nice enough to add an extra serving since you like it so much}

Of course, the headless fairy had left out the trouble she'd gone to in order to persuade the bakery owner to buy a cake before sunrise, but Shizuo didn't need to know that. As well as that, Simon had been a little too inquisitive about the reasons for her extra-early delivery of Izaya's usual breakfast, but he had to stop when his workers came in, so that was a relief to the Dullahan. She also didn't mention the meeting with Erika (for obvious reasons) as well as the trouble she had to go through when some of the men's neighbours discovered the rider breaking into their rooms, but they didn't need to know. And besides, even if the fake blonde was a heartless man with no sense of gratitude, at least her best friend would be eternally grateful for the trouble, which was enough to warm up her approximation of a heart.

Standing up slowly and looking out the window, Celty inwardly sighed at the steadily-rising sun above the city's skyline, as well as the increasingly-busy traffic thronging on the streets below. Taking out her PDA and signalling her wish to go back home, she bowed slightly in thanks (and slight surprise) when the taller male fetched her helmet for her, before escorting her to the door. Turning back and inclining her helmet at his uncharacteristically nice actions, she recoiled slightly in shock when he opened his fist and half-sang:

"You rea~lly should be careful about the people you hang around, ne~"

Before, without so much as a warning, the Dullahan was ejected from the hotel room and found the door slammed behind her. Puzzling over the crushed recording device that she'd sensed in Izaya's hands, and wondering whether any of the people she'd met earlier had been the owner of that unfortunate material, she shrugged slightly before descending to her vehicle.

It was about time she got home and apologized to Shinra, anyway.

* * *

Staring wide-eyed at the static flowing across her screen, the female otaku pouted angrily before slamming the device shut. Poking the sleeping person beside her with unnecessary force, she awoke her male otaku counterpart before ranting:

"Yumacchi, someone broke my recorder! I thought you said it'd be indestructible and undetectable!"

Gesticulating wildly and generally carrying on as the other blearily attempted to make sense of her words, Erika mentally cursed herself for underestimating the other person's intelligence in finding her little bug. It was probably IzaIza who'd found it, since Celchi and Shizu-chan were probably not as crafty enough to realize that it was a device, but she had definitely seen Shizu-chan plucking off her device. Actually, now that she thought about it a little more, the whole recording that she had saved up over the past half-hour was very, very strange…

It was by mere chance that she had the recording device on her person when she confronted the headless rider of Ikebukuro- she had been on the way to bug her favourite music store in hopes of finding information on Miku-Miku's latest song release, but had decided to spend a bug on Celchi instead. When she'd quickly finished her chat with the mysterious woman, and completed her original bugging task, she'd rushed straight home to Yumacchi and began watching the footage streaming from the device's perch in the nook of one cat-ear. Nothing had really popped up that was of interest to her, but that had all changed when she found herself staring at the fancy Prince hotel.

Her eyes had been glued to the screen as soon as Celchi had separated a fighting Shizu-chan and IzaIza (which could've been a fight or rape scene, from the looks of it), and her fujoshi side had completely taken over when the two began to argue fiercely after the shadows were released from their faces. Grinning widely to herself at the moe appearance of a teary and enraged IzaIza, she had first noticed there was something wrong as soon as the two began talking.

Even though IzaIza looked perfectly normal, he was talking just like Shizu-chan.

And Shizu-chan looked perfectly normal too… but he was talking like IzaIza.

It was quite a disturbing change and she'd dismissed their switched mannerisms as too little sleep on her part, but as she continued to watch their actions and listen to the recording, she couldn't deny that the two were acting really, really out of character. As she had come to a conclusion as to their weird actions (which was something along the lines of Celchi feeding the poor pair some strange mind-altering drugs that Shinra had given her), her camera had cut out… but there had been something highly disconcerting showing about a few seconds before it had cut out.

As this thought hit her, Yumacchi was finally given some peace from her ranting, but was given more cause to worry when she frantically tore at the screen in her hands in an attempt to rewind its contents. When she had finally managed to rewind it without tearing the poor electronic to pieces, her eyes widened in both horror and understanding as she saw what had unsettled her so much.

She had rewinded… and replayed… and rewinded it again… and replayed it again… and by the time she had finally confirmed her suspicions, her other half had returned to the land of dreams. It was actually a good thing that he'd fallen asleep, because he might've been scared by the insane glint in the hyper fujoshi's eyes.

Now that she was sure that Shizu-chan's body was definitely taken over by IzaIza and vice versa…

…all she needed was confirmation from Celchi about the details.

* * *

_**A/N:** Yes, so there's going to be a lot more dialogue stuck in from now on, and the word count is just going to keep on increasing slowly, despite my best efforts to keep this story readable and not too long- oh well, such is life. I'm not sure if it's just me, but I might be making the characters too OOC or just screwing up the story with my quick inferences and and blocky dialogue, but I do hope that the chapters will stay manageable. Since my exam period is well and truly launched, there might be mistakes in the story on which I did not pick on, so I will most probably re-edit this chapter. I apologize for my fried mind and the long rant, but until then, please enjoy this new chapter~_


	10. Newfound Fears

**Chapter Ten: Newfound Fears**

Needless to say, the underground doctor was sobbing in her arms as soon as she walked into her shared apartment, and as soon as she'd elbowed her sniffly boyfriend across the room and made him calm down, she told him about everything that had occurred. By the time Celty was done with her lengthy recount, Shinra had a rather disturbed look on his face- of course, when she tried to ask him, all he did was smile goofily and offer her some breakfast to eat. Not to be fooled by his horrible attempts at changing the topic, she continued to pester him all throughout their breakfast, until he finally told her of his suspicions:

"Well, my dearly beloved- Ow! Fine, I won't call you that then-, you mentioned that you had only seen Erika, Simon and the baker, right?"

{And then I'd gone straight to Shizuo's hotel room… so?}

"Unless you've suddenly got yourself a supernatural stalker-"

{THAT'S SCARY!}

"Okay, okay, calm down, it was just a jo- Ouch! I'm sorry!- well, that means that one of the three put that camera on you…"

{Simon wouldn't do that because he probably doesn't have the skills and the baker's also out then}

"Which means that, well, the only logical conclusion is that..."

{Oh no, don't tell me…}

"…Erika's the one behind it…"

{…If Shizuo and Izaya's secret just got revealed, then I'm probably going to be dead soon…}

"At least you can't die anymo- Owww! Jeez, I was just trying to be optimistic!- but she couldn't have figured it out that quickly, if you think about it"

{No, Shinra, you've got it wrong; Shizuo might not be able to figure it out, but someone as crazy as Erika will most definitely figure it out. I suppose you've never seen her doujinshi-}

"Come again?"

{Right, it's basically her fantasy stuff about boy on boy pairings. Anyway, someone as twisted as her could probably chance upon the right answer purely because she's read about something like this before, so all we can do is either hope that she actually doesn't know, or that she'll keep her mouth shut about it…}

Just as the headless fairy had tapped out her response, the two seated individuals flinched as Shinra's mobile phone rang noisily beside them. Grinning sheepishly in apology before picking it up, he furrowed his brow as silence greeted him, before his eyebrows shot up high at the familiar voice on the other end. Listening with a half-terrified appearance, he finally hung up when the other person had finished speaking, before he turned to Celty with a very pale face. As she began to flail slightly in panic, the bespectacled man nervously pushed up his glasses before mumbling:

"T-That was Erika… and s-she wanted to m-meet up with you…"

* * *

It had taken a whole lot of begging (and a few well-aimed threats along the lines of damaging his previous van) before Erika finally managed to get her driver, Saburo Togusa, to ferry her to where she wanted to go. She had been waiting impatiently for Dotachin and Togusacchi, as well as the breakfast that they were bringing back, and as soon as she'd finished wolfing down what they had to offer, she had immediately called up Shinra, since Celty couldn't possibly talk to her. Explaining her plan and allowing the unfortunate listener no time to refute her arguments or negotiate with her, she had directed them to a specific unpopulated location, before she had hung up and began to harass her friend for a lift.

By the time she and Yumacchi had been dropped off at the alleyway behind the Prince Hotel, the eerie neighing of a disguised horse echoed in the empty lane, before a familiar shadowy figure made itself known in the darkness. Ignoring her unwilling companion's audible gulp of concern at the angry aura radiating off the headless fairy, she waved happily to the other before widening her eyes slightly at the materialization of the Dullahan's death scythe. Standing her ground as the cold rider stalked up to her, she barely flinched as the other shoved her PDA in her face:

{Did you say anything about Shizuo and Izaya to anyone else?}

"Ah, so you _were_ lying to me when you said you didn't know~ Your skills are improvi-"

{Don't change the subject, Erika! Answer me already!}

"Wow, this is really serious, isn't it~? But really, as if I would tell anyone…"

{How DA- Wait, huh?}

"Yep, that's right Celchi, I didn't tell a~ny~one~"

{But what about Walker…?}

"Oh, Yumacchi? He doesn't know a thing, see~?"

With that being said, the female otaku turned around and grinned at her male counterpart. Dragging on his arm so that he was forced to stumble and stand beside her, she nudged him in the elbow and prompted him to tell the headless fairy about what he'd been doing. By the time he had (rather shakily) explained what he'd been doing, including the confusion at Erika's craziness during the whole of the morning, even Erika was wholly convinced that the other otaku knew nothing. Of course, he was smart enough not to reveal that he had an inkling of what was going on, and besides, the sooner he could escape the two crazy individuals with him, the better his life would probably be.

When poor old Yumacchi was allowed to go, the two females watched as he scampered away, before they turned to each other. Resignedly shaking her helmet from side to side as she rested her death scythe in the crook of an arm, she slowly tapped out a message before Erika read it:

{Why do you… actually, what do you want by knowing about Shizuo and Izaya?}

"Ah, I was getting to that~"

{?}

"You know, this is the best opportunity for my fujoshi dreams to come true, so why would I bother ruining the one chance I have at making Shizu-chan and IzaIza the newest Ikebukuran couple~? So of course I'll be keeping silent…"

{Oh no, not again, don't tell me…}

"Yep, I'm not going to disappear anytime soon. After all, I _want_ them to get along~"

* * *

Ignorant of the fact that his and Shizu-chan's fates were being sealed a few metres down, Izaya was busy nibbling the ootoro laid out on his sushi platter. Uncaring for the absurdity of his situation and his general appearance- really, in which dimension would a thuggish-looking giant act delicately?- the informant continued to enjoy his raw meat. It would've been an idyllic start to the day… were it not for the presence of sweets and a monster before him.

As a person who hated anything sweet to the point of nausea upon consumption, the fake blonde was currently having a hard time fully enjoying his traditional Japanese meal, simply because the monster opposite him was stuffing sugary cakes into his face in the most disturbing manner he'd ever seen. The few times in which he'd bought his twin sisters cake had ended up with them smudging cake all over their fingers and around their face, but the dark clothing that his former body was wearing was _covered_ in the gooey icing that the devolved amoeba had on his cake. Scrunching up his nose in revulsion and (dare he say) pity as he watched the other eat like the animal that he was, the information broker was seriously considering how anyone with a mild level of intelligence could ever love the retarded beast opposite him.

He had just abandoned his train of thought regarding Shizu-chan when, as if in reaction it, the protozoan glanced up from his half-finished sweets and growled possessively. Blinking in confusion at the noise, before finally figuring out that the idiot thought he was going to devour his cakes, the remaining soy sauce and ootoro nearly fell onto his bartender suit as Izaya's entire body shook with the force of his laughter. Wiping tears from his eyes and going off into another mirthful fit at the dull confusion and anger showing through the other's crimson eyes, it took him a while to calm down before he shook his head amusedly at the Neanderthal's growling.

However, before he could go back to finishing the rest of his breakfast in peace, the monster opposite him finally realized the reason for the fake blonde's interest in him, and with a strangely embarrassed expression, the ravenette began to wipe the icing and crumbs off his personage. As chocolate-coloured eyes watched the crimson-eyed man struggle with the sticky fragments of cake on his shirt and pants, he rolled his eyes at the other's actions, before sensing the other's ambivalence towards his gesture. By the time he looked up again, though, Shizu-chan had excused himself and disappeared to the bathroom, no doubt to clean himself and change his clothing.

Making sure that the unpredictable fortissimo wasn't going to return anytime soon (by wedging a rather large block of wood under the bathroom door), Izaya took out his laptop before accessing his email. Wincing slightly at the vast array of work-related messages that were clogging up his inbox, he replied to them all with a polite refusal before making his way to his information website. With a heavy heart, the informant edited his front page and declared his business 'CLOSED- for the time being' before he powered down his laptop and removed the block of wood from the door.

Although he wanted to continue working while he was cooped up with Shizu-chan in the hotel room, he knew that Celty would probably freak out at him, and the monster would most definitely try and interfere with his work. Even if he could somehow manage to dissuade the devolved amoeba and his fairy friend from butting into his life, his clients were the picky sort that liked to meet face-to-face, for 'professional' reasons, which was currently impossible in his state. Of course, financial concerns were the least of his worries, but he was still reluctant to allow his rivals to get his hard-earned jobs.

At least his 'condition' would be cured soon, or so his former classmate had assured him of. In any case, if it wasn't solved within the week… then someone was going to be very, very sorry that they'd ever messed with his life. He still didn't know who or what was responsible for his condition though, but when he finally found out who or what it was… then they were going to pay, big time.

That was, _if_ he ever got himself back to normal…

* * *

As blood-red eyes stared back at him from his reflection in the mirror, Shizuo wondered, not for the first and last time, if he would ever get used to the disconcerting image of the flea.

He also wondered about how in the hell he'd managed to get so much cake on his person.

Although the former fortissimo of Ikebukuro ate cake on a regular basis, he had never managed to get this many smudges on his face or his clothing. It was probably because he was unused to the flea's tiny body and his midget-like features, but then again, he had been larger than most people all his life and anyone was considered small in his eyes. Pulling thin lips down into a frown as he tried to get a particularly large cake crumb off his cheek, he was struck by how… cool… he looked-

Wait, wait, what was he thinking?!

Sure, he'd never really seen the trippy informant do anything except taunt him into seeing red, but now that he had the opportunity to do commonplace things with the louse's body, he discovered that the body he possessed had a certain _air _to it. Whether he'd been running at his former body, eating food clumsily or even cleaning himself, his body moved with a certain fluidity that, he had to admit, his bulky frame didn't have. Of course, this made his actions look elegant, which was weird, since all he'd ever thought about was how annoying the little insect was, but it was… an interesting thought.

Okay, there was definitely something wrong with him now.

Smacking his head with his cleaner hand as he tore his gaze from the mirror, he growled deep in his throat before ripping off the flea's dark clothing. Tossing the ruined shirt and pants into a heap in the corner before stepping into the shower, he cleared his head from his troubling thoughts and enjoyed his shower (though he took great care not to touch anything, seeing as he was still the louse) before tossing on a pristine version of what he'd been wearing before. Rolling his eyes in annoyance at the similarity of the clothing that his best friend had ferried over, he languidly pulled open the door and stepped outside.

Ignoring the strange jolt of surprise that the slippery informant gave at his entrance, he sneered at the other before sitting down on his bed. Without glancing back to see the louse's reaction to his disdain, the debt collector flipped open his phone before preparing to send a text off to his employee, his co-worker and his brother. After all, he didn't want his friends and relatives to worry.

Of course, he was so engrossed in thinking up a suitable message that he failed to notice the curiosity radiating from his temporary room-mate…

* * *

_**A/N: **I'm not too sure when I'll shift Shizuo and Izaya from an implied pairing to an actual pairing, but it'll probably start to shift from their... wonderful... relationship into something less akin to hate in about 5 chapters at most, though I make no promises on this. In any case, please continue to R&R and, as always, I hope you've enjoyed the story so far~_


	11. Curiosity Kills

**Chapter Eleven: Curiosity Kills**

As a person with absolutely no patience, it was a miracle that Shizuo was still keeping his peace, especially with the louse's annoying presence.

Although the flea was bouncing all around him, as he was wont to do, the ravenette continued to ignore the fake blonde with a calm that he pretended to have as he agonized over the text that he was going to send to his younger brother. Even though it had been easy enough to send something to his boss, Tom, and his friend, Vorona, he knew that his brother would see through the lie that he'd fed his work colleagues. And besides, he hated lying to his brother anyhow.

Unfortunately, he was stuck when it came to making up an excuse to tell his smaller sibling (who, now that he thought about it, was taller than him... which was highly embarrassing). He wasn't going to tell him the truth, for obvious reasons; that was just downright stupid, even for someone like him. He couldn't say that he was on vacation, like he did to his other friends; Kasuka knew that he never went outside of Ikebukuro if he could help it. He couldn't even pretend that he might be at hospital, since his brother would worry and then certainly come to visit him and then find out that he was lying, and as much as he _loved_ imitating the flea, lying just wasn't his thing.

Which left him at his current (and highly awkward) position of staring at his phone.

Unconsciously emulating a lost puppy as he stared dejectedly at his phone, it didn't take long for the annoying bastard that had been hovering around to pick up on his confusion. Feeling the usual vein in his head throb angrily at the sight of the smirking flea, he was about to continue ignoring the insect… when he felt all his control tear loose.

There were many things that people could do to him, but no one, and he meant _no one_, messed with his personal belongings. Especially when he was holding onto it, or if it was in his sight.

Regrettably, the louse just didn't comprehend that, seeing as he had snatched his phone.

_Straight_ from his hands.

Growling and attempting to swipe his phone back, Shizuo's crimson eyes narrowed in cold fury as his phone eluded his grasp, and it wasn't until the slippery bastard was done with whatever he wanted before he got it back. Glancing at the small rectangular screen and furrowing his brows in a mixture of anger and puzzlement, it took him a while to figure out that the flea had typed a message for him to send to his younger brother. He narrowed his gaze as he began to read what he'd written:

[Kasuka, I've eloped with my one true love and so I've left Ikebukuro for a better place~ Wish me and my darling a happy future and many children~!]

And by the time he was done …all he could see was red.

* * *

While all hell broke loose a few metres above them, Erika and her current (and unwilling) companion were dining in the hotel's famed restaurant- or, well, the fujoshi was, anyway.

Happily skipping into the 1st floor basement and into Bayern Restaurant, the female otaku paid for her and Celty's share of the food, before rushing over to the buffet set out for them. Launching herself at the array of eatables set out for them and grabbing whatever seemed delectable, the darkly-clothed woman proceeded to devour her food while the headless rider watched on in partial shock. She continued to refill her plate and eat until the ignored Dullahan finally interrupted her.

She had been in the middle of stuffing A-grade sashimi into her mouth when the supernatural being opposite her had pulled out her PDA and tapped:

{What's your point in bringing me here and watching you eat?}

After swallowing her mouthful and wiping the remnants of soy sauce on her mouth, the otaku responded in a mock-sad voice:

"Celchi, are you telling me that you're not going to eat any of this wonderful food~?"

{I've already eaten breakfast, thank you very much}

"But at least you could kick back and relax… no?"

{It's not a good idea to stay unaware in public; besides, we're attracting too much attention…}

Reading the headless fairy's text and casually scanning his surroundings, Erika had to admit that the other was quite the perceptive character; despite their best attempts to hide their curiosity, many people were discreetly stealing glances at their conspicuous forms. As she turned back to her companion and detected a slight sense of smugness under her overly-concerned aura, the female otaku shook her head amusedly before taking another bite of her food. When she was done chewing and thinking, she sighed slightly and mumbled:

"You really _are_ perceptive for a person without eyes…"

{Don't say that out loud, most people don't know of my identity! But thanks, I guess…}

"Anyhow, rider, I asked you for a favour a few hours earlier… do you still remember that~?"

{As much as I don't want to recall it, I have enough honour to keep my word…}

"Ah, good~ Then that makes my task all the more easier~"

{…You're going to ask for that favour now, aren't you?}

"Bingo~! Though, unfortunately for you, it's got nothing to do with your usual jobs"

{…?}

"Well, you said that you and Shinra were helping out IzaIza and Shizu-chan, right~?"

{…Oh no…}

"Yep, it's probably what you're thinking, if you're thinking that I want in on helping those two~"

{…and why should I let you?}

"Hmmm~ Well, being their ultimate fangirl, I must do whatever I can to help them, and believe me, I've got a great amount of ideas which I'm putting at your disposal, so isn't that good~?"

{…I won't comment on that…}

"Ah, but before I forget… there was a reason as to why I invited you here to eat, instead of going to, say, Russia Sushi~"

{Let me guess… you want to do something with Shizuo and Izaya?}

"You're a really good guesser, you know~ But yes, I've got a plan for Shizu-chan and IzaIza"

{Which… you're going to tell me and then act on immediately}

"If I didn't know you at all, I'd say that you had IzaIza's skills~"

{I don't even know if that's a compliment or an insult…}

"Anyhow, here's what I've got in mind…"

* * *

As he twisted away from the knife that threatened to pierce his sides, Izaya marvelled at the latent speed that his monster's body possessed.

Sure, he'd been fighting the protozoan long enough to figure out that the brute had a good amount of strength at his disposal, but as he utilized the natural features his body had, he was surprised by the speed that accompanied the strength. He'd probably been too busy taunting the Neanderthal to notice that their chases always ended up with a near-escape on his part, but right now, as he rapidly dodged the small projectiles that the ravenette was throwing at him, he began to appreciate the raw strength, stamina and speed that his body currently had.

Heck, if he hadn't appeared in Shizu-chan's life, the man might've become a great athlete or something… not that he wanted to think about that possibility.

Just as this highly strange thought left his mind as quickly as it had entered it, he found himself face-to-face with an angry, crimson-eyed man. Laughing directly into the other's face as he twisted elegantly (or as elegantly as a monster could) out of the way, he was intrigued by the strange face that the other seemed to show to him, just as he'd moved away from potential harm's way. Rather than the mindless fury that he was used to, there was a strange… confusion… in the other's expression. Although he found it quite amusing that the monster was capable of looking so hilariously conflicted, it was quite bizarre for him to see such a _human_ expression in his protozoan.

The whole point of a monster was, well, to be a monster… not to be a human. It was slightly annoying to see that his well-trained pet had somehow managed to defy him, yet again, and although it was entertaining to continue watching the puzzlement bloom on the other's face, he really didn't like how his former face looked so _pathetic_ and so _strange_ with its odd mixture of ferocity and uncertainty. Suddenly tired of his cat-and-mouse game, the fake blonde grabbed the ravenette in a vice-like grip and, ignoring the other's struggles, he pinned the wriggling man to the wall. As the other swore and hissed at his rough treatment, chocolate-coloured eyes wandered out the window and settled on a strangely dark figure a few metres down.

Mentally noting the perceived appearance of his courier's disguised horse, Izaya turned back to his struggling victim and casually leant his face closer to the other's. Internally smirking at the abrupt lack of movement emanating from his former body, the informant murmured close to the debt collector's ear:

"Shizu-chan, aren't you tired of being cooped up in here~?"

Openly smirking at the dark look that flitted momentarily across the smaller man's face, he was slightly surprised (but not entirely caught off-guard) by the other's instant reply of:

"Shut the fuck up, flea, you're probably planning something which I want NO part in!"

"Ne, normal people plan all the time, unlike some dumb protozoan that I know~"

"…Shitty bastard…"

"Tsk-tsk, you really should watch your mouth there, I don't want my body back with a filthy little mouth~ But anyways, guess what I saw when I peered out of our window~?"

"I don't want to play your fucking mind games, louse!"

"Oh fine, be a spoilsport then… well, I saw Shooter sitting rather calmly outside, just so you know"

"…But why would Celty's motorcycle be outside? I thought she'd gone home already…?"

"My point exactly~ So that's why I wanted to find ou-"

"Are you deaf? I said NO, dammit, and that's FINAL"

"Oh well, you really don't want to know why Celty might be here~?"

"…Fine, I'll go with you to see. JUST to make sure that you're not doing something shifty, got it?!"

"Meh, suit yourself, Shizu-chan~ Now, let's go before our quarry disappears, ne~"

Releasing his iron grip on his former body and disregarding the soft gasp that his former body emitted upon his release, the long-limbed male strode towards the door, before pressing his ear on its thin wooden surface. Satisfied with the silence that he perceived on the other side, he turned back to the complaining male behind him and gestured for him to be quiet, before easing the door open. As he gritted his teeth at the loud creaking noise and reminded himself to get some sort of grease for its rusty hinges, an all-too-familiar darkness enveloped him, again.

And, for the second (and probably not the last) time, Izaya found himself wrapped in the cold ethereal shadows that belonged to his courier…

* * *

Celty didn't like being proved wrong, but she had to concede that, for this time at least, the female otaku beside her had been much more perceptive than she had been.

After Erika had explained her plans and literally _dragged_ her out of her seat, the headless rider could do nothing but tag along, especially when she understood why the fujoshi was so intent on hurrying to the men's shared room. They had barely arrived at the 7th floor when the Dullahan saw, to her horror, that Izaya was attempting to sneak out, and without too much thought, she had instinctively shot out her shadows and wrapped around the two men, effectively trapping them in her ethereal bonds. Internally sighing in partial relief at being able to catch them and partial annoyance at the informant's dogged persistence, Celty managed to exit the Prince Hotel without attracting too much attention, despite her obviously nervous nature.

When the supernatural being and her companion had finally made it to their initial meeting place at the back of the hotel, she conjured a black van-like carriage to place the two captured individuals in. By the time Erika had somewhat allayed her suspicions and Shooter had somehow been persuaded to enter her shadowy contraption, peak hour had fallen on the bustling metropolis of Ikebukuro and the headless fairy was more nervous than ever in regards to carrying out the female otaku's audacious plan. Of course, there was nothing she could really do now (other than place Izaya and Shizuo back into their room, which was a highly idiotic idea) so, with her proverbial heart hammering inside of her proverbial form, she cautiously proceeded to the location of the fujoshi's initial location for her plan.

The only thing she could do now was hope that her crazy companion actually knew what she was doing… because if she didn't, then they would be screwed.

* * *

_**A/N: **Yep, so I decided to leave everyone at a cliffhanger... which most people will probably figure out before I post up the next chapter... although, if you've got any ideas, I'd be more than happy to hear them~ Actually, if I've got enough time, and someone correctly guesses, I might even be able to write up a quick story for the guesser (not that I'm bribing readers for reviews, I'm just very interested to see what people will think Erika's plan is). But until then, thanks for the 1000 views, dear readers~!_


	12. Scholastic Relations

**Chapter Twelve: Scholastic Relations**

As a person who normally had complete control over his own situation, Shizuo naturally hated being at the mercy of someone else. This time was no exception.

The last thing he'd remembered was tagging behind the flea as they snuck out of their room- one moment, he'd been about to complain about the slowness of the person in front, and the next, he'd been thoroughly gagged and bound by a familiar set of black shadows. Thrashing around in a futile attempt to dislodge his best friend's signature restraints, he was rewarded with a tightening of his bonds for his efforts, and due to the restrictions it provided on his lungs, he soon passed out. Again.

He didn't know the louse's body was this fragile, but the lack of endurance that he seemed to possess right now was just ridiculous. When he was free, he was going to drag off the bastard to get some physical exercise to increase his body's defences- no, wait a moment, why did he even care? Oh, that's right, he didn't want to be chasing the idiot and then having him collapse the next second due to a non-existent concussion. After all, it wasn't all that fun taking out a stone-cold person, even if it was the most annoying thing in the world.

Just as his confused mind attempted to make sense of his illogical train of thought, the ravenette felt the real world call to him and, with an air of slight reluctance, he surfaced from his unconscious state and awoke to find himself loosely bound. Before he could appreciate the slight improvement in his situation, though, he found his body being wracked by chills, thanks to the cold wind blowing around him. The sun shining down on his exposed frame didn't help his shivering body warm up, but it did manage to shed light on the exact location- because, really, where else in Ikebukuro were there synthetic lawns, 2m-tall fences and benches scattered around on the roof?

For some odd reason or another, it seemed as if he had ended up on the rooftop of Raijin High's main building.

And unfortunately for him, he wasn't alone.

Hearing a quiet snort of laughter to his right and twisting his head around to confirm the source of the noise, the former bartender wasn't all that surprised to find that, sadly enough, the flea was in a loosely-bound position next to him. Although he could wriggle around, he couldn't exactly move away from the infuriating bastard thanks to their connected bonds, and so he had to endure the stupid little snickers that the fake blonde was emitting. Gritting his teeth and turning away from the seated figure next to him, he was startled to find that there was another person on the roof too.

Of all people that had to be there…

…it just had to be Kadota's crazy female friend, didn't it?

* * *

Even though there were many other suitable places for her plan to take place, Erika was more than content with choosing her old school as the location for IzaIza and Shizu-chan's 'rehabilitation'.

Although she had never bothered turning up to class half the time, the female otaku held fond memories of the previously-named Raijin High; after all, it was where she had met her destined counterpart, Yumacchi, and countless other friends (like Dotachin), and where she had discovered her fujoshi side when she'd witnessed the first time her two captives had met and fought. It was almost ironic to make them discover their love for each other in the same place where they had discovered their supposed hate, but the irony was what made it such a good choice for her.

Giggling to herself as she sat down on a vacant bench, she glanced at the knocked-out pair while she swung her legs back and forth in partial excitement and partial boredom. As she reminisced about her past in regards to her high-school life and mentally relived all those wonderful memories, she failed to notice the silent awakening of her prisoners, but she soon noticed when a soft snort of derision caught her attention. Turning to the larger of her two hostages as she witnessed his display of amusement and faint exasperation at the discovery of his position, she was pleased to see that IzaIza seemed to get the irony of his situation- though it didn't appear as if Shizu-chan did. Although it was expected, it still made the fujoshi a bit sad.

Swinging off her perch and catching the attention of the smaller of the two males, she skipped over to the informant and stared closely into his wonderfully mesmerising chocolate-coloured eyes for a short while. Satisfied with the annoyed noises coming from the ignored ravenette to her right and with the glint of anger (and, dare she say, fear) she could detect in the fake blonde's eyes, she straightened up and grinned at the two of them before taking out a manga volume. Revelling in the power that she currently had over the crazy pair, she idly flipped the well-worn pages of the art book before she abruptly shoved a coloured double-spread into their faces.

When her captives had sufficiently recovered from having a blur of colour stuck rudely into their faces, Erika happily chirped:

"There are so many males in mainstream manga that just _have _to fight, and I did the courtesy of compiling a whole volume dedicated to the antagonistic pairs~ But if you look closely on this page, there are all sorts of aggressive males… look, look, there's Naruto and Sasuke, Zoro and Sanji-"

"Ne, Erika, I knew you were obsessed with yaoi but I didn't think your obsession would extend so far~ I'm impressed, with your knowledge-gathering expertise you might make a good informant~"

"Erika, what the fuck is this shit?! I couldn't give two craps about all this! And flea, shut it already!"

"Hmph, don't interrupt me while I'm talking about my interests, that's just plain rude~! And IzaIza, I'll never become an informant, because then who'd be the underground genius with Shizu-chan's heart~?"

"Don't call me Shizu-chan, dammit! It's bad enough that the louse calls me that!"

"Wow, who knew Shizu-chan was so possessive of my dear nickname for him~?"

"I said SHUT UP, you damn fucking flea! Once I'm allowed to, I'm gonna pound you into the ground so hard that you won't be able walk straight after!"

"Oya oya, Shizu-chan, it sounds like you're going to 'do' IzaIza~! Kyaaa~~"

Amused at the immediate silence that met her fangirl squeal and her less-than-innocent words, and slightly hurt at the mutual disgust etched on their faces, Erika smiled broadly at the quiet duo before her and tucked her self-made manga back into her book bag. Adjusting her sagging black hat slightly, she revelled in the momentary peace that had descended over them before she waved a hand at a particularly dark spot on the rooftop, and she fought to control her glee when the peace broke with a rather loud snarl from a certain crimson-eyed male.

It was only to be expected that the former bartender would act angry though.

After all, it wasn't every day that one discovered their perceived betrayal by their best friend~

* * *

She hid in the shadows that she was so very closely affiliated to, and silently watched- but then again, Celty was a creature deprived of a voice and thus was normally quiet anyway.

Although she had felt a little bad about tying up her friends and ferrying them to their old school on Erika's command, she couldn't disagree with the fact that the otaku's idea was simply better than anything that she and Shinra had been able to conjure up. Other than the prattle about illegal drugs that the underground doctor had mentioned, and her own hesitant attempts at making the two enemies date, they had absolutely no way of helping Shizuo and Izaya on their way. Despite the fact that the fujoshi's plans sounded a bit far-fetched to her, the notion that they might just bond over some hidden common ground was a pretty good idea.

Hence her reasoning for bringing the two males to the deserted school rooftop.

Even though Raira Academy was placed right in the middle of East Ikebukuro, its large establishment meant that, unless there were people inside the school grounds at the time, there was a fairly low chance that anyone outside would know of whatever was going on inside. The fact that it was the holidays for its students was a good thing too- this meant that there was even less of a chance that the four of them would be caught. Since the high-rise buildings of the bustling metropolis would be filled with commuters and would be highly dangerous for carrying out the unorthodox plan Erika had in mind, the headless rider had to agree that here was far better than anywhere else.

However, as soon as she'd ferried her best friend and his enemy over, she had wanted to escape back to her apartment- sadly, though, the manga-obsessed woman controlling the situation had not given her permission to do so. Having been instructed to wait in the shadows and make sure that her ethereal bonds wouldn't come off the sleeping duo, she'd done just that… until she was beckoned forward with a none-too-subtle gesture by the babbling otaku. She had eased her way from her comfortable position and was now at the mercy of Izaya's surprise and Shizuo's anger.

Scuffing the toe of a boot on the synthetic material below, Celty refused to meet either one of the captives' looks (not that she could, anyway, seeing as she had no eyes to stare back with) as Erika smirked infuriatingly beside her. Seething slightly at her uncovered neck stump and making sure that the crazy female beside her could sense her exasperation, the supernatural being was rewarded with a muted gulp, before she heard a chirpy:

"Well, now that everyone's here and aware of each other's presence, let's hear the plan, shall we~?"

{Just get on with it, Erika… I want to go home}

"Oi, Celty, you think you can get away as easily as that?! You and Kadota's friend will be as dead as I want the flea to be when I'm released!"

"Ne, Shizu-chan, Celty's technically dead al-"

{GO DIE IZAYA}

"My, aren't we touchy today~? But just so you know, my dear protozoan, you're more likely to be dead seeing as you're probably at your weakest right now~~"

"FUCK you, flea, just go die down a fucking hole and save everyone the trouble! You-"

"Now, now, IzaIza and Shizu-chan, as much as you want to fight you do know that you won't be released until I explain what's going on, right~?"

"Che, get on with it then, otaku woman"

"That's _Erika_ to you, Shizu-chan; I'm quite disappointed that you don't remember my name… Well, let's explain why we're all standing here then~"

Feeling slightly sorry as Shizuo's currently-small frame shivered a little at the momentary frostiness in Erika's tone, the headless female tuned out the animated fujoshi as the other explained her plan. As far as she was bothered to know, it was something about having the two learn how to fight using each other's style so that they could pull off a convincing fight once they returned to society. The whole point of coming to an architecturally diverse place as their former school was to train up the ravenette in the art of parkour (which she was sure the other knew how to do already) and to see whether the fake blonde could harness his power to throw objects (which she didn't want to witness, especially if it meant paying for damaged property). Inwardly sighing in relief when the lively chatter finally ended, she carefully observed the two bound males as the words sunk into them.

She had been expecting a degree of sullenness from the pair, or even a sense of anger from either one of them, but she hadn't been expecting the gleeful smirk that twisted the taller hostage's features.

Starting in slight surprise and accidentally letting her shadows unfurl from the seated pair in front of her, all the headless rider could do was listen as the informant snickered:

"We~ll, let's go have some fun then, shall we~?"

Before she, along with two other stunned individuals, watched the formally-dressed male effortlessly leap over the fence and jump down to the ground below.

* * *

_**A/N: **And this is why I decided to classify the story as an AU; after all, I'm quite sure that Erika did not go to Raijin High. I also realized that, in the light novels, Erika refers to Togusa as 'Togusacchi' and Celty as 'Celchi' so I've edited Chapter 8 onwards to reflect that. By the way, those who realized that I'd gone and picked up 'Naruto' and 'One Piece' characters, they also do not belong to me... I just stuck them in there for fun~ On a random topic change, I've finished my exams so I'll probably be updating even slower (thanks to work, driving lessons and other stuff) so I apologize if I take too long to update. But, once again, thanks for reading this newest chapter~_


	13. Role Reversal

**Chapter Thirteen: Role Reversal**

The oddly-graceful leap of the flea in his former body did nothing to make Shizuo feel any better about his situation.

Granted, he was now free from those pesky shadow ropes thanks to Celty's surprise, but he really couldn't be bothered moving, especially when he was feeling just as surprised as the two other females on the rooftop with him. What startled him more than the cockiness of the flea (which he took for granted anyhow) and the headless rider's surprise (which felt palpable, interestingly enough) was the way in which the louse was moving his body. Whenever he himself had leapt over anything, it was with a brute force that even _he_ knew looked horribly clumsy… but Izaya's movements were just so… so…

ARGH, what was he thinking?!

Slapping himself with an open palm and jerking himself out of his confused train of thought, he was aware that he'd managed to turn the otaku's and his best friend's attention to him. Scratching the back of his head unconsciously as he tried to think of an explanation for his weird actions, he was interrupted when he heard a piercing (and highly mocking) stream of laughter float up from a few metres away. Momentarily forgetting his embarrassment as he rushed to the fence, his vision blurred into an angry haze as he saw the mad bastard punching holes into the ground with careless abandon. Growling angrily and clambering over the fence with a little more grace than usual, the enraged debt collector furiously yelled:

"FUCK YOU, FLEA, STOP DESTROYING THE SCHOOL!"

Executing a seamless jump from the roof to the ground three storeys below, he winced a little at the jarring of his knees, before he heard the annoying wave of laughter cease completely. As he dusted himself off with a seemingly calm air, he couldn't help but twitch slightly when he heard the mocking reply that the louse made:

"Oho~ Is Shizu-chan trying to become a saint all of a sudden~?"

"Grrrr… fuck off dammit…"

"Maa maa, Shizu-chan, what do you normally do when you chase me? Think about it for a moment, or until your single-celled brain gives up, that is~"

"Shut it, bastard, my brain's perfectly fine- Oh…"

"Ah, I could almost see the dim candle flicker to life above your head, ne~"

"Goddammit, flea, how many times must I tell you to SHUT UP?!"

"Well, but you must admit that you're a naughty monster, who goes around and destroys public property without a second thought, and who just can't control himself these days-"

"Right, that's it, I'm _not_ going to stand here and cop your shit any longer!"

"My, what's the tiny little Shizu-chan going to do~? Poke me in the ribs until I die~? Well, le-"

The ravenette was highly pleased when he managed to cut off the chatty bastard, especially when he also found that he'd managed to injure him at the same time. Smirking in a very Izaya-like manner as he found himself staring at a small bead of blood running down the shallow cut underneath the informant's eye, he revelled in the moment for a while before he felt the triumphant smile slowly slide off his face. As he heard the soft *crack* that the broken blade made after the taller male had stepped rather coldly on it, he heard a very, very soft:

"Nobody- and I mean _nobody_- is able to injure their god, especially a filthy little _protozoan_ like you… and _especially_ with my own blades…"

Widening his eyes in pure fright at the menacing aura that thickly emanated from his former body, Shizuo finally realized why people ran away when they saw him in any sort of negative mood. He found himself turning quickly on his heels and run away as soon as he comprehended the scream of primal fear that echoed through his brain. Even though he found a small part of himself being satisfied at making the flea snap…

…there was no way in hell that he could fight a scary bastard like that and live to see another day.

* * *

She had to admit, she didn't think her plan would work… but then again, her favourite fujoshi pairing always exceeded her high expectations~

To be honest, when Erika had formulated her very sketchy plan to get Shizu-chan and IzaIza together, she hadn't actually thought of a way to get them to fight in the way that they used to, when they were in their own bodies. All the female otaku had known was that, whatever the circumstances, her beloved duo would never be subjecting to her complete will anytime soon, and the informant's seemingly-random disappearance from the rooftop had only confirmed this thought in her mind. Obviously, she had been shocked at his quick thinking and his devious nature (even if he was the slipperiest and smartest person she knew, it didn't mean that she had to get used to him), but her shock had only increased when she saw the stunned ravenette beside her smack himself suddenly.

One look into his crimson eyes was all that was needed for the fujoshi to realize that Shizu-chan was confused- about what, though, she wasn't too sure about. Sure, it could be because of Celchi's distracted nature lately (which, now that she thought about it, was a bit unusual) or it could be because of his sudden freedom, but there seemed to be something… off… with his confusion. That something, according to her yaoi-loving nature, had something to do with IzaIza's natural charm. It was just like watching a snake at times; people knew they were deadly, but they couldn't help admiring the smoothness of the deadly creature's form.

She quickly snapped out of her meandering thoughts about comparing the information broker to a snake when a loud burst of laughter assaulted her ears. Following a little slowly after the black-clad male beside her, the female otaku's ears nearly burst when the thin voice of the man beside her pierced her head, but her discomfort soon gave way to anticipated excitement when the former bartender _finally_ decided to join his berserk counterpart below.

So here she was, standing beside the headless rider as they watched the commotion going on below. Despite the murderous aura that was surrounding the two life-long enemies, Erika couldn't help but feel a sense of exhilaration from watching their heated exchange. Even though the supernatural fairy beside her clearly radiated concern and doubt at the actions below, she knew that all was well since the duo below were natural windbags anyway… until Shizu-chan decided to injure IzaIza.

Oh, the nerve of the smaller to attack the larger~

Feeling the waves of concern and doubt from the Dullahan beside her increase tenfold thanks to the fighting before them, the darkly-dressed female patted the rider's trembling form before chirping:

"Hey, Celchi, I'm sure they'll be fine- see, look at them have the time of their lives down there~"

Smiling up at the expressionless helmet of her silent companion, the fujoshi furrowed her brows slightly at the negative shake of the head that the other gave, but before she could say anything, the Irish creature's PDA was suddenly in front of her face:

{Did you ever think about the damage that the two could potentially do? And how does anyone get the impression that those two are having 'fun'?!}

"IzaIza and Shizu-chan are always fighting, so by allowing them to indulge in something that both found normal in their lives, they'll probably bond over it, you know~"

{But that doesn't answer my question… besides, I don't have enough money to pay for those cracks in the pavement down there…}

"No need to worry~ You do know that nobody knows that we're here, right? So nobody can pin the costs on us-"

{Don't you have any sense of guilt though? I mean, I'd love to see those two just settle down and stop killing each other, but not if it means that someone has to pay for their misadventures…}

"You're just too nice for your own good, you know that~? But look below, I think the fun's just getting started~!"

True to her words, the yellow-topped and black-topped blobs below had slowed down their chasing for the time being. Grabbing out her binoculars and training it on the indistinct human shapes below, she gasped happily at what she could see. Sensing the curiosity flowing from the headless rider beside her, she pointed down at the two as she happily squeaked:

"Look, look, IzaIza's trying to hurl a vending machine at Shizu-chan, and it seems like Shizu-chan's having fun taunting IzaIza for his weakness! Oh, they're just the most adorable couple ever~!"

Ignoring whatever reaction that Celchi might have towards her, she continued to train her eyes on them until, suddenly, she gave a drawn-out groan. Tucking her binoculars back into her bag, she turned to the supernatural being beside her before mumbling grumpily:

"Shizu-chan and IzaIza _just_ had to change locations for their fight, didn't they? Spoilsports…"

* * *

Izaya was an exhibitionist and that was a well-known fact; however, that didn't mean that he liked to show off everything to the public eye. Especially when it came down to his failures… like his inability to make the protozoan stop _laughing_ at him.

He hadn't thought that his former body's laughter had been annoying- actually, he had thought that it sounded maniacal and all-knowing- but once he wasn't in possession of himself anymore, he finally realized exactly why people always told him to keep his peace when he was giggling in his usual self-satisfied manner. When he was listening to his former body and the monster's gross misuse of it… it just sounded so horrible. He hadn't thought that the idiot had been in possession of any sense of humour, until he had attempted to throw a vending machine at the nuisance.

Even though he knew that he didn't want to damage his own body, the urge to flatten the other was just too great. Granted, he'd been happy enough to chase after the terrified ravenette for a while, but when the other had begun to throw his own blades at him again, the informant couldn't help but feel mad. Although he never realized that he himself always did that during their daily chases through Ikebukuro's main streets, he suddenly found that the man's aped mannerisms were just a little grating on the nerves. Scratch that- they were very annoying.

It had been at this point that he'd discovered a vending machine within easy reach. Even though he wasn't quite sure how or why he was even doing what he was doing, the fake blonde found himself striding towards the drink-dispenser with the intent of uprooting it and sending it crashing onto the other's form. The next few minutes had been spent trying to wrench it out from its brackets in the wall, and just as he was about to give up and grudgingly acknowledge that the brute was much stronger than he had thought, a sudden burst of anger allowed him to wrench it free in one smooth motion.

The reason for this burst of anger… was all thanks to the mocking taunt that Shizu-chan had dared to tease him with. As he'd been struggling and cursing to himself, a soft snicker caught his attention and before he could even think about kicking the smaller male behind him, he heard a singsong voice giggle and then tease:

"I~za~ya~kun, I guess you're still just wimpy bastard after all~ Even with the strength that I possess, you can't even lift a little vending machine from its brackets? Wow, I didn't expect my lifelong prey to be such a _loser_…"

At this point, the vending machine had been out of his hands and hurtling towards the cocky little monster, and it was easy to tell that Izaya was highly annoyed at the quick escape that the other did. Screaming bloody threats in an uncharacteristic rage, the informant had chased the smaller male into the school buildings, and they had continued to run around until, finally, they had reached a dead-end corridor on the other side of the school. With a fury-laced grin twisting his features, chocolate-coloured eyes bored into crimson ones as the taller of the two stalked towards the shorter.

Although he was highly irritated at the lack of fear in Shizu-chan's face, Izaya was sure that, soon enough, he would be sporting a look of catatonic terror when he was done dishing out punishment to the stupid little protozoan. Bringing himself ever-closer to the smaller male before him, he was just about to reach a hand forward to seize the other by the throat… when he found himself flung onto the floor, with an odd-looking monster perched on his chest. Hissing at the thoughtful look on the other's face as he gained irritation from the human look that the other was giving him, Izaya attempted to get up… but what happened next made him forget about all that.

Widening his eyes in a faint display of shock and fright as his former face inched towards his own, the fake blonde felt his limbs stay unresponsive to his mind's desperate urges to throw the other off and run out of there, but before he could do anything more than flick his eyes up into the crimson depths of his former body, he felt a strangely-soft pressure on his lips. Robbed of the ability to think, let alone move, he felt soft black tresses brush against his forehead as the pressure on his lips increased slightly. By the time he finally realized exactly what was going on, the devolved amoeba above him seemed to realize what he was doing too, and with a yelp of astonishment and anger, the ravenette clambered off him and pelted down the hallway to escape him.

Even if he had wanted to chase after the other, Izaya was sure that his confused mind and body wouldn't let him anyhow.

What was one to think when their mortal enemy k-k-kissed them out of nowhere?!

* * *

While the female beside her lay dying in a pool of blood that was _still_ gushing from her nose, Celty could only look on in utter speechlessness- at this point, even if she had a head, she'd probably be saying nothing at all.

When her best friend had escaped into the school buildings with his mortal enemy in hot pursuit, the Dullahan had leapt down from the building (with a very surprised Erika in her arms) and ran after the hot-headed duo. Stealthily keeping behind them for the entirety of their short-lived chase, she had slipped into the adjacent classroom when the chase had ended at the cut-off corridor, and she didn't know what to expect when she had set the fujoshi down. When the informant had stretched out his hand in a rather violent gesture, the headless fairy had been ready to intervene with her death-scythe… but then something happened which rendered her services unneeded.

The two craziest men of Ikebukuro… the two who would never, _ever_ be anything more than lifelong adversaries… shared a kiss. A tender, mouth-to-mouth affair that lasted for both an eternity and few measly seconds.

As her best friend raced away from the scene with mortification shining in his eyes…

As her best friend's enemy touched his mouth and confusedly watched the retreating figure…

And as she stood, torn between saving Erika from certain death and helping Shizuo in his time of emotional turmoil…

Celty wondered if the world was going to come to an end anytime soon.

Because seriously, that was just about as plausible a time as any for all of them to die.

* * *

_**A/N: **Well, it took them long enough to finally make some romantic contact~ Anyhow, I apologize for the slightly rambly nature of this chapter and the supposed OOC actions that the crazy duo did... but all will be explained soon. By the way, I'm considering upping the rating to M later on thanks to a few things that I have in mind (which do not constitute descriptive gore, but description of another sort) so if anyone has protests, speak now or forever hold your peace- but otherwise, it shall go ahead~~_


	14. Far-Fetched Thoughts

**Chapter Fourteen: Far-Fetched Thoughts**

For the first time in the past few days, Shizuo was actually glad for the inherent speed that the flea's disgustingly scrawny body came with- because all he wanted to do right now was run, and run, and never, ever stop. He didn't know what had possessed him to do… whatever it was he'd just done, but the odd feelings that had welled up in his- or technically, the louse's- heart was nothing short of unbelievable. If he could, he'd probably erase that one mistaken action… but he couldn't. As much as people wanted to call him a monster, he did not possess the unearthly ability to alter time.

If he did, though, he would probably be erasing that… intimate… moment that he'd just had.

Spitting in disgust, both at his actions and at the faint stain of nicotine in his mouth (since he'd become the shitty little bastard, there had been no usual cravings for a smoke- on the contrary, he had begun to hate the tiny sticks with a passion), the ravenette barrelled down the empty corridors. Despite his urge to stop and throw himself against a wall to ease the dull pain in his head, he didn't feel like lapsing back into some sort of coma again; after all, he liked being hale and hearty, or as healthy as the flea could possibly be. With his head spinning and his body screaming at him to stop, the tired male finally stopped at a room labelled 'Class 1-A' before slouching inside and slumping at the teacher's desk.

Sighing as he rested his head on one delicate-looking palm, the young adult sadly surveyed the room as he recalled the troubled past that he had with this school. He had remembered being perfectly at ease in his class, with his current employer, his senpai Tom Tanaka, helping him with control issues and anger management, and his high-school life was set to be peaceful… until the flea had intruded.

Shattering the carefully-constructed image that he had labelled himself with, the future informant had set his blood boiling like no other person had (or, probably, ever will have) done with his stupid little smirk and his high-and-mighty attitude, and everything that his deceptive name had stood for had been thrown out the window, in more than just a literal sense.

The rest of his life had been pure misery and, as much as he hated to admit it, pure adrenaline; his days were ruined and heightened by the appearance of his prey and he would lose everything and yet nothing by destroying everything that lay in his path. The exhilaration he felt by chasing him paled all others in comparison, yet the guilt and remorse he felt afterwards made his blood run so very cold. To put it simply, the flea's existence was a bane upon his soul.

And now, by acting upon his instincts like the animal that he knew he was, he had severed the very tenuous relationship that he had with the guy. Not that it was ever a 'relationship' to begin with.

It had been so very easy before for him to pass off his lingering attention as nothing more than single-minded hatred to his sworn enemy; now, all he could do was cringe at the thought of the louse. Before, all he needed was to catch sight of the little prick and all his thoughts would fly out the proverbial window for pure, mind-numbing rage to surge forth; now, the mere thought of him was more than enough to make his head ache with thoughts. It had all been so simple before, but now it was more complicated than ever.

As the depressed man lifted his crimson orbs up to the afternoon sun, he wondered…

…what wrong had he committed to make his life this fucking miserable?

* * *

Digging through the monster's large body for two particular items, Izaya was quite happy to find that, deep inside some forgotten back pocket in the protozoan's trousers, there were still a few cigarettes and a lighter. Even though he hated smoking, all his nicotine-addicted body wanted was to inhale a deep and cloying lungful of the cancer sticks that Shizu-chan was so fond of. Whether it was from his current body's addiction to the drug, or whether it was his unconscious remembrance of the times he'd seen the debt collector smoking, it was with a strange sort of ease that he managed to light up a cigarette and bring it to his lips in a soft drag.

Despite his mental urge to throw up and cleanse his lungs at the bitter taste coiling in his mouth and sliding down his throat, Izaya's body seemed to accept the smoke and calm itself down, regardless of his personal disgust for it. Allowing himself to settle down into a slow and comfortable rhythm with his inhalations and exhalations, the informant let his mind wander as his eyes lazily followed the smoke curling into the air around him. Even if his primary reason for smoking was to feed the addiction the protozoan's body had gotten itself into, the informant knew that he had chosen to indulge in his body's whims for a completely different reason.

To put it simply, he needed to get rid of the taste in his mouth from its previous activity.

Although the tall man slouched against the hallway's wall was accustomed to acts of affection with his humans, he had only done more intimate things, like kissing, in the throes of his adolescence, when he was a little less obsessed with humans and a little more obsessed with general knowledge. Whenever he had engaged in these activities, all he'd ever felt was disgust for the actions that he had just engaged in, and this time was no different… except that, underneath all that disgust, the informant had felt a granule of enjoyment.

Izaya could easily admit that he was narcissistic- he described himself as above all humans and as a god, after all- but he could not as easily admit that he had felt enjoyment from the taste of his own body alone. Sure, he had to admit that the light taste that his mouth naturally had was much better than the bitter-sweet taste in the monster's mouth, but the underlying hint of Shizu-chan's cake certainly gave him more satisfaction than he cared to admit. What was worse, though, was the odd palpitation that his- or rather, the former bartender's- heart gave at the lucid determination that he had sensed behind those narrow crimson eyes.

Really, it was unfair how _human_ the Neanderthal was turning… and without his permission, too.

The sense of control that he had over his own situation was unsavoury at the very least and downright stifling at the very most. The sense of humanity that he was getting from the only person that he could not love with the rest of the human population, though… it was confusing to his senses, and Izaya did not relish confusion of any type. Especially when it originated from Shizu-chan.

Puffing out another lungful of smoke as his gaze shifted from a lazy one to a wistful one, the fake blonde glanced disinterestedly at the headless rider as she came into his field of vision, and with a wry smile, he watched as she raced down the hallway, no doubt to find the troublesome little protozoan. As he shook his head at the sight and wondered, very briefly, why nobody was bothering to enquire after his health, the formally-dressed male reasoned that there was no need, seeing as he was the all-powerful Shinjuku informant.

And besides, pity was for the weak, and comfort was for humans, not for gods like him…

* * *

Prodding the bleeding female gently with a shadow-clad boot before giving up the fujoshi as a lost cause, the supernatural creature known as Celty mentally sighed at the lack of response from the downed individual, before resolving to go help her troubled best friend instead. Erika was perfectly fine with fending for herself anyhow, and Izaya was definitely not going to appreciate her concerned ministrations at any rate, so the best place she could be was with Shizuo. Making sure that the otaku was in a more stable condition and checking to see that the informant wasn't doing something life-threatening to himself, she turned away from her current companions before attempting to scour the school for her friend.

Drawing out her PDA and tapping off a series of messages to her beloved back at their luxurious apartment, Celty quickly updated Shinra on the results of their 'experiment' before hurriedly firing off her visual evidence to the underground doctor (and former classmate of the two individuals in question). As she tucked her device back into the folds of her shadow and followed the faint aura that Shizuo's conscience exuded, it didn't take too long for the headless fairy to find the ravenette, but she didn't immediately rush to comfort him, as she longed to do. If she did that, the confused man would probably become angered at her for the first time since their friendship, and as childish as it seemed, the legendary rider didn't want that.

As hard as it was to wait for him to notice her presence at the classroom door, the Dullahan did it anyway.

Finally rewarded for her patience when crimson eyes hazily drifted over to her dark form, she acknowledged the tired grunt that the other gave before daring to venture closer to him. Gauging that it was indeed safe for her to approach the slumped figure without too much fear of angering him, the courier gingerly drew up a chair and sat down beside her best friend, before waiting for the other to speak to her. A long and slightly uncomfortable silence passed between them, but once again, Celty's endurance persevered when Shizuo sighed sadly and muttered:

"What have I done to deserve all this, huh?"

{…?}

"Ah, right, sorry for not explaining myself. You know, I remember the flea talking about 'karma' and all that shit whenever I damage property, and right now, I wonder if it's true. 'Cause I've done quite a few bad things in my life and maybe it's just coming to bite me back…"

{Shizuo, nobody deserves bad luck or anything negative that they get-}

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I just can't help but wonder. Like, what did I ever do to deserve this fate? And what reason is there for this, if there's any reason at all?"

{I wish I knew… well, all of us do, really…}

"Yeah, I guess… but you didn't come to talk about all this fate shit with me, did you?"

{…}

"Hah, I expected someone to come talk to me about that… that _thing _that I did with the flea"

{…}

"I wish I knew what I was thinking when I did that. You know, I don't even think I was thinking at that point. All my thoughts, they've been so fucked up since I've become that shitty little bastard, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore…"

{Well, hopefully Shinra will get you back to normal soon}

"That doctor could probably do it, 'cause if he can't then nobody can. But maybe… maybe he might be able to give me a brain too. Then that louse can't just call me 'single-celled' or whatever and then maybe I could think a little more too. Ah, if only…"

{Just know that I'm always here for you if you need anything, okay?}

"Hey, thanks Celty, you're a great friend…"

Not entirely convinced that he had said everything that he wanted to say, but considerate enough to allow him to say it at his own pace, the shadowy figure patted the ravenette reassuringly on the back before leaning back in her chair. As the two friends sat in the comforting peace that had crept up on them, the two thought about their own circumstances, strengthened by the warmth that they could feel emanating from the other. While she let her thoughts wander, Celty immediately wished that she had a head right now.

Then she'd be able to smile and express her happiness at having known such wonderful beings…

* * *

Far away from the emotional turmoil occurring at his former high school, and resting comfortably in the office chair located in his apartment, the underground doctor reviewed the information that he'd received from his beloved.

Despite the threats that his dear Dullahan had probably received about disclosing what she had told him, Shinra was glad that he'd been able to get his hands on this information. Although Erika could be a very scary person when defied, he was willing to take on her wrath because his friends' whole lives were at stake- not literally, of course, but it was still on the same sort of scale. Glancing through the footage that his concealed cameras had been able to detect of the action, he was intrigued by what he saw so far. His predictions had not accommodated what he saw and heard, but at least they allowed him to have a clearer understanding of the situation.

He had not predicted that varying degrees of affection or familiarity would trigger an unconscious switch back to some sense of normality for the troublesome duo, but that was exactly what he was witnessing. If he wasn't wrong, the fortissimo of Ikebukuro had adopted some annoying mannerisms from his mortal enemy, and the slippery informant had adopted the violent tendencies that _his_ foe had previously harboured. Of course, he didn't have a rational explanation as to how this was possible, but then again, nothing about this was rational.

Sighing deeply to himself as he examined the parallels that each confused individual had been able to create thanks to their deepened hate for each other, the slightly crazed scientist was particularly interested in the anomalies that had appeared just as Shizuo and Izaya had shared in their little 'moment'. As the ravenette had reversed their positions, it seemed as if Shizuo had regained his physical prowess thanks to his affectionate action for the other. While he took notes on all the strange things that were happening to his former classmates, the underground doctor could only come to one very intriguing conclusion about their actions.

The more that they hated one another, the more opposing characteristics that they adopted…

And the more they liked each other, the more their natural selves manifested in them…

* * *

_**A/N: **Ah, this was just a bit of an introspective chapter, explaining the turmoil of Shizuo's and Izaya's souls~ (and once again, I have decided to add in some random discoveries at the end). At this point in time, there isn't anyone against anything M-rated in this story so I might try my hand at some... activity... later on. In any case, please continue reviewing and reading as well~  
By the way, if sakuki-yuu is reading this little comment then I'd just like to thank you for all those wonderful reviews that you've given me. I don't really understand Spanish so I've had to translate the comments you've given me, and I've never really replied to them because I have absolutely no confidence in Google Translate, but thank you so much for boosting my morale time and time again~ Well, that's all from me for now, so... see you guys next chapter, I guess..._


	15. One Step Forward-

**Chapter Fifteen: One Step Forward…**

Celty had just begun to drift off to sleep when two things prevented her from doing so. The first thing was the strong beam of sunlight that had fallen on her relaxed form which, though not exactly blinding her, did manage to make her feel uncomfortable. The second thing was the strong vibration of her PDA as it alerted her to the new message that she'd gotten.

Shifting out of the bright light and retrieving her pulsating device from the folds of her shadow, the Dullahan glanced at the name of the receiver before she decided to spare a glance for the text; after all, she had been getting rather persistent texts from telemarketers and it was beginning to irk her a little more than most things normally did. As she opened the message and read the sparse lines that stretched across her electronic communicator, her hand began to tremble ever so slightly as the words blurred in her ethereal mind, and soon enough, the supernatural creature closed her device and leant back in her seat, shocked at the words that her friend-turned-lover had sent her.

Although she was not as intelligent as her shady boyfriend, that didn't mean that she was clueless when it came down to most things; however, what she had read threw her off completely, as she hadn't seen such a possibility before. She had definitely noticed the strange actions that her friends had shown, but she hadn't expected them to be described in such a simplistic reason- in fact, she didn't know how to describe the situation at all. Disregarding the fact that Ikebukuro was filled to the brim with all sorts of 'colourful' people and events, the headless fairy shook her helmet in disbelief at Shinra's analysis of the situation, before she regretfully realized that their short-lived peace was going to be shattered… again.

Even if she ran the risk of having a vengeful Erika to deal with, she needed to tell Shizuo and Izaya about what she now knew. They had a right to know that their hatred alienated their personalities and that their love assimilated them instead; otherwise, how else were the two mortal enemies ever going to realize that they had to put aside their differences? As much as she wished that her illegal-doctor-slash-boyfriend would come up with a magical or scientific solution to all the duo's problems, there was going to be no such thing.

As much as they didn't want to admit it, they had to help each other themselves. All she, and any other spectator for that matter, could do was aid them as best as they could. It was up to the two to right their own wrongs and solve their problems.

But at least somebody now knew a viable method to help out the two sorry individuals, so at least they were getting somewhere.

Pulling out her PDA again, this time to send a text to somebody, Celty hurriedly fired off a message to the (hopefully conscious) fujoshi to coax Izaya into coming to the courtyard again, before she took it upon herself to coax her best friend outside. Grimly noting that there wasn't all that much time left before lunch, and that her human companions would be much grouchier from the lack of food in their systems, she softly prodded the slumped ravenette beside her before texting:

{Shizuo, let's go outside and get some fresh air…}

"Urgh, fuck the world, just let me mope here dammit…"

{Shizuo, aren't you even hungry, at all?}

"Oh, so that's what the crap feeling I had in my stomach was…"

{Come on, let's go outside and get some food, okay?}

"Good idea, but I want cake, okay? After all that fucking disturbance, I really need some cake… oh, and maybe milk and candy too…"

{Sure thing~ Now come on, let's go already}

Internally smiling at the ease in which she was able to lure her best friend out of his depressed slump, and helping him outside the classroom and into the courtyard that he and his most hated foe had been destroying mere minutes (or was it hours?) ago, Celty was glad that the debt collector was a relatively easy person to deal with. As she wondered whether Erika would run into any trouble while she was attempting to get the informant to come outside, she began to realize that there might be a bit of a problem with sticking Shizuo and Izaya in such close proximity. She could worry about that later, at any rate.

Right now, her responsibility was pulling her friend together and getting him back to his usual self…

* * *

It wasn't often that Erika's fantasies came true, so in the slim instances when they did become fulfilled, the fujoshi always felt as if she was in heaven. This was the state that she'd been left in when, after a rather tense fight scene, her favourite yaoi pairing finally expressed their love for each other. Hence her extreme nosebleed and her state of delirium for the time period after the incident.

When she finally recovered from her blissful descent into near-unconsciousness, the female otaku was a little disappointed to find that she was alone in the classroom in which she and Celchi had witnessed the act of intimacy between Shizu-chan and IzaIza. However, upon recalling the intimate act, she couldn't help herself from having yet another nosebleed, and by the time she had recovered from that, her phone had begun to vibrate. Sighing slightly as she stowed her memories for later reviewal, the darkly-dressed woman took out her phone, before reading the text message that she had just received from the Dullahan.

As she pouted at being ordered around by the headless rider, Erika muttered nonsensical phrases to herself (nonsense to others, but perfectly obvious words to herself) as she exited the classroom and walked straight into a haze of smoke. Wrinkling her nose in faint distaste, she ducked her head down to avoid the cloying grey fumes, before she came face to face with a chain-smoking man wearing a bartender suit. Recovering from her shock at witnessing the self-professed 'god of Ikebukuro' stooping to the level of smoking cigarettes, she giggled a little to herself before she plopped down next to the informant.

Poking the fake blonde's cheek with an inquisitive finger, she grinned at the faintly annoyed look that swept across IzaIza's face before she chirped:

"What's on your mind, IzaIza~?"

"Ne, Karisawa, what makes you think I'll tell you~?"

"Well, aren't you rude! Anyhow, Celchi wants us to go outside and get lunch, so…"

"I'd rather stay here and think, maybe you and the courier can go and get something back for me"

"My, IzaIza, I never thought you were this lazy~ Must be all that lack of activity catching up to you~"

"Hmm, I suppose Shizu-chan helped me get plenty of exercise- by the way, Karisawa, please find a different name for the protozoan instead of my pet name for him~"

"Oho, are you being possessive of him now, IzaIza~? But I'll call him ShizuShizu instead then~"

"As if I would have any feelings other than ill will to the monster, ne~"

"And yet here you are, idling around like him and smoking his cigarettes…"

"…Karisawa, if you weren't a human I might just feel annoyed at you. Oh well, let's go then~"

"Okay, let's go~ Oh, and in return, I'll ask Celchi to get you some ootoro~~"

Making sure that there was no overpowering cloud of nicotine-stained fumes loitering around the space above her, Erika cautiously got to her feet before waiting for Izaya to snuff out his cigarette and stand up too. Skipping merrily down the corridor and allowing the formally-dressed giant behind her to follow at his own pace, the female otaku bounced into the courtyard and announced to the awaiting duo outside:

"So, what's up~?"

* * *

The more he thought about the protozoic elephant in his mind, the more Izaya wished that he'd never met the annoying anomaly that was Shizu-chan. Of course, he'd never give the other the satisfaction of knowing that, but there were just some days that he wished that the stupid monster would actually _act_ like other humans. Or, at least, pretend to- although it was definitely fun for him to provoke the other and cause him endless days of grief. However, as of right now, all the informant wanted to do was to have all his plans work for once, without the interference of the fortissimo of Ikebukuro, and just go back to his daily life of wreaking havoc in other people's lives.

Instead of being stuck inside the idiot's lanky body and having his day ruined, he should be raking in masses of money while screwing all his precious humans over.

Unconsciously emulating the former bartender's hostile mannerisms as he muttered curses under his breath, the informant stalked outside and nearly broke into a stream of profanities as the bright sunlight hit his eyes, before he noticed that he wasn't exactly alone in the courtyard. As he paled visibly at the sight of his former body and fought to keep bile from rising in his throat at the memory of what he'd… done… with the protozoan, he was slightly pleased to note, through his displays of disgust, that the other was acting in much the same manner as he was. When he finally recovered from his nausea and coolly pretended that he hadn't shown any signs of weakness, he was intrigued to find that, though Shizu-chan was definitely feeling some sort of disgust towards him (which he should, too), the ravenette also looked… conflicted.

Seriously, what was with the other's much-too-human displays?!

Allowing a growl to slide past his throat as he glared menacingly at Karisawa, he was pleased to feel her quail slightly at his palpable wrath before he felt an even more menacing aura somewhere behind him. Turning around to find that the headless rider was standing behind him and was preparing to wrap him up with her shadows again, he immediately grinned at her and proceeded to calm down for the time being, before he found himself somewhere shady and not too close to the protozoan to stand in. As he wondered at the purposes of their meeting here (because he was fully aware of the fact that the courier could've just sent them back at differing times), his attention was grabbed, along with everyone else's, when Celty pulled out her PDA and tapped something onto it:

{I'm sorry, Erika, but I sent some information to Shinra regarding your experiment-}

"When I explicitly told you _not_ to leak any information? That's mean, Celchi~"

{But thankfully, he picked up on some things that might help Shizuo and Izaya out-}

"Oh~? What might Shinra have found that might help Shizu-chan and I, hmm~?"

"I don't give a shit about what's happening here, but could someone tell me that this is all just a fucked-up dream?"

"Ah, if only that was so, you stupid protozoan~"

"WHY YOU-"

{CALM DOWN SHIZUO. And you, Izaya, _shut it_ so I can explain what's going on}

"Ooh, everyone's getting so touchy nowadays~"

"And you think it isn't your fault, you fucking flea?"

"Ne, Shizu-chan, language~"

"Hey, as much as you two lovers want to have your quarrel, I want to hear what Celchi has to say~"

"The _fuck_ Karisawa?!"

{-sigh- Just let me talk…}

"…Fine"

"Go ahead, Celchi~"

"Ne, so what's going on~?"

{Shizuo, Izaya, you two better stop fighting. Not only does it make it nearly impossible for you two to ever go back to the state that you were in before, it also makes you turn into the other-}

"Wait, so you're saying that if I get pissed at the louse then I'll turn into him? The fuck is that…"

"Oh my, that'd be horrible, ne…"

{Wait, but it's not all bad news. Turns out that, when you two kissed-}

"And made my dreams come true at the same time~!"

{Erika… ah, I give up. Anyhow, turns out that when you guys like each other, you start going back to normal, but not by much- it probably depends on how intimate you two get, so…}

By the time Izaya's mind had managed to absorb much of what Celty was saying, the informant was already reeling from his (nearly-only) friend's diagnosis about his condition. Not only did he have to cast aside his hatred for the Neanderthal, lest he morphed into him (oh, the horror of that thought!), he now had to feel some sort of… affection… for the protozoan. He could only feel any sort of love for his precious humans, though, and even at that, it was a platonic sort that allowed him to love each and every one of them equally, for all their multi-faceted existences. How could he ever… how could someone dare suggest… that he had to shift his attention to something that wasn't even part of his grand scheme for mankind?

What was the world going to…?

* * *

It was an undeniable fact that Shizuo was pretty pissed right now.

Were it not for the fact that he was the useless weakling that the flea was, the former bartender would've already torn the school's buildings into pieces, but as it was, all he really felt like doing was pinching himself, really hard, and then figuring out whether this was just a very, very long nightmare. Gritting his teeth and tuning out practically all background disturbances as he attempted to 'wake' himself up from his misery and rage, he was disappointed to find that, instead of waking up in his dark apartment, he was still standing in the middle of the courtyard with his best friend, his former classmate and the stupid shit that continued to ruin his life.

When he attempted to ask the others if he was in a dream (because he really wished he was in one right now), all he got was a shitty reply from the fucking flea, so, predictably enough, he began to rage off at him. Then that Karisawa woman and Celty had told him to shut up in none-too-subtle terms, so he kept his mouth shut and tried to pay attention to what was going on.

Somehow, his best friend was spouting on about something to do with her boyfriend, that Shinra, and his predictions as to how he and the flea could get better, so Shizuo decided to pay attention to that bit. When he was told that his hatred caused him to become more like the flea, he nodded to himself, almost as if he expected that response- of course, he didn't, but everything sort of made sense when she said that. When he was getting pissy at that louse, he felt weird, like he was acting like that stupid guy by taunting him and cutting the other with blades, and then running away for dear life while cackling to himself. So he guessed that Celty's words made sense.

For some odd reason, even the stuff she said about turning normal after liking someone was also something that made sense to him. When he'd gone and done _that_ to Izaya (calling it a 'kiss' was just too weird), he'd felt his strength return to him just as the urge to feel his former body's lips against his current ones overpowered his mind. If what Shinra and Celty were saying was right, then that meant that all he had to do was make the flea love him, and make himself love the flea. As it stood, though, he guessed he was already halfway there.

In the end, what ended up surprising him was not the thing he'd done with the flea, his best friend's odd words, or even all the shit that had been going on for the past week or so. What did surprising him, though, was what came out of his mouth as he came to his own conclusions:

"Oh, is that all? I thought it'd be something more fucked-up than that…"

* * *

_**A/N: **Ehehe, Shizuo's starting to develop into the perfect fujoshi dream that Erika has in mind... anyhow, cliffhangers are just a bad habit of mine and perhaps, one day, I'll grow out of dropping so many on people. Just out of curiosity and some sort of twisted hope, I'll use this A/N to ask if any readers, who can spare a minute of their time, can help this poor author out by completing a poll that I've created on my profile regarding the discontinuation of any of my stories... if you do happen to vote, then thank you very much for the trouble and, well, let's hope I don't discontinue this story based on the results. Until then, though, please look forward to the next chapter~_


	16. -Two Steps Back

**Chapter Sixteen: …Two Steps Back**

Perhaps he needed to get his mindset or hearing checked, or even just ease up a little on the ootoro, because Izaya was quite sure that there was now something definitely wrong with his ears or his brain, and it had something to do with Shizu-chan's protozoic words. Namely, he had just magically imagined the brute saying that _love_, the single most complicated emotion that his precious humans could ever experience, was somehow… simple. Wait, maybe it wasn't his hearing or his thinking that was wrong; maybe the protozoan finally popped out that loose screw and mentally collapsed. Not that he really had much of a functional brain to begin with.

Feeling a rather unhealthy amount of confusion and anger at the matter-of-factly tone that the stupid debt collector had spouted out that nonsense with, the information broker completely ignored the fangasming otaku next to him and the high-pitched keening that Celty's PDA was making as a result of its owner's astonished spazzing, and felt something snap inside of him. As a rather large amount of hatred seethed out of his very being and eclipsed all other emotions threatening to take over him as well, the fake blonde ground his teeth in a very familiar manner as he marched straight up to the musing idiot. Without so much as a warning, he fisted a powerful hand into the other's shirt before hoisting him straight up into the air and then glaring into the crimson depths.

Before the ravenette dangling in his hands could utter so much as a squeak of protest, Izaya threw the other straight towards a nearby wall before roaring in a very Shizu-chan-like manner:

"You think falling in love, with your enemy no less, is somehow EASY, huh, you stupid monster?!"

Gritting his teeth in rage as he saw the other simply bounce off the wall and land on his feet, he rushed blindly at the smaller male before feeling his world tilt and crash down. By the time he realized that he had just been tripped up, by the dumb protozoan no less, he faintly grasped the fact that the black-clad male standing over his figure was talking. As soon as he had cleared his head, he heard the former bartender mumbling:

"…it's better than having to stay as each other, isn't it…?"

"Yeah, and what's so _good_ about having to like each other, huh?!"

"Shut up, flea, there are worse things to do. Really, just… shut up…"

As Izaya struggled to his feet and found something wet descending onto his outstretched hand, the informant was startled to realize that the monstrosity that had only ever showed him anger and hatred… was now crying. It wasn't any of the girly heart-wrenching sobbing that wanted to make him puke and it wasn't any of the manly sort where the crying person gruffly denies his actions, but it was a… noble sort of crying. To a person like himself, who was finding it more and more irritating to realize that the Neanderthal was evolving into a human, it was purely disgusting.

Growling outright at the human display of emotion and smashing a hole into the wall behind his former body, enraged chocolate-coloured orbs bore into soulful crimson-coloured ones as the taller of the two roared out:

"AND WHAT IF I DON'T WANNA SHUT UP, SHI- mmph!"

Even as he was attempting to force the other into a submissive state, the hate-filled individual felt himself gagged and restrained, once again, by rather annoying tendrils of shadowy rope. As he glared evilly at the headless fairy holding him hostage, he rolled his eyes resignedly at the menacing aura the other was emitting, before tuning out every single word that she attempted to force him to read. Miserably noting that Shizu-chan wasn't in any supernatural bonds and that, humiliatingly enough, he was the only one being confined, he squeezed his eyes shut and, like a petulant child denied his wishes, he refused to listen to whatever they were attempting to tell him to do.

He was supposed to be the god of Ikebukuro, and the almighty in his life. There was no way that anything as debasing as this was happening to him; he could not accept it. Why was _he_ the one acting like the protozoan anyway, while Shizu-chan was just standing calmly around? When they set him free, and when he was back in control…

…He was going to do things and solve his own issues his own way, everyone else be damned…

* * *

To put things mildly, Erika was starting to regret her involvement with the trio before her.

Actually, she had been quite fine with meddling with ShizuShizu and IzaIza because she had been certain that her plans would work- perhaps not completely certain, but relatively certain in any case. Even though her plan and the people involved with it were highly unorthodox and had caused even _herself_ to harbour some worry towards the fulfilment of her ultimate pairing, she hadn't been all that concerned (unlike a certain flustered Dullahan). Well, she hadn't been all that concerned… until ShizuShizu had decided to act like his usual unpredictable self.

Although it annoyed her slightly to see that the two lifelong enemies never bothered to get along- but then again, they were supposed to hate each other's guts, so it made sense for them to show such animosity to each other- she hadn't been able to predict the depth of their hatred. To put it more specifically, she hadn't been able to gauge exactly how much IzaIza disliked his 'Shizu-chan', and so it had startled her rather horribly when she finally realized exactly why ShizuShizu always referred to the other as 'bastard'. She had never seen the information broker lose his temper before, but that just proved the extent of her cluelessness when it came to the two- if she ever managed to recover from this and get them back to their original states, then she was going to have to do some serious research into them.

In any case, she had been blown away by the murderous intent that was literally _dripping_ from the fake blonde in the deafening silence following the ravenette's startlingly simplistic analysis of the situation. The fact that the debt collector had been accepting of the situation was confounding in itself; if anything, the female otaku had been betting on ShizuShizu to be the first to blow up. Of course, she had also pegged IzaIza to be the more rational of the two, but then she'd forgotten about the things that Celchi had just said and all that stuff about personalities. Sometimes, technicalities were just too much of a burden to her (hence the ease in which she could ramble on about impossible pairings), but right now, she really wished that she understood what was going on.

If she did, then perhaps she wouldn't be merely observing the others' intense fighting.

All the action had been a blur to her- despite her familiarity with physical and verbal fights, nothing she had ever seen prepared her for the ferocity and sheer _force_ that she could feel from the two lifelong rivals. There had been flurries of violence punctuated with disconcerting periods of pseudo-peace, and all she had been able to catch from thereon in were two things. They hit her at about the same time and were equally surprising and unsurprising in their own way.

The first thing the fujoshi realized was that IzaIza was going to be the largest hurdle to overcome if there was any chance of the two reconciling.

The second was that ShizuShizu was probably going to be the catalyst that would either make or break the plan to get them back to normal.

Just as these thoughts whirled through her head, the darkly-clad female was startled (not for the first time, and definitely not for the last) when she perceived the loneliness of her relative position in regards to everyone else. Sighing softly to herself and willing her confusion away for the time being as she wandered over to where Celchi, ShizuShizu and IzaIza were situated, she stood a little apart from the trio as they attempted to sort things out. As they seemed to reach some sort of agreement that went along the lines of another temporary peace stance, she quirked up an eyebrow slightly as the headless fairy approached her.

Like most people, Erika disliked being left out of information, so the quick tapping the Dullahan was doing as she slowly approached her brightened her up a little. Maybe, just maybe, it seemed as if she would be told something important without any sort of interference on her own part.

This time, instead of rushing headlong into the situation, she could actually be of some help…

* * *

If Celty wasn't already used to the idiotic antics of her best friend and his worst enemy, then she would've already been dead from anger. Technically speaking, though, she was already dead, so maybe she would be… unconscious? paralysed? She wasn't too sure and she sure didn't care about what she would be like, but one thing she knew was that her life wasn't going to get easier anytime soon. If only she hadn't been careless enough to have her head stolen from her all those years ago, and then be forced into this crazy city with its insane inhabitants… but it was too late for wishful thinking of any sort.

Especially when she was the only thing standing between Shizuo and Izaya.

When she had been at the end of her complicated explanation of the duo's situation, courtesy of her boyfriend's insightful observations, she had been surprised by the casual comment that the smaller male had tossed carelessly at them. The new few seconds had gone by in a crazy blur of raging, fighting and (oddly enough) crying, and by the time she had control over the situation at hand, the debt collector was in tears- a sight she had never seen before during the time she'd spent with him- and the informant was in a full-blown rage that she could barely suppress- again, a sight that she had never beheld before. It only confirmed the negative apprehension that she had about the whole 'make Izaya and Shizuo fall in love' plan that Shinra had been rattling on about.

Thickening the shadowy bonds that were barely restraining the aggravated information broker on her right, the headless fairy turned her helmet to the left and observed the solemnly melancholic face of her best friend. If it weren't for the fact that she didn't have a head, let alone a face, she would probably be showing a very flustered/confused face, but as it was, she could scarcely hold back the urge to flail her arms. In any case, even as tears continued to make their way steadily down the ravenette's face and blood suffused the fake blonde's furious visage, she pulled out her PDA and rapidly wrote out:

{Izaya, calm down or I'll knock you out!-}

"MMPH! Hrngrrmmph!" (LET ME GO! You're going to wish you were dead once I'm done with you!)

{Ah… I didn't even understand what you said. Shizuo, um… are you alright?}

"Grrrhmph…" (This really sucks, ne…)

"Ah, I'm fine, I guess… thanks, Celty…"

{Here, maybe you should have this. Try cheering up a little, okay?}

"Thanks… I'm sorry for my actions… Ah, this is so shitty…"

Concernedly watching the former bartender as he took her proffered handkerchief and wiped his face steadily, she pretended not to notice the slight trembling in the other's hands as she silently warned Izaya to behave himself. Patting the crying ravenette beside her, she walked past the two lifelong enemies and approached the confused figure of the ignored female otaku, before she quickly offered:

{Erika, perhaps we should switch tactics and come up with something else for later. For now, though, let's go get some lunch and leave the two to sort out their problems. Maybe you could bug their room and keep an eye on them after we've left them to reconcile with their thoughts, but until then, I think we should just stop here for now… what do you say?}

"Eh, you come up with such good solutions, Celchi~"

{This isn't the time for this…}

"I guess so, but I'm amazed with the way you managed to deal with IzaIza and ShizuShizu, you know~ Anyways, your idea's fine with me, but let's go get some lunch first up, okay~?"

{Thanks, Erika. Let's go before Izaya and Shizuo try to get at each other again…}

With an inward sigh and a slight shake of her helmet, Celty tucked her PDA back into the folds of her shadows and approached the trussed-up information broker, and after realizing that he seemed to be calm for the time being, she rid him of his restraints and silently threatened him to keep himself in check. After making sure that Shizuo was feeling better and that Erika had removed all traces of their presence inside the school, the quartet made their way to the Dullahan's Coiste-Bodhar and its accompanying carriage, before everyone but herself piled inside.

As she patted Shooter affectionately on his nape and instructed him to a non-descript restaurant outside of Ikebukuro, she wondered whether everything was going to turn out alright in the end. Right now, she wasn't sure whether anything was going to work out… but all she could do was have a little faith in the two males seated behind her. After all, the only thing she could do was hope for the resolution of all this craziness…

* * *

He crossed his arms and stared stubbornly out the window, refusing to meet the accusatory glare of the flea opposite him or the cautious glances of Kadota's friend. He really needed to mull over all the events of the day and sort things out, but the fact that he was foreigner to any kind of deep thinking was starting to irk Shizuo a little more than he cared to admit. If it wasn't for the offer of food from his friend, or his own unwillingness to be left alone with the louse, then he would be back in that hotel room and be locked up in the bathroom.

As a person who normally showed emotions such as rage, annoyance and deep-seated hatred, it was odd for the former bartender to show such sentiments like peace and joy- which he was capable of, not that anyone really knew that- and it had been forever since he'd allowed sadness to get to him. Yet, mere minutes ago, he had been crying like a little kid… and the most infuriating thing was that he didn't even know _why_ salty drops of liquid had been coursing down his eyes. Maybe the flea's stupid crimson eyes were weak or they had some dust in them; perhaps he'd have to go to that underground doctor and have the louse's stupid eyes checked soon.

Growling under his breath and lightly blushing in mortification as he heard a reedy whimper emerge from his throat, he ignored the sardonic quirk of the fake blonde's eyebrow and the muted giggle of the female otaku and continued to stare out the window. As he stared absently at the sky above and continued his persistent refusal to acknowledge the silent people inside the carriage (as well as the incredulous passerbys outside), he began to wonder about a great many things. Other than the usual irrelevant thoughts, like whether he would be able to get dessert after lunch and when he should take a shower later on, a few important thoughts regarding his stance with the flea weaved in and out of his thoughts, to the point that he soon became frustrated from overthinking.

With an agitated grind of his teeth and an annoyed narrowing of his eyes, the fortissimo of Ikebukuro lowered his head into his lap and briefly despaired at the raven locks tangling into his all-too-pale hands, before he moaned inwardly and planted his face straight into his arms. Continuing to stay inside his personal world as he desperately shifted through his emotions and thoughts. By the time he was forced to move out of Celty's carriage and get some lunch, he still hadn't been able to figure out anything, other than one single fact.

The only constant in his mind was the uncertainty overwhelming him…

* * *

_**A/N: **So I've finally taken on a few Beta projects and then realized that it takes much more time to write chapters for stories, edit other stories and still have a limited offline life than it did before. For this reason, I might be updating slower... but I'll try my best to continue updating at the same rate that I attempt to keep it at. Until then, though, thanks for reading this chapter and I hope people will look forward to the next chapter~_


	17. Eat, Pray, Muse

**Chapter Seventeen: Eat, Pray, Muse**

For the first time in his life, neither the fragrant aroma of the ootoro in his hand nor the temptation of annoying Shizu-chan in order to watch him lose his temper was of any appeal to Izaya. Instead of doing the things that he would usually do, like smirking dangerously close to his monster's face to get some sort of satisfying reaction, or delicately nibbling on the delectable fish in his hands while praising its tastes to whoever was nearby, he was merely glaring morosely at his plate. If he wasn't in a completely foreign restaurant and far from any sort of civilisation that knew about him, then the eatery would be filled with frightened patrons, due to the startling similarities that existed between him and the protozoan that he professed his hatred for.

Of course, he was unaware of the horrific resemblance he had to the Neanderthal thanks to his full immersion in his depressive thoughts. Instead of the usual devious daydreams that he had with regards to messing with countless human lives, all he could think about was the ravenette currently sitting across from him, and he hated that fact. It was unfair how the ingrate could easily ruin all his plans and throw him into a state of pure confusion, and this time was no exception; despite his sadness at not being able to enjoy his favourite meal at all, the fake blonde couldn't help his constant thoughts circulating about his relationship with the dumb brute.

After all… what _was_ the relationship he had with Shizu-chan now?

If some foolish human had asked him that question before this whole body-switching incident had occurred, then the information broker would've gladly exclaimed his undying hate for the monstrous non-human that continuously thwarted his plans. Ever since the fateful day when he'd met the short-tempered giant, he'd been able to force the protozoic monster into countless situations where, under normal circumstances, most people would follow his orders to the letter. Unfortunately, the devolved amoeba would do nothing of the sort; when he'd expected one thing to happen, the dumb brute did something else, and when he wanted the other to say something that most normal people would say, he would go off on a completely different tangent. In short, he was an infuriating idiot.

But now that he was forced to get along with the former bartender, he had to admit that, sadly, the other was all too human. He'd had the honour of seeing Shizu-chan slumbering, and no matter how many times he told himself that he didn't cut the other's face because he didn't want to damage his own body, he couldn't help but notice the strangely normal repose that the monster indulged in. Whenever he'd gone and annoyed his archenemy out of pure spite, there were some times that, funnily enough, the Neanderthal would react perfectly to his taunts and it frightened the information broker to no end when he realized that he could predict the other's movements better now. Of course, he wouldn't admit that under any sort of threats, but still…

No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't define his definitive connection to the protozoan.  
Were they enemies? Not particularly, because they managed to get along without murdering each other throughout the time they spent with each other.  
Were they friends? Definitely not, since they were certainly uncomfortable in each other's presence and it made him gag mentally to think of being 'buddies' with him.  
Were they acquaintances? Of course not, because they knew too much about each other to be classified in such a platonically mundane manner.  
So then, what exactly were they? For once, he couldn't answer that question.

Frustrated by this vein of thought, and intent on keeping his disgruntled manner to himself just in case any of his three companions gained some sort of satisfaction for his unsettled nature, Izaya made an effort to pick at his food and chose to ignore the odd glance he could sense from the otaku woman next to him. Chewing thoughtfully on his food and swallowing the ootoro without registering the smooth texture or heavenly taste of it, he sighed out loud before dropping the half-eaten morsel.

He was getting sick and tired of all this, and all the informant wanted to do was have his life back to normal, rush back to his wonderful Shinjuku apartment, and bounce around on his majestic king-sized bed. Even if that was a childish wish that was unfitting for a god-like figure like himself, he was done with the farcical prank that whatever supernatural existence had forced so cruelly onto him. Right now, if he found out that the only way to return to normal was to cosy up with Shizu-chan, then he would actually do it.

Such was the desperation that Izaya felt at his crazy situation…

* * *

Unlike the highly Shizuo-like pessimism that the person diagonally opposite her felt, Celty was feeling uncharacteristically happy as she glanced amusedly at the trio that she was treating to lunch. Well, if one could consider someone without facial expressions or eyes to be able to 'glance amusedly' at people.

Despite the awkwardness that the headless fairy was placed in thanks to her inability to take off her helmet (lest she caused a commotion in the restaurant), let alone ingest anything related to food, the famed Black Motorcyclist was adamant on sitting with the rest of her companions as they partook in their lunch. Even though it would've been more comfortable for her to stand outside with Shooter- who had been mercifully transformed back to his disguise as a motorcycle- and wait for her friends to finish their eating, she wanted to stay with them and observe their mannerisms… even if it meant having to endure the curious stares that the patrons in the eatery subjected her to. Since she hadn't ever been in this part of town, the people were unfamiliar with her and thus they were more open in their curiosity of her oddness than the Ikebukurans she'd been living with for 20-odd years.

Even if she couldn't quite eat or, in fact, do anything that a normal person would do in a restaurant, the supernatural fairy was keeping herself amused with an engaging conversation with the fujoshi seated opposite her. Unlike the silent characters seated beside her and diagonally opposite her, Erika was eager to lighten the mood and thus, disregarding the oddness that other eaters might feel at the seemingly one-sided conversation going on, Celty and her fellow anime enthusiast discussed meaningless topics to try bring some life to their table.

"What sort of Devil Fruit would you get if you could lay your hands on them, Celchi~?"

{I'm not sure… I'd probably take the Dark-Dark Fruit, since it suits my current circumstances…}

"Eh, that's so unoriginal~! If it were me, I'd probably get the Clone-Clone Fruit or the Door-Door Fruit!"

{…Please don't tell me your reasons…}

"But of course, you'll know that I'll be using them to fulfil my wonderful dreams~!"

{Erika… you and your fantasies… -sigh-}

"Awh, you're no fun Celchi… come on, wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to make _two_ of yourself or have portals leading to _anywhere_?!"

{There's no arguing with your weird logic…}

As their light-hearted banter on meaningless topics stretched playfully across the otherwise-tense silence that the two males at the table were threatening to impose, Celty snuck a glance at her best friend and his enemy, and was nowhere near happy with the depression oozing out of the duo. Not only was Izaya poking morosely at his ootoro like they were poisoned scraps of garbage that some unfortunate person had forced him to eat, the devious informant wasn't even attempting to wreak any sort of havoc, which was completely uncharacteristic for the so-called God of Ikebukuro. Her best friend was no better; instead of devouring the turtle soup that he had begged her to let him eat a few weeks ago, he wasn't even touching the long-awaited treat, instead choosing to stare sadly at the forkful of strawberry cake trembling precariously in his hand.

Her attention gradually drifted from the long-winded rant about the compatibility of certain male anime characters that Erika had somehow ended up bringing up and she begun to sink into the depression that her two other companions had brought about. However, before she could become completely immersed in the pessimism that threatened to drown her, a sudden realization made the headless fairy's shoulders shake in silent amusement. While Erika cut herself off and raised an eyebrow at the amusement radiating from her conversation 'partner', the Dullahan took a while to compose herself before her shaking PDA displayed:

{L-Look how s-s-silly Izaya a-and Shizuo l-look! T-They're like p-p-puppies!}

When her words sunk in and the female otaku burst into a long fit of guffawing at the sad faces that the antagonistic duo had, both males were pulled out of their misery for a short while as they attempted to figure out the reasoning behind the females' amusement. While Celty attempted to stop laughing, only to continue at the evident confusion in Shizuo's and Izaya's countenances, she momentarily forgot about the gravity of her friends' situations as she indulged in a bit of humour at their expense. She didn't mean to laugh at them, but they just looked so adorable.

And as much as she didn't want to admit it, her laughter helped to ease the inexplicable aching she felt for the two males…

* * *

Now that he's stopped to think about it, Shizuo realized that eating turtles was somewhat cruel. Although he'd been completely intrigued at the pleasant aroma wafting from the kitchen of Russia Sushi, he hadn't really thought about the consequences of his actions (as always) when he'd asked Simon what the smell was, and then whether he could eat it next time. He grimaced slightly at the recollection of his discussion with Celty about eating turtle soup, but he could hardly say anything about his conflicting desire to eat the soup and apologize to the turtle, and besides, he couldn't readily waste food when his friend was paying for it.

As his crimson eyes glazed over at the thought of killing a turtle for the fulfilment of his curiosity (which was ironic, really, since he didn't realize how many other animals he must've killed while eating for the past 24 years), the former bartender was jolted out of his depressive reverie when an obnoxious snort of laughter reached his ears. Scowling faintly at the intrusion upon his thoughts, the grumpy male turned from his thoughts and quickly rearranged his face into that of confusion as he witnessed Kadota's friend (whose name he _still_ couldn't quite remember) and Celty laughing rather unrestrainedly. Of course, he was too busy staring to notice that the flea was doing the same thing as well, but by the time his slow senses alerted him to the similarity between himself and the louse, the object of his hatred- and a few other emotions he'd rather not deal with- turned away quickly, as if they hadn't been sharing in some sort of moment.

As he growled in evident frustration at the almost-mad cackling coming from the female diagonally opposite him and went back to staring at the forkful of cake hovering near his face, the grumpy male finally decided to eat the cake before he placed his fork down with a rather loud clatter. Trying his hardest to ignore the never-ending mirth that streamed from his friend and her amused companion, the debt collector hissed under his breath and, in an attempt to dissuade himself from going into a fit, he reached for the steaming pot of turtle soup and took a hesitant spoonful of the viscous liquid.

Although his eyes stung from the spiciness and heat of the dish he'd just partaken of, Shizuo stubbornly kept his discomfort to himself, lest he gave the females at the table more cause for amusement or worse, gave the flea reasons to mouth some snide comments at him. Wondering why anyone would ever want to eat something like this, he frowned petulantly at the meal in front of him and forced himself to eat it, before he managed to consume the whole thing in a very slow half-hour. By the time he was done and realized that everyone at the table was waiting for him to finish, he felt his face turn red from embarrassment and grumbled an apology under his breath, before everyone made their way outside, towards the empty vehicle that Celty had kindly chartered during the time they'd spent eating in the unknown bistro.

When everyone had clambered in and the van was on its way towards his shared room with the louse, the shorter male stubbornly fixed his eyes on his hands as he felt a strange sensation rushing through his stomach. Even though he would rather die than admit that he was in slight discomfort thanks to his hurried consumption of that cake and the soup, he could feel his stomach get more and more disturbed as he willed himself not to fidget and give his uncomfortable situation away.

After all, he wasn't going to give that shitty little bastard the satisfaction of seeing him in pain…

* * *

A certain blue-eyed Raira Academy student nervously leant against a nondescript traffic light as he awaited his friends- or more specifically, friend- outside of the iconic Russia Sushi store. Although he was half an hour early for his outing with his not-exactly-secret crush, Sonohara Anri, he didn't want to leave anything to chance and thus had rushed over with too much time to spare. Hence his current and highly awkward position outside the store.

Waving at the smiling Russian attempting to invite him inside for sushi, Mikado shook his head and softly declined the offer, before something in his periphery caught his eye. Bowing to the retreating hulk and spinning around to see what had elicited his curiosity, he was a little disappointed to see that nothing out of the ordinary had appeared, despite the ideas that his overimaginative mind had.

Even so, he was sure he'd seen Shizuo and Izaya together in a car… but he was probably imagining things. Perhaps it was all those late nights that were getting to him.

That must be it…

* * *

_**A/N: **I couldn't help myself; I just had to add someone else in to the whole Shizaya secret/dilemma and speed things up (for me, anyhow). Anyways, if anyone manages to pick up on the reason for Shizuo's odd choice of turtle soup as a meal then kudos to you, especially if you didn't go search it up immediately after reading this comment, and well, do look forward to the next chapter~ After all, the intrigue and the drama (as well as the rating) will be increased...  
_


	18. Each To Their Own

**Chapter Eighteen: Each To Their Own**

The drive back to his temporary home with the flea was thankfully short, and the sprint to the elevator and back into the room was even more so, but the horrible feeling in the pit of Shizuo's stomach was becoming a problem that was growing by the second. It wasn't the sort of slow burn that he felt from eating too much or too fast, and it wasn't the dull aching that he got from a bad case of indigestion, but it was a feeling that was nonetheless familiar to him. In short, it was the bittersweet fire that he had never felt in his life, but which the flea's body was acquainted with.

To put things bluntly, he had a raging hard-on.

As a person intent on glaring daggers at his hated enemy, the fucked-up louse, during his high-school years, the debt collector had never bothered paying attention to his lessons, and thus it came to pass that he ignored the numerous Sexual Education classes that all students were doomed to sit through. For this reason, he had never learnt about (or experienced, for that matter) the wonders that were masturbation and sex, and unfortunately for him, he now had to learn it and learn it fast, or die from the increasing constriction on the blood circulation in his lower half. He had heard of doing such things before, and seen them alluded to in various moments in his life, but he could care less about his reproductive value in life, especially when he'd never had any sort of association with these sorts of things, since he'd never had any sort of person show interest of that sort in him. In actual fact, he had never given a thought to his sexual nature… until now, that was.

Under normal circumstances the dumbstruck look Izaya had on his face as he rushed towards their room and the toilet would've given Shizuo endless laughter, but now was not the time to revel in his enemy's confusion. As he frantically locked himself in the bathroom and ignored the mocking shouts that the shitty bastard was throwing his way, the former bartender slumped onto the toilet seat with a frustrated sigh. He really, really didn't want to do what he had to do, especially since he'd have to touch the flea's junk (since there was no chance of him calming himself down- he'd been trying that on the ride back)… but it didn't seem like he had a choice.

With yet another angry sigh, Shizuo unzipped the flea's too-tight jeans, closed his eyes, and slid one lithe hand onto the bulge in his damp boxers. To his everlasting embarrassment, he yelped at the unexpected pressure on his cock, and barely muffled a moan at the sheer relief that little bit of friction gave to his throbbing length. Thankfully, the muted voice on the other side of the door, as well as its owner, had probably lost interest in him at this stage and had disappeared to the depths of their shared room, so the fucking bastard in his body probably didn't hear the odd noises that he was making. If the louse had, though, the debt collector would probably die of embarrassment- that was, if he didn't die from his overwhelming disgust at his own actions.

Even though he had touched the flea's disgusting dick through his boxers, the ravenette could feel that he was nowhere near his release, in both a physical and mental sense. Feeling equal parts of revulsion and frustration as he struggled internally with the problem that was literally at hand, he ended up taking a decision that he knew he was going to regret later. Simply put, he slid his hand into his boxers and allowed one slender finger to brush the stiff organ and lift it out of its confines.

The cold air that immediately hit his throbbing member forced Shizuo to voice a choked hiss through his clenched jaw. Although the sweet relief the cold air gave him was enough to make his toes curl in the flea's woollen socks, the shame that was building up on him wasn't helping him feel any more comfortable with his situation. Unfortunately, his engorged penis wasn't going to calm down on his own so he might as well get it over and done with, before the louse barged in from outside and found him in this shitty position.

So, without further ado, he gave up on closing his eyes and, casting his disturbed gaze down onto the swollen redness in his hand, the lifelong enemy of Orihara Izaya began jacking off his selfsame enemy's organ.

Although his mind knew nothing of pleasuring himself, the flea's mind seemed to be familiar with the action because Shizuo soon found that, much to his chagrin, he was gasping quietly in pleasure at his hand's ministrations. Flicking a thumb across his leaking tip, and smearing pre-cum all over his flushed length, he continued stroking at an increasingly fast pace as he felt the air around him heat up from the warmth spreading throughout his body. As he continued to push himself to the edge of pleasure, his overwhelming release minutes later wasn't from the skilful rubbing of his hands or the lewd noises escaping his mouth, or even from the guilty thoughts about what would happen if the flea found him jacking himself off in the bathroom.

No, the long strings of white only flew forth when he suddenly imagined the flea's reaction while doing the exact same thing he was doing.

Dropping down from his first ever orgasm in record time, Shizuo gingerly sat up and shuffled to the vanity, before washing his soiled hand under the cold water flowing from the tap. As he looked up from his cleaning and beheld his dishevelled face, the so-called 'strongest man of Ikebukuro' set his flushed face into a grim scowl at the traitorous expressions that his face had been holding before.

How _dare _he feel pleasure from imagining his worst enemy in such a disgustingly gratifying act?  
What was _wrong_ with him, enjoying those fucked-up minutes while he was jacking off?  
Was he so _weak_ that he would succumb to such an embarrassingly lewd deed?

…And what was he going to do when he had to face that shitty bastard?!

* * *

Unaware of all the activity going on just a few metres away from him, Izaya loitered on his much-too-small bed as he waited for his laptop to switch on.

The informant had been mildly amused by the fast manner the stupid protozoan had scoffed down his food, but he hadn't expected the repercussions of fast eating to catch up with the brainless monster- not that it wasn't amusing to watch dear little Shizu-chan in pain. Disregarding the fact that the Neanderthal might've done something detrimental to his body, the twisted individual revelled in the discomfort of his archenemy, and was quick to follow (and taunt) the fleeing figure after he had sufficiently recovered from the rapidity of the debt collector's exit from the van. As soon as he'd gotten to their shared room he'd found the bathroom door locked and assumed the worst, and when, through his mocking jeers, he heard sighs that sounded rather suspiciously like pain, the fake blonde put two and two together and decided that even the ingrate deserved some sort of peace if he was having some sort of gastric problems.

As somebody who was familiar with abdominal pain related to food (unfortunately, most came about due to failed attempts at poisoning his meals), the information broker felt a strange sense of sympathy for his lifelong enemy. Of course, he would later reason that he only felt such a pitifully human emotion due to the sadness he felt at his body's continued torment from its digestive tract, but hopefully nobody would bother to ask him something so stupid anyhow. While his mind recoiled from feeling compassion for the monster and focused on other thoughtful topics that didn't involve his delicate situation with said non-human, his laptop proved to be a thankful distraction when it gave a soft beep and finally cycled through its warming-up processes.

Smirking lightly to himself as he went to a certain darkly-coloured website, Izaya let his hands fly rapidly over his keyboard as his fingers pressed at seemingly random keys on the electronic device. By the time his hands were still, another screen had popped up and the light smirk had morphed into a full-blown leer overflowing with impish mischief. He knew that the courier had banned him from continuing his business dealings regarding information… but he hadn't been prevented from chatting with his online 'friends'- or more specifically, the poor humans he had often manipulated during the past year.

With a dangerously playful glint making its way to his chocolate-coloured eyes, the informant clicked a few buttons and entered the Dollars chatroom he'd created all those years ago…

* * *

_**Tanaka Taro: **__I don't know… it was one of the weirdest sights I'd ever seen…  
__**Setton: **__There are many strange things that happen nowadays_

{Kanra-san has entered the chatroom}

_**Kanra: **__Good afternoon everyone~__  
__**Tanaka Taro: **__Good afternoon, Kanra  
__**Setton: **__Good afternoon…_

_ {__**PM Mode- Setton: **__Izaya, what are you doing on here?}  
{__**PM Mode- Setton: **__I thought I told you not to go online with your computer…}  
{__**PM Mode- Kanra: **__But you never said I couldn't chat now~}  
{__**PM Mode- Kanra: **__And besides, I promise not to do anything shifty~!}  
{__**PM Mode- Setton: **__I'll be keeping an eye on you…}_

_**Tanaka Taro: **__Um, where did everyone go…?  
__**Kanra: **__Ah, sorry, my computer lagged for a while~  
__**Tanaka Taro: **__That's okay, it happens to me all the time  
__**Setton: **__So what were you talking about, Tanaka Taro?  
__**Kanra: **__Oh yes, what sights did you see down in Ikebukuro~?  
__**Tanaka Taro: **__I don't know… I swear I saw Izaya and Shizuo together in a van…  
__**Kanra: **__Hmm~? I heard that those two haven't been seen for more than a week now!  
__**Kanra: **__Some people say that they've probably killed each other somewhere, you know~  
__**Setton: **__Morbid as always, I see  
__**Tanaka Taro: **__I'm sure that's not true! It couldn't be…_

_ {__**PM Mode- Tanaka Taro: **__Izaya, what are you talking about?}  
{__**PM Mode- Kanra: **__Are you trying to get information out of me, are you~?}  
{__**PM Mode- Kanra: **__You should know that an informant never reveals details~}  
{__**PM Mode- Tanaka Taro: **__Were you really in a van with Shizuo, though?}  
{__**PM Mode- Kanra: **__Oh, and why would I tell you tell that~?}_

_**Kanra: **__Ah, something's come up so I should go now~  
__**Kanra: **__I'll see you all later then~! Goodbye __  
__**Setton: **__Goodbye Kanra  
__**Tanaka Taro: **__Ah, wait-!_

{Kanra-san has left the chatroom}

_**Setton: **__I wonder why he had to go  
__**Tanaka Taro: **__Ah, me too… though I should also go now…_

* * *

Logging out of the chatroom and exiting his internet browser, Izaya sighed tiredly to himself before shutting down his laptop. Although he was slightly troubled by the fact that the headless rider now knew he accessed the chat site, he was more concerned by what Tanaka Taro (or more specifically, the Dollars leader, Ryuugamine Mikado) had said about seeing Shizu-chan and he in that van earlier. Even though that van had tinted windows and he was sure that they had taken care not to make themselves conspicuous, there was always an unknown factor involved. Usually, he would have that unknown factor covered… but unfortunately, this was not the case in this particular instance.

There was a loose end, and the informant had to patch it up as soon as possible.

As the long-limbed male scowled to himself and tucked his laptop somewhere safe in the room, so that the protozoan might not stumble onto it by accident and do something brutish like smash it up, he felt his scowl deepen momentarily when a weird twinge went through his heart. Clutching the offending part of his chest and unconsciously growling to himself, he wondered why that stupid Shizu-chan was taking so long to take care of whatever stomach indigestion problems he had, before he realized that, actually, it would be fine if the monster stayed longer inside. For one, he didn't want to talk to the ingrate anyway, and for another, it wasn't as if he craved any company.

With a sigh, the fake blonde sank into an armchair and glared morosely out at the world through his hotel room window. He was tired of his condition and wished for his normal life back, but alas, he was stuck here, with a protozoic idiot for company. His life was pretty much at its worst, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Besides, what could possibly be worse than this…?

"Um… Mikado, is everything alright?"

The blue-eyed teenager barely heard his companion's concerned question as his unfocused stare drifted around the restaurant that they were in. Although he had arranged to meet up with his not-so-secret crush, Sonohara Anri, for lunch at Russia Sushi and had planned the event a month in advance, Mikado couldn't have felt any more disinterested in the current situation as he felt right now. Even though, under normal circumstances, his attention would be entirely fixed on the brown-eyed girl opposite him, all his thoughts were concentrated on a radically different subject.

It took a few repetitions of his friend's query before the small ravenette finally realized that he was being addressed, but by the time he'd vaguely responded that everything was fine, he had already lapsed back into his lackadaisical state. His thoughts were clouded by the online conversation he'd previously had with his two correspondences and, in particular, the private chat he'd had with Kanra, otherwise known as Orihara Izaya. Although there was something akin to suspicious doubt in his mind about the informant's slippery evasion of his questions, he couldn't think of a valid reason as to why his fellow Dollars member would lie to him, and so, with a quiet huff, he let his thoughts go for the time being.

As he apologized to his long-suffering companion and began to engage in polite conversation with her over their sushi, the Raira Academy sophomore pushed his worries to the back of his mind as he endeavoured to act more civil to his friend. Chatting about the usual mundane things that they'd been talking about ever since the departure of their mutual friend, Kida Masaomi, he and his crush talked aimlessly and ate a surprising amount of seafood due to their long-winded conversations. Although he wanted to spend more time thinking about the strange sight he'd seen barely an hour ago, he knew that his first priority was having a good time with his friend.

After all, he could think about that Izaya/Shizuo sighting later on in the day, when he was alone…

* * *

The headless fairy leant back in her chair pensively and mused, allowing her shadows to undulate around her inert form. As she steadfastly ignored her anxious boyfriend and his repeated questions about her state of mind, her thoughts replayed the online chat over and over again, reliving the frightening moment when yet another stranger had revealed their supposed knowledge about her best friend's current condition. Not only had she been the cause of the first intrusion upon Shizuo's (and, by extension, Izaya's) secret, she had allowed the event that'd caused the potential second intrusion… what sort of bad friend did that make her?!

Internally sighing at all the catastrophic events that were spiralling out of control for her, Celty glanced to the distressed underground doctor to her right and tilted her neck stump slightly, puzzled at his wild gesticulations. Finally tuning into what he was saying, she caught the last few words of his animated ranting:

"…can't those two idiots just be like us and _love_ each other already?!"

{Calm down Shinra, you're going to get a heart attack at this rate!}

"Ah, sorry Celty, I just wished they could have our lovey-dovey life- OW! I'm sorry!- and resolve their problems so I don't need to take care of them. They've been at each other's throats for the past eight years and I'd just wish that they'd stop…"

{So were you the one that gave them that condition…?}

"Do you think I'm that selfish? Oh, my dear love, my tears flow anew; how could you ever doubt me and my intentions towards my friends?!"

{I'm sorry, it's just that it looked like something you might be capable of doing-}

"Oh, no, goodness, I could never do something so completely baffling, and to my friends no less! Ah, I'm not sure what's wrong with them, really, but I hope it'll be fixed soon so you and I can have some more time in our lives to have a wonderful life together- Oww, that hurt!"

{Please don't say such embarrassing things-}

"Only for you, my honey~"

{But I do hope they get well soon…}

* * *

_**A/N: **Ahahaha, first time I've attempted to do something smut-related that wasn't some weirdo one-shot for nothing in particular... and it's short, overly descriptive and doesn't make sense... ah well, I guess I'll have a crack at it later in the future, when I'm finally comfortable with writing such, um, intimate things. Anyhow, the rating has shifted from T to M because of that little incident (just in case) and, well, thanks for the 2000 views and please do stay tuned for the next chapter~  
[And for those that do not know, Izaya is 'Kanra', Mikado is 'Tanaka Taro' and Celty is 'Setton'... but you probably knew that anyhow]_


	19. Abundant Misunderstandings

**Chapter Nineteen: Abundant Misunderstandings**

The faint creak of the bathroom door alerted Izaya to the protozoan's re-entrance into their room and yet, despite the strong urge he suddenly had to turn around and taunt the ingrate for his toilet troubles, the informant really couldn't be bothered shifting from his comfortable position. What ended up making him move, though, was the hesitant coughing he heard from behind him- _directly_ behind him.

Attempting to stifle his shock at the sudden appearance of the ravenette, the fake blonde masked his surprise with an amused glare as he turned his head around. Plastering an irritating smirk onto his face- after all, Shizu-chan was too stupid to realize when he was faking anyway- the information broker continued to silently evaluate the other male. As he waited for the idiotic monster to stop shifting from foot to foot in an uncharacteristic display of nervousness and indecision, the taller male began to feel his patience slip further and further away, and just as he was about to give up and threaten the smaller male, he was finally rewarded with a tentative:

"D-Did you hear anything…?"

Immediately, his interest was piqued by the debt collector's evident stutter, as well as the context in which the question lay. He had never suspected the ingrate to be embarrassed by stomach troubles and the noises that it entailed, but then again, the idiot was unpredictable and anything went when it came down to the former bartender. If he didn't know any better, Izaya would've guessed that the protozoic monster knew nothing of his body's reactions towards disturbing digestive issues, but then he _did_ know better- after all, he wasn't an informant for nothing- so that probably wasn't the case.

His mind travelled back to when he'd first heard those suspicious sounds of pain in the bathroom and he unconsciously furrowed his brows with confusion; unless Shizu-chan was into self-harm then he couldn't possibly imagine why else he would make those noises. As far as he was concerned, he had never seen the stupid brute in any sort of pain- heck, he'd even taken bullets and pens head-on and then brushed them off like it was nothing- so there must be some other, _unknown_ reason for the protozoan's noises. If there was one thing he hated, it was the fact that he wasn't omniscient.

Feeling crimson eyes bore a proverbial hole into his head as he thought, Izaya resurfaced from his thoughts and smoothed his face into an all-knowing expression in the hopes of annoying the short-tempered retard. As he gained the response he wanted when a dangerous glint came into the slighter male's eyes, the informant allowed a twisted grin to worm its way onto his face as he leant closer to the disturbed male opposite him and infuriatingly chirped:

"Ne, Shizu-chan, did you _want_ me to hear something?"

Triumph spread through his system as the other gritted his teeth in an obvious display of anger, but the triumph receded into curiosity once again when the ravenette hissed:

"What's it to you, you shitty little flea?!"

"Everything, my dear monster~ That aside, though, did you have fun in the bathroom~?"

"…The _fuck_, louse?!"

"Maa maa, Shizu-chan, please watch your language every once in a while~"

"Stop dodging the question and ANSWER ME, you shitty fucker!"

"But really now, why are you so concerned by whether I heard you or not~?"

"…fuck off…"

"Oh my, might it be that the almighty fortissimo of Ikebukuro was _embarrassed_ by what he did~?"

"Right, you know what flea, forget I said anything. It's pointless getting shit outta you anyhow-"

"Dear me, do you really think I'll be your little obedient slave and obey everything you say? Of course I won't forget… not until you enlighten me, anyhow~"

"Yeah, you know what, I have no fucking clue about what you're saying so shut up and die already"

"Ne, how rude… but really, Shizu-chan, what did you expect from me~?"

"I don't know, for you to act _human_ once in a while?! It ain't that hard to answer my goddamn question, you know!"

"Re~ally now? Well, what if I don't want to answer your idiotic question, hmm~?"

"Tch, fucking arsehole…"

With amusement clearly shining in his chocolate-coloured eyes, the information broker grinned at the distressed individual opposite him as he shifted his body around and leant his chest on the chair's back. Allowing the monster he'd been trolling happily to retreat for the time being, Izaya began to shift his mind back to the scant memories he'd had of eavesdropping on the protozoan's actions. As he sorted through the memories and attempted to figure out the conundrum spinning through his mind, he wondered about the various reactions he'd gotten from the former bartender in regards to his activities in the toilet.

After all, what was so bad about stomach troubles anyway?

* * *

Instead of spending the afternoon with his fellow class representative and not-entirely-secret crush, Mikado found himself making excuses to Anri as he dropped the 'date' that he'd been planning for weeks in advance. Even though he really wanted to spend time with the reticent female and have some quality time alone with her, the issue plaguing his mind refused to leave him alone, and it was with a heavy heart that he bid his friend farewell outside the restaurant where they'd been having lunch. When he'd finally felt that the brunette was out of sight, the small ravenette turned in the opposite direction and sprinted home without a second thought.

He had to hurry up and do what he'd planned… because two lives were at stake.

From the time he'd spotted Shizuo and Izaya in a suspicious van with tinted windows to the current moment, the Dollars leader had been certain that there was something fishy going on with the two dangerous individuals. For one, they weren't fighting- as far as he knew, the two were perpetually at each other's throats- and for another, they were so far inside the van that he'd nearly missed catching sight of them. Many other reasons piled up inside the Saitama boy's mind, and soon enough, he'd reached a startling conclusion that was the most rational in his mind.

The reason for the duo's disappearance in Ikebukuro… the reason for their sudden sighting after ten days… the reason for their peaceful nature and the reason for their supposed predicament… in the teenager's vividly imaginative mind, all these reasons pointed to one thing: the two had been kidnapped, drugged, and held against their will. That probably explained the shadowy counterparts that hung around the duo and the covered face of the van's driver, and it probably explained all the worries he'd had about the lively pair of archenemies. Of course, he found it absurd that the unknown kidnappers would transport Shizuo and Izaya together, and in a suspicious vehicle during broad daylight too, but that thought didn't cast any sort of doubt on the young boy's mind.

As a responsible Dollars leader, it was his duty to save his fellow members in times of trouble, and that time… was now.

Rushing back home and powering up his laptop, the small male unconsciously clutched the strap in his hands closer to his chest- in his frantic dash back home, it was a miracle that his shoulder bag hadn't fallen off yet- and pulled the corner of his lips down in slight irritation as he willed the electronic device to perform faster. Letting his fingers dance fiercely over the keyboard and his mouse pad as he pulled up various programs and windows, he rapidly set up a new forum post, before sitting back and waiting for responses:

**Tanaka Taro~ **I thought I just saw Izaya and Shizuo together in a van…

In about five or so minutes, responses began firing up:

**Young Leaf Mark~ **I think I saw them too, but it was about two hours ago  
**MONTA~ **It's odd how they're not around; they're usually fighting daily  
**Young Leaf Mark~ **Well, I saw them coming from Raira Academy, so…  
**Tanaka Taro~ **Raira Academy…?  
**Indoor Scholar~ **You must be mistaken; I'm sure I saw them at the airport two weeks ago  
**Young Leaf Mark~ **Why would they be at the airport though?  
**Indoor Scholar~ **I only saw Izaya, but it's probably because of his job  
**MONTA~ **Oh, right, his 'information gathering' and all that  
**Maomin~ **I'm quite sure I saw Shizuo in Akihabara the other day too~  
**Tanaka Taro~ **Akihabara…?  
**Eonra~ **That's odd… they're staying at the hotel I'm working at though…  
**Young Leaf Mark~ **Eh, so they're in two places at once?  
**Tanaka Taro~ **How is that possible…?  
**Eonra~ **Well, I've been cleaning their room- they're in Sunshine 60  
**Indoor Scholar~ **Are you sure you've got the wrong people?  
**Maomin~ **How do you expect the two of them to live in the same hotel room though?!  
**Eonra~ **I saw what I saw… if you don't trust me, then meet me outside Sunshine 60 in 10 minutes  
**Tanaka Taro~ **I'm going to investigate…  
**Indoor Scholar~ **Well, so much for privacy clauses in hotels- you're probably breaching protocol by revealing information~  
**Eonra~ **…I was just trying to help Tanaka Taro, jeez…

As he reluctantly shut down the various windows he'd pulled up and powered down his laptop, Mikado racked his mind for the confusing information he'd been given online. It was strange how 'Eonra' had suddenly given everyone an ultimatum for discovering what they knew, especially when 'Indoor Scholar' and 'Maomin' had already mentioned that Izaya and Shizuo were somewhere else entirely, but for some odd reason he felt that 'Eonra' had a claim that he'd rather pursue than leave unattended to. In any case, it didn't hurt to investigate and see what came up.

Though, now that he thought about it, the Dollars leader found it incredibly strange how, of all places, the duo had been holed up in one of Ikebukuro's most famous locations for the past week…

* * *

If Celty had her head, then she would probably be showing the most ridiculous expressions as she flailed her arms at her boyfriend.

The headless fairy had thought that, after all the trouble she'd gone through in the morning, she'd be entitled to some sort of relaxation time… but that idea had flown out the proverbial window by the time her roommate had burst into her room. As she attempted to dislodge the unintelligible underground doctor from her shoulders and calm him down in some manner so she could actually understand the babble of words emitting from him, she managed to waste a fair few minutes acting out her intentions before she was mercifully clued in on what was happening.

However, by the time Shinra had finished spouting out whatever he had to say, the Dullahan could feel mild irritation consuming her shadowy form. Not only had her peaceful afternoon been irrevocably ruined by what the excited male had spewed out, her period of relaxation might probably never come at the rate that things were going. Also, from what he'd said, it was probably fairly certain that, at this point, she would also be leaving their cosy apartment and not come back until dinner-time, or thereabouts.

When she'd agreed with Shinra to keep the troublesome duo out of their apartment, she knew that it had been a mistake to tempt fate and place Shizuo and Izaya in one of the most conspicuous places possible by holing them up in Sunshine 60. Even though she had gone through all that trouble to book the room under fake names and secure various precautions to make sure that neither of the pair would incite any problems during their stay, she guessed it was too much to ask for the enemies to behave themselves. She had always known that it would be only a matter of time until Shinra would have to find someplace else for the two to stay, but she hadn't expected them to have to move them so soon- barely a day had passed since their stay, after all.

Of course, keeping the archenemies at the prestigious building was out of the question thanks to all the interference the Dollars members were causing, and by the time her panicked flailing was done it was high time for her to go out and bring the situation under control. With an inward sigh and a hurried farewell to her boyfriend, the headless fairy roared out of the apartment complex on her disguised Coiste-Bodhar, Shooter, and sped towards the famous Ikebukuran building. The trip was generally uneventful (other than the various failed attempts by passerbys to snap pictures of her in action) and by the time she'd arrived at the entrance to Sunshine 60, she was feeling a little more confident than she'd been before.

That was, until she spotted Mikado's form disappearing into an elevator.

From what Shinra- codenamed 'Indoor Scholar' on Dollars- had told her, he and 'Maomin' (who, for a fact, she knew to be Erika) had attempted to dissuade the Dollars leader from discovering the true whereabouts of Izaya and Shizuo, but they'd been thwarted by an unknown member with the handle 'Eonra'. Instead of falling for the false sightings that the underground doctor and the fujoshi had tried to feed him, he'd accepted the strange offer that the other member had put up about meeting in front of Sunshine 60 in 10 minutes' time, and it had been at this stage that she'd been sent to intervene. From what she could see, though, her intervention had come too late; he'd already met with the alleged housekeeper of the duo's room and was well on his way up.

Mentally cursing as she rushed past the frightened concierge at the reception desk, she ignored the security guards and their pathetic attempts at forcing her to stop in her tracks as she wrenched open the door to the emergency stairs. As she bounded up the dusty blocks of concrete and concentrated the brunt of her ethereal essence into her trademark scythe, she barely noticed the frightened yelps from the retreating security guards below as she flew towards her target. With the room's location clearly pictured in her mind, and with her hopes riding on the elevator breaking down or being generally slow (as those things were wont to be), the supernatural creature quickly made her way out of the emergency stairs and towards the room in question.

All she could do now was hope that everything would turn out alright…

* * *

Unaware of the commotion occurring in the city he called his home, Shizuo felt his eyebrows twitch in barely-suppressed irritation as he attempted to ignore the pinging of his mobile phone.

It had started around twenty or so minutes ago, just after he'd gone and asked the bastard about the noises he'd been making in the bathroom. Even though he knew that it was a bad idea to confront the fucker about anything regarding personal information, he had to know whether the shitty little bastard had heard his… activity. He couldn't tell whether the louse knew that he'd been jerking off in the bathroom, thanks to the stupid answer and questions he'd gotten when he'd tried to be blunt about his questioning, but he could smell the amusement radiating off the satisfied bug from the anger he felt at the flea's question-dodging. He could also see the amusement in the curve of the man's smirk and the glint in his chocolate-coloured eyes, but the ravenette really, _really_ didn't want to have any memories regarding his face and the fucker's messed-up emotions.

In any case, he'd stalked to his bed and sulkily ignored the prying eyes of the louse when, in the icy silence of the room, his phone had decided to alert him to a message. When he'd snapped open his phone and seen that the message didn't come from Kasuka- or, for that matter, from anyone he could remember- he'd grunted and deleted the message, only to have another one pop up about a minute later. He'd gone and deleted that one as well, but by the time he'd deleted about five other messages about 'Dollars forum alert' or whatever the fuck it was, he was too tired to care anymore.

He also took delight in knowing that, as much as the louse attempted to hide it, he was being pissed off by the increasingly-frequent chimes that his mobile phone was making. Of course, he was also getting really annoyed at the fact that the phone didn't feel like shutting up anytime soon, but he felt that he could endure all the mental pain if it meant that the shitty little bastard suffered too. So, as the bleeping of his device filled up the verbal gap in the room, the ravenette stared at nothing in particular and successfully ignored the flea in favour of musing on his thoughts.

That was, until a large hand grabbed his collar and lifted him into the air.

As much as he liked being manhandled by his own body, the debt collector disliked being lifted into the air like some weird-ass ragdoll, so it was only natural that crimson eyes glared furiously into infuriated chocolate-coloured eyes at the intrusion upon his thoughts. Just as he was about to come up with something that was along the lines of telling the flea that he was a fucker that should think about manhandling other little pieces of shit his own size, he was surprised by a menacing hiss of:

"Shizu-chan, if you don't want me to stomp on your phone then you'd better shut it off _now_~"

As amusement wreathed his face, the smaller male taunted back:

"Oh, is the itty bitty flea _annoyed_ by my phone? Aw, isn't that just sad-"

"Ne, Shizu-chan, do you really want to get me mad now~?"

"Does it look like I care? You could go fuck yourself down a hole and I wouldn't give two shits!"

Their verbal fight would've probably culminated at this point with him flicking the switchblade in his hands at his adversary and then being thrown across the room were it not for a loud banging that steadily approached their door. Pausing in his loud insults and snapping his head to the door, Shizuo unconsciously tightened his hold on the weapon in his hand as he felt the louse loosen the hold on his collar. He was just about to worm out of the other's slack grip and go outside to tell the bastard stomping around outside to keep it down when the stomping suddenly stopped…

…And the door was smashed open by a rather small foot.

As he and the man gripping him stared confusedly at the small boy standing at the door, they were interrupted by the abrupt convulsion of shadows behind the male. By the time a few seconds had passed, there were four people in the small room: himself, the flea, that Ryuugasaki kid, and his best friend. While they all stared at each other in varying degrees of confusion and a few other emotions, a stray thought popped up in the former bartender's mind.

_What the fuck was going on with the world?!_

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Well, I wonder what might happen to Mikado... anyhow, for those reading this little comment I've left here, I'll probably be updating this weekly instead of every three days, since I'll be bogged down with school and all that other stuff. In any case, unless you'd like to read the reference below, then please stay tuned for the next chapter~_

* * *

**[References]: **Tanaka Taro = Mikado/ Young Leaf Mark = Aoba/ MONTA = Kadota/ Maomin = Erika/ Eonra = ?


	20. Show Business

**Chapter Twenty: Show Business**

As far as Celty was concerned, her day couldn't possibly get any worse.

Instead of relaxing at home with Shinra as they watched whatever documentary or talk show the underground doctor allowed her to indulge in during their time together, the headless fairy was far from the comforts that she'd been expecting. Not only had she failed to keep the Dollars leader away from the troublesome duo in her care, she had been spotted by the male in question as she attempted to prevent him from entering. With her failures weighing heavily on her proverbial mind and with the awkward silence in the semi-isolated hotel room becoming more and more frigid by the second, she was about to fish around for her PDA to say something to alleviate the situation when she was beaten to the task.

Before she could fully comprehend what was going on, the supernatural being sensed a rather loud thud from the ground a few metres away from her form, before she found herself staring at the black-clad ravenette curled up on the floor. As she moved forward to help her fallen comrade, she was stopped in her tracks by a rather tall fake blonde, but before she could even hope to react to the informant's proximity to her, she caught a faintly whispered warning from the male:

"Ne, Celty, could you and Shizu-chan play along~? I'll explain later, when Mikado's gone…"

She wasn't given much time to digest the words before she, along with the teenage boy, were pulled into the hotel room and had the door firmly closed behind their backs. While the black motorcyclist attempted to get her bearings, she was faintly aware of the informant setting her rather dazed-looking friend onto his bed and of the Dollar leader's all-too-rigid stance, before she was pulled out from her thoughts when the formally-dressed male motioned for herself and the other uninvited guest to sit in the available chairs. As she settled down into the one by the window and as the smallest male made himself comfortable in the adjacent one, she was startled by the information broker's sudden grunt and his rough:

"Tch, why can't people just fucking _call_ if they want to visit?!"

Although her surprise wasn't evident to anyone else present in the room, the emotion that her best friend was expressing at the moment was all too clear to everyone in the confined space. However, before she could whip out her PDA and warn Shizuo to play along with Izaya's supposed 'plan', she was beaten by the selfsame male when he turned to the spluttering debt collector. With a slight chill down her spine, she watched as the fake blonde fisted his hands into the larger ravenette's V-neck and growled in a very Shizuo-like manner:

"Fucking hell, flea, are you _still_ not used to hearing me swear?! Seriously, how long are you going to stay in that shitty dream of yours, huh?!"

"U-Um, Heiwajima…"

"Oh, you're that Ryuugasaki kid, right?"

"It's Ryuugamine… and, um, what's wrong with Izaya…?"

"I'm not-"

"How many times do I have to say shut up to you, louse?! You little shit-"

{I- Shizuo, calm down…}

"Tch, fine, but you better make sure that flea doesn't do anything weird or I swear I'll rip him to pieces, and you won't be able to stop me either…"

"Um, my question still hasn't been-"

"Oi, kid, lemme put the flea somewhere else so he doesn't have to hear what I've gotta say and I'll tell you, okay? The last time I told Celty about his condition he threw a fit-"

"WHO'S THROWING A FIT, HUH?!"

"Shut _up_, louse! Gah, see what I mean? Just… ah, fuck this…"

{It's fine, I'll knock him out if you want}

"Yeah, that'd be great-"

"Say _what_?!"

"U-Um, sure thing…"

With growing confusion and a rather deep sense of uncertainty in what she was doing, the headless fairy knocked the real Shizuo out cold while Izaya, still masquerading as Shizuo for some unknown reason, grunted his approval and flashed a relieved grin. Even though she felt that whatever the informant had in mind was probably something outrageous and was definitely an impromptu plan, Celty felt that she couldn't object to whatever was going on, seeing as she didn't have anything better to offer as an alternative.

From what she could gather, the information broker was pretending to be Shizuo in an attempt to make sure that Mikado didn't learn about the violent enemies' true predicament. What he was currently offering as an alternative reason was unknown to her so far, but from what the crafty male had said, it was probably something to do with memory modifications of some sort. Of course, she wasn't quite sure whether the perceptive teenager beside her would catch onto the fact that there was something fundamentally wrong about the whole set-up, but for now all she could do was play along and hope that the Shinjuku male had something up his sleeve.

In any case, she was intrigued to see what the master liar could come up with.  
Because if anyone could successfully fool someone on the spot, it had to be Orihara Izaya.

* * *

Although Izaya had never held an acting role in his life, he was proud to say that he was a master at fooling others. Were it not for his abounding love for humans and his thirst for knowledge in regards to the strange species, he would've probably ended up as a magician or an actor, rather than retreat to the underworld as an informant. However, despite the fact that he had never had any experience impersonating anybody, let alone the protozoic Shizu-chan, the informant was easily sliding into his self-assigned role of the brute.

He had to admit that, once again, he had been surprised by the Dollars leader- he had predicted that, sometime after their little chat online, the slight male would come and find him… but he hadn't expected the other to come so soon. To his displeasure, Izaya found himself hating Mikado's nature as of late- not because his humans were supposed to be predictable and the smaller ravenette was breaking from this tradition, but because he was emulating the monster a little too much, and that was unacceptable. It had been during his silent glaring contest with the unexpected arrival that he'd realized something else which had restored his good mood, but it was only a momentary reprieve.

It was clear that Mikado had been under the impression that he and the devolved amoeba had been captured, against the will, and held hostage somewhere. It was also clear that the Saitama boy was now convinced that his pathetic theory wasn't the case, and that he expected an explanation from himself or from Shizu-chan. Unfortunately, it also seemed that the oblivious male had no idea of his enemy's true predicament… which meant that he would have to come up with a convincing lie that would adequately explain their presence in the hotel room, alleviate the nosy boy's curiosity, and manage to keep the truth completely hidden.

So it was with distaste that Izaya realized he would have to pretend to be the stupid protozoan.

Surprisingly, it was easy to make Celty play along with his impromptu plan and shut his former body up with various animalistic displays of annoyance; after all, he had never realized that it was this easy to mimic his archenemy's stupid actions. Of course, the fact that he could emulate them didn't equate to him enjoying the experience, but he couldn't deny the amusement he received from seeing the confusion radiating from the former bartender. Sadly, though, his plan would be ruined if the ingrate continued to be his idiotic self and thus ruin the impression that the two were _not_ in each other's bodies, so it was with an odd sense of regret that the information broker allowed the courier to knock the poor old monster into oblivion yet again.

To be completely honest, the Shinjuku male wasn't actually sure of what he was going to cook up as an excuse. The problem with Mikado was that he was influential and had various connections- one little slip-up from him, and the Dollars leader would immediately find out, thanks to his absolute control over the majority of the Ikebukuran population through his status as the colourless gang head. He assumed that the grey-eyed teen was gullible to a certain extent, but to what extent was still unknown; regrettably, he wasn't well-acquainted enough with the male to begin with, and the more he felt like he knew him, the more he realized that he didn't know enough.

In any case, this plan would really be the riskiest of all the scenarios he'd ever found himself in, including those near-death ones with his monstrous enemy and the various close shaves he'd had with aggravated clients. He did not care much for death, but there was something at stake here that was of much more importance than that, and he was going to attempt to preserve it at all costs.

If he ruined himself here, then his impeccable reputation as a godly figure would be permanently destroyed…

* * *

As much as Mikado hated to admit any form of weakness on his part… he was feeling _terrified_.

Under normal- or, to be more accurate, abnormal- circumstances, the Raira Academy sophomore loved thrilling misadventures that shook him out of his boring life, but this situation was a little too crazy for his liking. Not only was he stuck in a room where escape seemed absolutely impossible, he was stuck in the same room as three of the most dangerous figures in Ikebukuro, and he was in there of his own choosing. It was true that he got kicks out of living his life on the edge, but like most sane people, he preferred living on the edge when there was a safety line to hold onto.

From what he could see here, though, there was no such safety line available.

Despite the fact that the smallest (and, in his candid opinion, the most mentally unstable) figure was out for the count and that he was supposedly safe since all three of them owed allegiance to him through their mutual connections through the Dollars gang, the sole leader of the colourless group was nonetheless concerned by the situation he was in. He had mistakenly thought that he would be a heroic figure and somehow save Shizuo and Izaya from their hypothetical state of captivity, but it was becoming quite clear to him that, if worst came to worst, he would be the one that needed serious saving. With this in mind, it was a miracle that he wasn't dead or unconscious from anxiety.

That was, until the fake blonde before him sighed noisily and sat directly opposite his still form.

Now that he thought about it, Mikado was actually quite annoyed at himself for thinking that the fortissimo of Ikebukuro would need _his_ saving, especially when he was the most feared person in the whole of the bustling metropolis. At the time that he'd spotted the distinctive man and his enemy in the van, he hadn't really thought about the plausibility of his thoughts- all that he could focus on was the fact that there was something strange going on- and so he'd thrown himself headlong into the situation. Of course, he wanted to know the exact details regarding the infamous duo's week-long disappearance from society and what exactly was wrong with the unconscious informant, but at the present moment in time he would be quite glad with getting out while Shizuo was still calm.

So it was quite surprising to the smaller male when the fake blonde growled and began muttering:

"Kid, did you think the flea and I were in trouble or something?"

"U-Um, what do you mean by that, Heiwajima?"

"Tch, just call me Shizuo, Heiwajima sounds fucked up… And what do you mean, what do I mean?!"

{Shizuo, Mikado's asking whether you were actually in trouble or not}

"Hah, you think I'd be in any sorta trouble that I can't handle? That's a fucking weird thought…"

"No, that's not what I meant…"

"So spill it kid, what do you want to know?"

{Be a little nicer, Shizuo, you're scaring Mikado}

"I-I'm not scared… and I just wanted to ask why the two of you haven't been in Ikebukuro lately…"

"Hah, I haven't been around 'cause I've had to take care of the flea, and the flea hasn't been around because he's too busy trying to remember who the fuck he is-"

"Wait, why are you taking care of him a-anyway…?"

"Tch, I wish I knew…"

Completely missing the split-second glance that the debt collector threw towards the headless fairy sitting beside him, Mikado glanced nervously into his hands before he felt someone tap his shoulder. Looking up from his intertwined fingers and into the rider's PDA, he read:

{You remember how the last time anyone heard of Shizuo and Izaya was when they'd created that crater in the middle of the road?}

"O-Oh, that time! I remember that-"

"Yeah, and I wish I didn't… fucking hell…"

{Shizuo, please cut down on your language while there's a child present}

"Gah, you know what, I'll tell the fucking story then, since you're not getting on with it!"

{…suit yourself…}

"Che, here's basically what happened, okay? When I'd smashed into the flea I'd hit him right in the forehead, and Shinra said something about velocity and shit but basically I was fine after a few hours but he was in a coma for a few days. So when he woke up he didn't know who anybody was except for me, and he thought I was his friend or something because he was fucking clingy and all he would say was stuff like 'Shizu-chaaaaaan~' and all that fucking weird-ass stuff…"

"B-But that doesn't answer my question about why you need to take care of him…"

"I was getting there, okay?! Geez… well, Shinra and Celty were saying stuff like it was my fault and I was the one that got him into this fucking state and since he only recognises me he'll have to stay with me and shit like that, okay? But it wasn't my fault he was standing there and smirking into my fucking face when I flew at him-"

"There's one thing I-I don't understand though... Celty, remember how we were chatting?"

{The chat we were having today?}

"Y-Yeah, about that… wasn't Izaya there?"

"Wait, he was talking to you two?!"

{Yes he was…}

"Oh, that fucking flea's dead once he wakes up... how dare he make me look after him when he's well enough to chat to you people?! Here I was, getting shit for him and trying my hardest not to squish him flat and all he does it USE ME?!"

{Shizuo, calm down!}

"I-I'm sure he has a reason…"

"No he fucking DOESN'T! Right, all of you, leave or else I swear I'll kill all of you too!"

{Mikado, you go on first… I'll stay to make sure that nobody dies here…}

"T-Thanks… Um, I'll be going then…"

Without too much thought concerning the situation- because, really, it was obvious to any sane person that Shizuo was about to go into one of his famous rages- Mikado rapidly stood up and flew towards the door. Yanking it open and slamming it shut behind him, the teenage boy swore he felt thick waves of anger undulate over him as the floor began to shake slightly, and with a frightened squeak he threw himself into the waiting elevator and made his hasty escape out of the building. Even though he was sure that his friends would think him ridiculous for acting in such a childish manner, he had a good reason to be terrified about everything in life right now.

After all, it wasn't such a far-fetched notion for him to think that Shizuo would want to keep his mouth shut about the issue.  
And it wasn't all that much of a stretch to think that said individual would want to keep it shut _permanently_…

* * *

At the present moment in time, it would've been quite obvious to anyone that was examining Shizuo's head to see that his mind was a jumble of fucked-up thoughts.

Ever since that Ryuugamine kid had burst into the room, followed by Celty, his thoughts had become a crazy mess; not only had the flea begun to pretend to be him, his best friend had played along as well, and even the midget teenager was going along with the whole joke. Thankfully (or not so thankfully, depending on the current state of his mind), Celty had used her shadows to knock him out, but he was a little annoyed at how his conscience refused to sink into the all-too-familiar black hole that sucked him in every time his mind retreated into itself.

There were moments where his awareness had recorded whatever was going on while his body lay in its unmoving state- the louse growled in a horribly good imitation of his usual actions, the Irish fairy tapped away on her handheld device, and the midget stuttered through his many questions. He couldn't understand what was going on, of course, because his mind wasn't twisted around like that Izaya's was, and it wasn't as smart as Celty's or that kid's one either, but he did understand that, for whatever reason he would threaten out of the louse later, his embarrassing condition had been kept secret. He wouldn't say that he was grateful to the flea- even if he was about to die, he would never admit such a shitty little thing- but he could safely say that he was relieved the bastard had brains.

Right now, though, he was faintly aware of a loud slamming noise echoing through his head; no doubt some idiot had thought that smashing the door was fun. He couldn't hear the nervous noises of that kid anymore, but he could hear the quick tap-tap-tapping of his friend and the growly voice of his former body, so perhaps it was okay for him to wake up soon. In any case, his body was slowly returning to him, and that was all that mattered now.

When he was fully awake, he would make sure that the flea died a bloody painful death… even if it meant killing his former body and then having to be stuck as the louse forever. He could probably forgive Celty for her part in it, because the louse was pretty good at making people do what he wanted, but it would take a while before he could trust her again. Of course, he'd have to ask about whatever the heck seemed to be going on before, but he could do that once he killed that bastard.

For now, though, the ravenette was comfortable on the bed, and he didn't want to get up just yet...


	21. Inconvenient Discoveries

**Chapter Twenty-One: Inconvenient Discoveries**

There was something that was wrong with his situation, but Mikado just couldn't put a finger on it.

The first thoughts about betrayal had only struck him when he was well on his way home and too far away from Sunshine 60 to return for further questioning- it had occurred to him that Shizuo hadn't really answered any of his questions. He had been given a general indication as to the situation… but even that hadn't really struck a chord in him. Even though he had spoken with the fake blonde on many occasions and knew him to be an honest person, he felt that he couldn't trust the other this time around; his base instincts were telling him that something wasn't quite right with what the other had said to him. In any case, unless he could find something that proved the other's words to be completely incorrect, he could do nothing but trust the other for the time being.

However, the doubtful thoughts ceased to leave him alone, and more beliefs began to plague his mind. The confusion regarding Shizuo's honesty quickly transformed into the confusion regarding the mysterious Dollars member, 'Eonra', and the person's involvement in his eventual discovery of the antagonistic duo's location. When he'd arrived at the hotel's revolving doors five minutes before the arranged time, he had discovered, stuck to the door he'd entered, a note addressed to him:

_Go to Floor XX and Room XXX, and use the key-card attached to open the door  
Good luck in your venture, Tanaka Taro… or should I say, Ryuugamine Mikado  
_{{Eonra}}

From what he'd been able to see of the hotel's lobby, there were no suspicious characters that had entered or exited the revolving doors at the time that he did; in fact, there had been nobody at all who'd gone in or out of them during the whole time the doors were in sight. He could've sworn that he saw a faint shadow pass by him as soon as he was close enough to dart into the main entrance into Sunshine 60, but he couldn't be sure- just as he couldn't be sure of the fact that there might be supernatural influences at work. Unless there was someone else in Ikebukuro that was capable of such actions, there were only two people he knew who could successfully play the part of 'Eonra'.

The first person was the devious information broker, Orihara Izaya…  
…And the second person was the ethereal Dullahan, Celty Sturluson.

Although the information broker was somebody that enjoyed bringing discomfort to others for twisted reasons, the Dollars leader could not readily believe that he would do something that would compromise his own position, especially if it led to some undesirable consequences. Nobody in their right mind would bring him over and then have their consciousness taken from them for the entirety of their meeting, and thus he had to conclude that the other wasn't the mysterious 'Eonra'. Even if he was willing and able to pull off such a prank, Izaya was still human, and nothing could give anyone power to be able to spirit themselves to a position and out of it in mere milliseconds- not even if they were the slippery Shinjuku male.

The Dullahan fitted in the category of a supernatural being that might be capable of pulling such a feat, but the teenager was highly doubtful about the reasoning behind her actions, if it had been her who'd pulled this prank on him. Unless she or her friends were in direct danger, Celty seldom did anything to attract attention to herself, let alone do something so daringly bizarre, and the fact that he was counted amongst her friends made it even less plausible that she was the perpetrator of this. If the informant had been an unlikely choice as 'Eonra' then the courier was an even unlikelier choice, and Mikado came to the conclusion that she, too, couldn't have been behind this. The fact that she had arrived later than him to the hotel further strengthened this belief, so with a troubled mind he turned back to other matters that demanded his attention.

By the time he had arrived home, the Raira Academy sophomore was thoroughly confused, and a touch annoyed at himself. Not only had he been unable to come up with a solid conclusion to any of his problems, he was uncertain about nearly everything he'd set his mind to. He was no closer to the identity of the unknown Dollars member than he was before, he couldn't manage to find anything that would rule out Shizuo's tale as false, and on top of that he hadn't arranged a time to make up the missed outing he'd planned a month ago. Despite the confusing eddy of thoughts that were swirling inside his mind, there was one thought that stood firm in the whirlwind of insecurity.

_There was somebody that was lying to him, and he would find out who it was…_

* * *

The light pattering of feet retreated into the distance, and as one problem left the room, another came to take its place at the forefront of Celty's mind. Despite being certain of the fact that Mikado was anything but convinced by Izaya's impromptu tale, there was something else that was drawing more of her attention to it. That train of thought was the confusion linked with Izaya's strange words.

She had been in Ikebukuro long enough to know that Izaya was something akin to an evil genius, and thus was capable of coming up with the most intricate lies to manipulate people. She also knew, from various accounts and first-hand experience, that the informant was solely concerned with his own selfish desires, and was reputed to have any lack of positive human emotion. Even if he was found to have any sort of feelings akin to love, it would be for his sisters at most, and the last person it would include into the equation was his self-professed arch-nemesis and her best friend, Shizuo. Although she knew all this- or rather, notwithstanding her prior knowledge- she was confused about the other's supposedly self-serving actions.

The ethereal racked her intangible brains about the confusion swirling through her, but nothing she could come up with could explain the conundrum that she'd been faced with. Not only had Izaya's explanation of his situation with Shizuo been highly degrading to his supposed reputation as 'the God of Ikebukuro', it was also highly implausible. Granted, there had been evidence suggesting that the duo had, indeed, crashed into each other- the cost to fix the road numbered the thousands, and the road was still under maintenance- but there was nothing that pertained to Izaya's supposed condition. How he'd come up with such a strange idea continued to perplex her, and soon enough, she gave up and decided to ask the man himself for an explanation.

Erasing the random characters she'd unconsciously inputted during her mental meandering, the headless fairy tapped the taller male's shoulder to get his attention before she asked:

{Izaya, what… what was all that about?}

As the fake blonde read her message, the supernatural creature was further confused by the wry smile that flitted onto the other's face, but before she could puzzle out its meaning the other replied:

"Ne, Celty, I wish you could tell me the answer to that…"

{…You hadn't planned on saying something like that to Mikado, had you?}

"I planned to say _something_ to him, but I hadn't planned to say that exactly-"

{So your first instinct had been to come up with a lie… why couldn't you have just said the truth?}

"Why would I tell that Dollars leader the truth? Too many people know about mine and Shizu-chan's problem already, don't you think~?"

{It doesn't matter; the truth would've been just as good}

"But it worked, didn't it? I answered all of Mikado's questions and managed to make him ask nothing more, and you didn't interrupt me so the lie was preserved~ There is no incriminating evidence that will allow him to find out everything, and-"

{Izaya, stop denying the truth}

"…What truth?"

{The reason you gave up your reputation… the reason your first instinct was to protect your enemy…}

"…"

{You're starting to care for Shizuo, aren't you?}

"Celty, I love practical jokes and all, but this is going a bit too far, ne~?"

{What did I say about denying the truth? Your actions can only point to that conclusion-}

"Don't you _dare_ tell me what is right and wrong, and don't you _ever_ tell me that I love that... that brainless protozoan! How could I do something so fucking retarded?! Do you think I'm some brutish ingrate like _he_ is, huh?!"

{Izaya, calm down…}

"I REFUSE TO CALM DOWN! Get out now, Celty, or I swear I'll make sure your life will turn into a living hell!"

Before the headless rider could attempt to placate the enraged informant or allow the other to admit the truth, she was rudely stopped by a punch that nearly sent her helmet flying off her neck stump. Dancing back and barely dodging the next angered attack that came her way, the Dullahan sighed internally before she brought up a thick wall of smoke to obscure the fake blonde's vision and hastily made her way to the door. However, before she let herself out, she quickly tapped out a final message for the other to read, and then fled to the stairs amongst roars of pure anger.

As she leapt onto her disguised motorcycle and hurriedly sped away from the lamp hurtling down- there was no doubt about it being from the angry informant's hotel room- the supernatural being glanced sadly at the cracked screen on her PDA. Even though she had been careful to make sure that her digital device wouldn't be easily cracked, she ended up breaking her present from Shinra anyway. With a guilty shake of her helmet, the headless rider erased the message on her screen and quickly rode back to her shared apartment to think things over.

_All she needed to do now was figure out a way to get the two enemies together…_

* * *

If there was a word to describe Shizuo's exact feelings at the present moment, then either he did not know of it (because, probably, it was too long for his mind to handle it) or it simply did not exist. In actual fact, the mass of emotions eating away at him was so overwhelming that his mind would most likely explode if he reflected on it any further, but despite this he continued to try and sort out his thoughts. Although it took a long amount of time to completely disentangle the mess inside his heart, the ravenette finally managed to separate the multitude into five primary emotions: confusion, rage, annoyance, hopefulness and relief.

He couldn't really say where they were from, but he could definitely describe the effects that the five emotions had on him. While the anger caused a pale-red film of pure rage to descend over his vision, the confusion made everything seem to spin slightly in the hotel room, and the confusion irritated his ears with its faint buzzing noises. Strangely enough, though, the hopefulness made his stomach flutter uncomfortably, like butterflies were fluttering around inside and the relief caused his head to spin in a direction that didn't quite match his vision's spinning. All in all, he could safely conclude that he hated himself and everything around him right now.

When he'd snapped out of the darkness Celty smashed him into about five minutes ago, he found himself in a totally different sort of darkness- the darkness that normally came about when night had fallen over Ikebukuro. After he tried to rub his eyes and see if he could see any better, a coughing fit took over him and it didn't take long for him to realize that the pitch black wasn't caused by the light outside, but by smoke inside. Of course, when he finally figured out all this, the smoke had disappeared and he was made fully aware of his horrible circumstances.

Not only were his feelings screwing with his mind and body…  
…He seemed to be alone with a _very_ angry flea.

Before he could even hope to escape from the other- after all, he could still remember the last time he'd gone against his former body earlier that morning, and he didn't want something like _that_ happening anytime soon- he felt a strange gust of wind rush by him. He had barely seen the fist coming at him before a sharp pain lanced up his arm, and he felt himself being pinned a little too tightly to the wall behind him. However, as he was about to curse at the other and attempt to escape from the deathly grip on his arm, he was stopped by the arresting look in the other's mocha-coloured eyes, and the acidic tone his words had as the bastard spat out:

"Shizu-chan, why couldn't you have just _died_ when I cut you eight years ago?!"

Upon hearing Izaya's highly poisonous words, Shizuo felt his vision blur into a thick wave of red as his anger flooded over him in thick waves. Snarling in pure rage, he barked out:

"Well, then why can't you just stay fucking _still_ so I can squash you flat, huh?!"

"You think I'm stupid enough to get myself killed?"

"And somehow you think _I'm_ stupid enough?! You must be fucking kidding me!"

"But you're supposed to be the protozoic ingrate, ne~?"

"Fuck off, flea; I would be whatever shit you just called me if we weren't in this whole fucking mess that _you_ put us into! If it weren't for the fact that you were in my body then I would've fucking flattened you by now, you know that?!"

Just as he'd snarled out his bitter reply, the crimson-eyed man was suddenly made aware of the state his enemy was in. Instead of being the shitty bastard that he was used to seeing, he was looking at a broken version of the louse he'd always know; gone were the craftily sparkling eyes and the careless smirk of the other, to be replaced with overly sad orbs swimming with unshed tears and the trembling shadow of an angry frown. It would've been obvious to anyone, including himself, that at this point in time, Izaya was in a much worse state than he himself had ever been in.

And honestly speaking, knowing that the bastard actually had human feelings was frightening Shizuo.

The grip on his arm had loosened enough for him to wriggle out of the other's grasp, and with a careful glance towards his foe he did just that. Feeling a sense of cautious excitement at being able to make the flea cry, as well as being happy from not being flattened for his actions, the ravenette quietly crawled away and, once again, locked himself up in the familiar confines of the bathroom. With an audible sigh and a very tired groan, he slumped to his knees and stuck his head into his hands as he attempted to get a highly annoying thought out of his mind. He had no desire to listen to himself, but his brain was having none of his futile pleas and overrode his commands.

_Whether he liked it or not, he was going to have to make that flea admit that he liked him…_

* * *

While Shizu-chan entertained himself in the bathroom for however many times he'd locked himself inside, Izaya busied himself with feeling miserable over his situation. His pride had been destroyed, and by his own doings as well, but that wasn't the primary concern in the other's confused mind; instead, the informant found himself worrying over something that would never have worried him under normal circumstances. With a wry twist of his mouth, the tall male acknowledged the absurdity of his current position, and the generally insane worry that was consuming his mind.

Simply put, his present state of sadness had been brought about by Shizuo's caustic words to him.

As a being that valued humanity over all things- when it came to anybody other than himself, that was- Izaya could safely justify and acknowledge his undying hatred for the animalistic protozoan that constantly ruined his plans for his humans. Not only was the other unworthy of the very definition for his precious humans, the stupid brute was completely unfit of standing in his presence altogether, but that didn't stop the other from shoving his uncouth face into his own and yelling out a large number of profanities into his face. Whenever he was around the ingrate's horrifying form, he always felt a deep desire to eradicate the other from the face of the planet, but no matter how hard he tried, the task continued to taunt him with its impossibility. He was sure that he did not care _at all_ for the other's approval… and yet his state of mind reminded him that the situation was otherwise.

Rather than sustaining some sort of life-threatening injury in the form of a vending machine on his head or a mailbox in his abdominal region, the information broker found himself nursing a purely mental injury that was causing him to become undone at the seams. He had thought that Shizu-chan would be the one to finally finish him off, but he was rather unamused to find himself being brought low by the other because of a few acrimonious snarls from the beast's mouth. In any other situation, he would've been highly amused at the reaction that he'd elicited from the short-tempered debt collector, but given his circumstances he was sad to find himself being blamed for all of the other's problems, especially when he hadn't done anything to begin with.

Generally speaking, most of the trouble that occurred in the everyday life of Ikebukuro was often attributed to the persona inhabiting the fake blonde's body, but if Izaya had to be completely truthful then he would have to admit that most problems were not actually caused by him. Sure, there were the odd times when his carefully planned insults would set off a predictable chain of events that ended up spiralling out of control, but for the most part, all he did was claim the trouble as his own and then sit back to enjoy the people's misguided reactions. It was only natural for the other to place all the blame onto him for all the trouble they were currently in, yet all he could feel was extreme indignation at the predicament he had seemingly caused.

Was the protozoan that retarded that he'd thought he was responsible for all this mess?! If he was actually the person that had instigated all this trouble in the first place, then it would be logical to leave himself out of it, especially when there was an unpredictable monster in the mix as well. There was no sane person that involved themselves in an experiment of such dangerous proportions- if this was even an experiment at all- and he wasn't crazed enough to immerse himself in experiments anyway, let alone ones that frequently endangered his life. Sure, there were perks involved with having the immeasurable strength and stamina that Shizu-chan possessed, but he had certain preferences regarding his life, and being inside his body just happened to be one of them.

He didn't know why he was so fixated on gaining the brute's approval, but a small part of his mind was certain that, with the other's acceptance of their shared innocence, it would be easier to lure the other into working to solve the problem for him. The other's mental faculties were lacking- sadly, even with his analytical brain, he couldn't hope to solve the fundamental backwardness of the other- but still, with his random bursts of deep insight, he might be able to solve the problem at hand. After all, it had been due to certain revelations that the other had received over their years of fighting that had allowed him to foil his plans over and over again, and for once he _wanted_ the other's startling ability to dig deep and magically come up with solutions.

Despite his hatred of admitting anything that went against his carefully-constructed image, he was going to have to do something to make the other comply with him.

_Even if he had to give up everything, he was going to get Shizu-chan to accept him and work together with the other to gain a solution…_

* * *

**_A/N: _**_I'm sorry if this chapter sounds bad, but I ended up rewriting it twice- the first rewrite came about due to the computer deleting the file, and the second rewrite happened because the whole thing didn't make sense. Anyhow, this chapter (and probably the next two) will be contemplative-style chapters, so I'm also sorry for that... but the action will come after, so stay tuned for that. Anyhow, thank you for reading and I hope to see everyone next chapter~_


	22. Kaleidoscopic Montages

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Kaleidoscopic Montage**

{So… how do you think we should approach this situation?}

Shinra silently contemplated his girlfriend's words as she finished tapping out the sequence of events that had occurred ever since she'd left in the middle of 'breakfast'. He had expected Erika to come up with something slightly insane- after all, he would've done something drastic in similar circumstances as well- but for her to get such good results caused him no end of envy. Despite being basked in pride at the notion that he had caused his two former classmates unwitting enlightenment and complete distress with his observations, he couldn't help but feel a little concerned at everything that seemed to be going on without him.

When his beloved had practically flown through the door with her broken PDA in hand, he had been properly flattened by her hasty arrival, due to his foolish decision to stand just behind the door as he anticipated her arrival. After a thousand incoherent apologies and a well-cherished hug from the headless fairy, the underground doctor finally straightened out and launched into an outpouring of embarrassingly lovey-dovey terms, before he was kicked in the stomach for his efforts. As he took some time to recover from the wholly-expected treatment from the other, he attempted to stare through the spidery cracks on his girlfriend's screen, before he gave it up as a lost cause. By the time they had replaced her faulty device, though, he had become excessively curious as to what was riling up his ethereal darling in such a manner.

Now that he knew of the reason for the other's worry, the bespectacled male was all too ready to dismiss the other's fears as completely groundless, although he could understand why she would be worried for the crazy duo he was administering to. He'd expected the informant to realize his potential feelings first- and even then it would take much more than a day to do so- but for his expectations to be defied so quickly… it was a shocking sort of surprise to his system. Of course, his specialty was in illegal operations that involved surgically removing strange substances from stranger people's bodies, but even so, he often made accurate predictions in all fields of life. Unfortunately, this was not the case in Shizuo and Izaya's case.

And it annoyed him greatly to realize that, as usual, his friends were still as unpredictable as ever.

Sighing to himself for the fifth time since Celty had stopped tapping a few minutes ago, he was ignorant of the agitation that the supernatural fairy showed as he continued to think deeply about her comments. Sometimes, the deeply analytical being couldn't help himself overthinking situations, and in this case he was doing what his nature dictated him to do; unfortunately, all his convoluted thoughts did not lead to any sort of viable conclusion, and that was the most annoying thought he had at the present time. However, the more he sat in complete silence and turned over information in his mind, the more the being opposite him grew anxious, and finally he was forcefully roused from his apparent stupor with frantic waves of smoke billowing in his face.

Exhaling resignedly and pushing up his ever-falling glasses, the male rearranged the ruffled folds of his lab coat before he reluctantly voiced his current opinion:

"You know, my dear, I don't have an answer to your question. I just don't know what to make of all this mess we've seemed to gotten ourselves into…"

{You're saying that… you don't have any ideas?}

"No, no, it's not that- it's just, um… how do I put this…"

{…You don't have an actual answer, do you…}

"Ahaha, it's just so hard to lie to you, isn't it~?"

Sadly, no matter how many angles he'd taken or how much time he took to examine the situation, he was no closer to reaching a definitive answer about his girlfriend's deceptively simple question than he was before. Everything that he had ever encountered in life could not compare to the insanity that faced him in the form of his ill friends, and he had a faint suspicion that, if he continued on the current path that he was taking, there was nothing he would ever be able to do to get his friends back to normal. There were no cases that he'd ever seen of the situation, let alone any supposed remedies that could alleviate their sickness, and it was highly frustrating that he just couldn't do anything to help.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was going to have to go out of his comfort zone to solve this problem…

* * *

Being the closest friend that Erika had, Walker was visibly frustrated at being left out, even though he knew that it was usually better for him not to be involved in whatever crazy scheme his friend was embroiled in.

Ever since the night she'd gone out to bug the manga store for new releases, his counterpart had been on edge; if it wasn't pacing back and forth in the limited confines of the van, it was mumbling strange phrases to herself, which had nothing to do with their mutual love of the 2D world. From his many years of knowing her, this was the first time he had ever seen her fixated on something other than the fictional world of their choosing, and needless to say he was concerned by this turn of events. Of course, he had a niggling suspicion that whatever she had been spouting on about when he'd been rudely woken up in the morning was something to do with her current predicament, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what it was about, and it frustrated him to no end.

When he'd been forced awake at time where it would be rude to wake anyone up at, all he could hear in his dazed mind was something about the cameras not working. He'd assumed that she was talking about their operation, and had subsequently ignored everything she'd said. However, when she'd suddenly brought up Sunshine 60 and driving Togusa's van, he'd been convinced to do whatever she said, and had aided her in acquiring the other's prized possession via coaxes and threats alike- something that he'd been regretting as of late. His apprehension had finally won over his lack of interest in the situation when he was threatened at shadow-point by Celty, and he had hurriedly rid himself of the problem after a bout of detailing half-truths and convincing lying.

After that fortunate escape, he had seen neither hide nor hair of his significant other… that was, until she'd suddenly stumbled into him halfway between the manga store and Russia Sushi. She'd waved away all questions that Kadota and Togusa had, and had even gone as far as to ignore the persistent queries that he'd thrown her way. Puzzled and hurt by this rejection, he had withdrawn from her and began to ponder the situation, but nothing he could think of could lead him to any conclusions worth verifying.

All he knew was that his otaku partner was into something deep and dark again…  
…And this time, he wasn't there to be with her.

As much as he hoped that Erika wasn't doing anything strange with Celty, he couldn't discount the fact that the two were avid fujoshi fans- a trait that he did not care to share with his counterpart. With his experience regarding the females' obsessions with pairing real-life and fictional males alike, he was highly worried for their wellbeing, especially his best friend's; after all, who knew what the two might be coming up with? It was true that his strongest suspicions were wrong, and that they had met up straight after breakfast to chat about whatever yaoi manga they were currently absorbed in, but he found it strange that the back alley would serve as a suitable place to talk about such obsessions. There were various cafés where the duo could discuss their twisted fantasies to their heart's content, and besides, anyplace as removed and inconspicuous as their meeting place was nothing but trouble, in his mind.

With that mindset, the male otaku decided that he was going to fish around for information before deciding on a plan of attack. Making sure that Kadota and Togusa were not anywhere close to them, he leant in close and tapped the mumbling female on the shoulder, before he asked confidentially:

"Erika, how's the surveillance of the manga store going?"

"…Yumacchi, what are you talking about?"

At this point, the fujoshi went back to her monotonous mumbling, but her noises were blocked out from Walker's stunned mind. Not only had Erika's current fixation caused her to brush him off, she had also voiced a casual disregard for anything to do with manga. He wasn't any closer to the solution, but he now had an inkling of the enormity of whatever situation his counterpart had been immersed in since half a day ago.

This was something that had caused Erika to neglect her childhood passion for the first time since he'd befriended her all those years ago. Whatever this event was… it was meddling with the female otaku's mind. It was meddling with his mind. Heck, it was meddling with their _lives_ even.

And he was not going to stand for that…

* * *

Just like his fellow Dollars member, Walker, Mikado was attempting to find a solution to his confusion.  
However, unlike the manga-obsessed male, he had more information and leads at his disposal.

At the present moment in time, he was picking up on the most promising of his leads in regards to discovering more knowledge about Izaya's and Shizuo's strange situation. Despite knowing next to nothing about the unknown 'Eonra' other than their position as a housekeeper at Sunshine 60 and their surprising recognition of his real name in conjunction to his handle, he had technology on his side and he was determined to take full advantage of it. He was not a professional hacker by any means, but as the sole leader of the Dollars, he was also the administrator of the Dollars website and that gave him certain privileges regarding private information.

Under normal circumstances, he refused to abuse anyone's right to privacy by obtaining their IP addresses, but this was nothing short of an extraordinary circumstance and thus he felt entitled to breach the privacy code in his search for the mysterious persona. Ignoring the tiny voice of reason in his head that was berating him for letting his curiosity and excitement get the better of him, the small ravenette embarked on the complicated process of obtaining such sensitive information, and after a half-hour he was rewarded for his efforts.

That was, if obtaining a proxy address counted as any sort of 'reward'.

It was annoying how he hadn't thought of the possibility of a proxy being used by the hidden member, and as the long line of numbers laughed at him from their smug positioning in the middle of his computer screen, he immediately shut down the greyscale window and wondered about what to do next. He had no way of contacting the person, other than via a text message to _all_ of the Dollars members, and there was no way that he was going to alert most of the city to the duo's predicament- as much as he wanted to know what was up with them, he wasn't going to compromise their position when he had no idea of what position they were in to begin with. He could chat on the forums, but that was just the same as texting everyone, except the few subscribed to the forum would know, as opposed to all the members.

From what he could see, his only option was to somehow engage 'Eonra' in conversation, either offline or online, and then pinpoint who they were. It would be much easier to reveal their identity offline, but he didn't think this person would be stupid enough to follow such a course of action- after all, they probably wanted to stay hidden and such a rash decision did not follow that sort of thinking. It seemed that his choices were now narrowed down to luring them onto an online chat… but how was he to do that?

This question nagged at Mikado's mind for a good amount of time before he could come up with any viable solution for the problem, and even then the solution was highly flawed. With nothing else in mind, the male shook his head in defeat before re-posting on the forum thread he'd created scarcely two hours ago:

…**  
Tanaka Taro~ **Thank you for the information, Eonra~

He continued to stare at the screen, but no reply was forthcoming for a while. However, just as the thread was about to be bumped off the page by the resumption of other, more interesting threads of conversation, a new reply popped up:

**Eonra~ **You're welcome…  
**Maomin~ **So did you find what you needed then~?  
**Tanaka Taro~ **Not exactly…  
**Eonra~ **What, so I wasn't helpful enough…?  
**Young Leaf Mark~ **I went as well, after Tanaka Taro had left, but I didn't find anything. How strange~  
**Tanaka Taro~ **All I was left was a message, and a cryptic one at that…  
**Eonra~ **You need more information? Where do you want me to give it to you?  
**Tanaka Taro~ **Would you mind chatting online with me then?  
**Maomin~ **Awh, no fair~! I'd love to join as well, y'know C;  
**Young Leaf Mark~ **And I still don't know what's going on with everything…  
**Eonra~ **…I'll chat, if it's only Tanaka Taro and I…  
**Tanaka Taro~ **Awesome, just let me set it up then-  
**Maomin~ **Hmph, how rude~!  
**Young Leaf Mark~ **Um, so can anyone tell me what's going on _now_…?

With his success burning triumphantly in his system, the Dollars leader made a few adjustments to the usual chat room he used, before he set up the booby-trapped PM window that he would be using to converse with Eonra. Hopefully, the other would fall for the casual questioning he'd come up with, and he'd be able to have enough time to track the location of the other's IP signal and discover their current location. If he was really lucky, he might even be able to fool the other long enough to catch them while he chatted with them on the go, but he couldn't get too far ahead of himself just yet. After all, it wouldn't do for him to become overly confident and then fall short.

Besides, he could celebrate later… once he'd captured the elusive 'Eonra' and found out everything there was to know about Izaya's and Shizuo's situation…

* * *

While their situation inflamed the small portion of the world that were concerned with the whole or the part of their true position, Izaya and Shizuo were engaged in their own form of heated discussion. If things were to be put into perspective, though, the informant would have to say that nothing of productive value was happening at the present moment in time.

Unless, of course, a full minute of verbal abuse followed by an angry staring contest counted as 'something of productive value'.

The arguing had begun approximately two minutes after the bathroom door had finally been opened to reveal his nemesis for the past eight years. He could've sworn that the other had distinctly redder eyelids than usual- which he would know, seeing as his eyes were normally framed with black bags- but before he could snap out of the frosty silence surrounding them and switch into his normally antagonistic role, he was stopped in the usual manner. With an angry snarl and an animalistic baring of the teeth, the crimson-eyed man opposite him attempted to hold his anger back and, upon failing miserably, he blurted out a most startling phrase:

"Just admit you like me already, you shitty little flea!"

There was probably something wrong with the protozoan's non-existent brain, because there was no way that he was going to admit that he ever liked him; besides, he didn't even _like _him to begin with. He was quite sure Celty had knocked the other out, but there was a slight possibility that he might've managed to catch the foolish chatter that the other had said, and there was no way that he was going to tolerate the berating- or worse, the ridicule- of a Neanderthal. Instead of continuing with his plan to force the other to accept their shared stance of innocence, anger took over his system and, with a reciprocating growl, he barked out:

"Or what, Shizu-chan? You'll poke me to death?!"

"Don't test my patience, louse, because I've got none of that left anymore…!"

"Really, you actually had a sense of patience? How intriguing~"

"Shut the fuck up, you shitty bastard!"

"But what if I don't want to, ne~?"

"Tch, then I'll make you!"

"Oh, I'd _love_ to see you try~"

After that comment, rather than launching into an all-out physical fight- which he was sure he would have won, thanks to possessing the brute's crazy strength- he'd been surprised by the tight glare that the other shot at him. Somehow, he found that staring into his beautiful crimson orbs was a better alternative to facing the wrath of the Sunshine 60 staff and Celty, so it'd somehow come down to their livid fixation on each other's eyes. Although he found the situation strange, to say the least, it was better than succumbing to the underlying rage he often felt surfacing at the back of his mind- which was probably courtesy of Shizu-chan's inability to control his strength.

The good thing about their little staring competition was the fact that the information broker could come up with a more solid strategy to make the monster bend to his will. Despite the distraction staring him straight in the eye, Izaya was used to working under varied sorts of pressure, so it was with relative ease that he was able to continue to glare into the other's eyes while racking his brain for a suitable solution. As much fun as it was to succumb to the temptation of letting his mind go in and intimidating the foolish ravenette in front of him, he reasoned that he could do all that later, when he was sure he could overpower the other with his strategies.

In any case, his plan to dominate the protozoan came first; afterwards, he could think about other, more tantalizing topics of interest that he could engage in…

* * *

_**A/N: **After two rewrites and various failed plot ideas... this appeared. This was actually going to include Celty's, Erika's, Eonra's and Shizuo's perspectives too, but it was already too long as it was, so that portion will be written up for next week's chapter. I'm sorry for the lack of action so far, but I promise it will come soon... in any case, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and I look forward to posting up the next chapter soon~_


	23. Mirrored Mosaics

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Mirrored Mosaics**

She had always known that Izaya's and Shizuo's problem were never hers and Shinra's to deal with… and yet she wanted nothing more than to help her best friend out of his situation. Her actions were almost like maternal duty or the concern of an excessively close friendship, but Celty just couldn't sit back and let the troublesome duo solve their own problems, because it was obvious that they could never resolve it on their own. Of course, there was an even higher possibility that her meddling could be misplaced and that even more problems might arise from her interference, but there was a small chance that things could be solved, and she was willing to take that risk.

However, her attempt at finding a solution was coming to no fruition at the moment. To put things simply, she had no chance of figuring something out without the help of her dearly beloved boyfriend, but since he was at a proverbial dead end in his musings it meant that, for the time being, she was out of ideas too.

Despite the twists and turns the headless fairy accidentally took, and the additional time it gave her to ponder over everything that had occurred so far, she had come up with preposterous idea after preposterous idea, and it was with a fit of anger that she'd given up on her musings. Wrapped up in smoky paroxysms of worry and confusion, she had burst through the door and flattened the illegal doctor hiding behind its wide frame, and as she attempted to apologize to her room-mate and explain the situation to him, her worry and confusion continued to rise. She had finally given up and tried to prompt an answer out of the intelligent figure… but instead of the knowledgeable answers that she was used to, all she got were evasive answers and a sense of frustration that was as palpable as her own.

For the first time in her current memories, she was faced with an issue that was as dark and mysterious as the hidden years of her past. Even when she was a courier of shady objects, or when she became the instrument of Izaya's twisted schemes, she had always had an inkling of the general state of affairs, and had been able to adjust as such. However, in this particular instance, she had nothing to go off on and there was nothing at all for her to work with, and that frustrated her to no end. All that time spent conversing with her otaku friend and the two individuals at the heart of the problem had done nothing to help her musings get anywhere particular, and she had run out on her last viable lead.

That is, of course, if she didn't include the oblivious Dollars leader.

{…Shinra, do you think Mikado will be helpful if we told him about the situation?}

The question appeared on her newly-replaced PDA before she could even think about the possible ramifications of her thoughts, and she immediately regretted her hastily thought-out decision when the individual seated opposite her ruffled his unruly hair in deep consternation. She was just about to erase her crazy question when the other shrugged nonchalantly and mumbled pensively:

"My dear Celty, he has a whole information network that could prove to be helpful in the near future, but what exactly prompts you to ask him for help? We are merely members, and he is the leader; for all we know, he may spread the information and put Shizuo and Izaya in danger-"

{Do you really think Mikado would be capable of doing that? He's such a nice boy…}

"I'm just being cautious here, Celty. What happens if something happens to your beautiful body- OUCH! Okay, okay, I'm sorry!- or he does something that would hurt our friends? Remember, we don't know much about him and we certainly can't control his actions like Izaya does with others"

{I've talked to him before, and I really don't feel like he's a bad person}

"But the question is… do you trust him to come up with a definitive solution?"

{…There's a possibility that he might succeed where everyone else has failed}

"So… you're adamant about this, aren't you? Ah, Celty my dear, you know I can't stop you if you're fixed on an idea~ I'll help you however I can in securing Mikado's help, but don't blame me if something goes wrong…"

There wasn't any other viable solution, and she was sure that, with the help of a well-connected person, there might be a significant improvement in their chances of bringing Shizuo and Izaya back to their normal conditions. Of course, there was the possibility that Shinra was right and that Mikado may very well betray their trust, but it was highly implausible if her opinion of him was anything to go by and she was adamant in her good opinion of the timid Raira Academy sophomore. It was with this thought in mind that she erased the last line of text and typed in the deciding thought shining in the ethereal wisps of her mind.

{What are we waiting for then, Shinra? Let's go and find Mikado so we can get back to our lives already~!}

* * *

Under normal circumstances, anything that caused Yumacchi worry would also cause Erika worry.  
However, at the present moment in time, she couldn't have cared less about him if she tried.

While her rather disturbed friend nervously pretended to read a random manga- which they both knew he'd already read several times on previous occasions- she paced back and forth in the narrow confines of Togusacchi's van, muttering unintelligible phrases under her breath. It was fortunate that Dotachin and Togusacchi had left as soon as they realized that she was craving some strange urge for private time, but it was a little annoying to not be entirely alone- especially when the other person with her just happened to be poor Yumacchi. As much as it pained her to see her long-time friend in such distress from her own actions, she wasn't any more inclined to stop because of the adverse effects her seemingly-meaningless actions had on him.

The failure of her plan had taken a toll on her mental faculties for the time being, and the depressing weight of ShizuShizu's and IzaIza's increased enmity for each other weighed heavily on her mind. She had been adamant in her success, certain that their supposed masks of hatred would fall when presented with such a startlingly normal situation- but she had been wrong, wrong in a way that she'd never thought she'd be wrong in. Ever since she'd first laid eyes on the fighting duo during their high-school years, she had been certain that they were in love with each other; their increasing fixation on each other, the instantaneous moods each would get upon meeting each other and their general behaviour around each other practically _screamed_ of an intense emotional disturbance.

She had always thought of it as love… but she had never considered hate.  
It had been too disturbing for the fujoshi and all too implausible… until now.

Her mental shortcomings had only struck her when she'd been ambling idly around the busiest section of Ikebukuro, and her inherent failings had crippled her in time for her usual trio of friends to catch her unawares at some unknown alleyway she'd found herself in. Dazed and disorientated, she had possessed enough presence of mind- but only just enough- to ignore the queries thrown her way, and without so much as a passing glance to any of them she'd stumbled into the conveniently-placed van beside them, and began her ritual pacing.

Quite a number of minutes, if not hours, had passed by the time she was aware enough to realize that she was coming down with a moderate headache. After perfunctorily answering whatever question Yumacchi had thrown her way- in short, with a general 'huh?' of some sort- she'd slowed down enough to ensure that the migraine raging in the forefront of her brain didn't disturb her convoluted thought process too much… but she had continued to pace, back and forth, in the same spot she'd been pacing for the entirety of the afternoon. Thoughts hurtled through her mind with the pace of a speeding freight train, but none paused for long enough in there to be taken down and examined, let alone be dissected for any perceived usefulness.

As an intelligent young adult with a knack for creative thinking she was rather miffed by her inability to think up any other clever solutions for converting the genuine hate she'd come to accept from them to the pure and passionate love she'd thought the duo were concealing. For obvious reasons conventional methods wouldn't work- not unless one or the other decided to magically convert from their exceptional selves to a mundane shadow of their former glory- and anything down her alley involved with manga-related torture wouldn't work either. Anything that involved people other than Celchi and her crazy underground-doctor boyfriend was a no-no, which meant there were to be no grand plans comprised of several stages… which only left one group of solutions in her possession.

If conventional, and therefore legal, methods were not going to work, then illegal methods were the only way to go. Nothing of a large scale could work, so something covert was the sole thing available to her. There was nothing much that she could do by herself, and honestly speaking she felt that, as much as the Dullahan was a helpful being, she didn't require- or, for that matter- wish to require- the other's help, so the group narrowed down to a single shining idea.

With an unconscious grin spreading across her face, the female otaku barely noticed her male counterpart recoil in shock and abandon all pretences of minding his own business as she quickly made for the back door of the van. The triumph and satisfaction radiating off her form were more than enough to cause any nearby beings to scramble away from the apparently-insane woman, but at the moment the fujoshi was deaf to the entirety of the world. All the previous depression had completely wiped itself from her memory, and had been replaced by the ingenious scheme she had thought out, all by herself, and she couldn't have been more eager to get started with her plan.

After all, she had always wanted to pump ShizuShizu and IzaIza full of so-called 'date-rape drugs' and monitor their effect, and now she had a perfectly legitimate reason to do such a thing. If real love could not be first established, then perhaps synthetic love was the way to go…

* * *

The short-haired brunette was the sort of person that effortlessly blended in with other mundane people from crowded places and aroused absolutely no recollections from the general population, and that was the exact impression that the person known as 'Eonra' liked to have. There were people that deliberately stood out and preferred to make themselves memorable, but in the line of work that this particular person did an outstanding figure was rather detrimental. Then again, there hadn't been a single person that had seen this human's true form and lived, but it was always better to be on the safe side.

Right now, though, Eonra wasn't sure of the exact definition of 'the safe side' anymore.  
In actual fact, he had been unsure of his position in relations to 'the safe side' for a long while now.

If he had to identify the very first moment in which he realized that his life was not what he'd initially envisioned it to be, then that defining moment would probably be when he was nearly impaled by a twisted soccer goal at a tender young age. As a young child, he had never cared much for anything other than the general sorts of things young children would care about, but his life had been turned on its head when he had come face-to-face with his very first near-death experience. He had once been normal, obsessed with toys and enjoying life… but once he had gone through the indirect effects of Shizuo's wrath and come out alive, he had become obsessed with the crazy monster, and by extension the equally insane being that provoked the monster to such heights.

He couldn't consider himself a true fangirl because he wasn't in love with either of them- the mere thought of affection for anyone, let alone something so inhuman, was enough to make him mentally gag- but he was obsessed with them on a level that was almost akin to romantic interest. He had so many artefacts and information about Izaya and Shizuo that he could probably be compared to the most obsessive of stalkers, and yet he had done nothing illegal or intrusive to obtain the extent of tangible and intangible memorabilia that he'd acquired over most of his life. He couldn't decide about his position in terms of his relationship with the two high-profile men, but all he knew was that his nature was paradoxical when it came to the two…

…And that his role in their lives had turned from almost non-existent to pivotal.

As their self-proclaimed- and perhaps their actual- biggest fan, 'Eonra' had been all too aware of the catastrophe that had incapacitated his two lifelong fixations, and it had taken the mysterious figure a matter of hours to realize the exact situation that the duo were in. From that moment onwards, he had found himself locked in his room- or anywhere with an intelligent electronic device, for that matter- as he immersed himself in anything to do with helping the duo from their strange situation. Of course, he would go out from time to time so that the few people who knew him would not call the police to report his disappearance, but for the most part his life existed away from the real world and was stuck in the virtual one.

There were times when, strangely enough, he was both in the real world and the virtual world, and at the moment this was his exact situation. With his headphones securely fastened onto his head and his phone snugly tucked into the palm of one hand, he weaved through the crowd with the uncharacteristic ease that nondescript people like him innately possessed, while being wholly unaware of the tangible world around him. The only thing that was imprinting on his mind was the meaningless conversation he was conducting with 'Tanaka Taro', the famous- or infamous- leader of the Dollars, and the equally nondescript figure in his periphery… who just _happened_ to be a certain somebody that he was sure he didn't want to meet at the moment.

It was peculiar for him to carry on with such an ordinary conversation in such an extraordinary position, but he couldn't really complain. After all, it was in such moments that a normal person like him could get an atypical adrenaline rush, and it was in moments like this that he felt _alive_…

_**Tanaka Taro: **__How did you manage to get the opportunity to get the job at Sunshine 60?_

Like he didn't know that; all he'd need to do was use his hacking powers to find that out…

_**Eonra: **__I suppose it was all luck… though it was troublesome to clean their room_

Of course he didn't do housework at that hotel, but it wasn't as if that Mikado kid needed to know that…

_**Tanaka Taro: **__Ah, there must be a lot of broken objects, right?_

Playing footsies was annoying, and yet he was forced to indulge in this childish game…

_**Eonra: **__…wouldn't you know that already, Mikado?_

He was sick and tired of being distracted from his pursuit to help Izaya and Shizuo…

_**Tanaka Taro: **__If I did then would I be asking you …?  
_

And it seemed the boy was sick and tired too…

With a small smile sneaking unawares onto his face, he stood still and allowed the crowd to pass him by as the peripheral figure steadily encroached onto his conspicuous form. As if he wasn't embroiled in the weirdest experience of his life, the male abruptly began moving again while rapidly tapping on his phone, before he snapped it shut and slid it into his back pocket. Casually breezing past the shorter profile of the frozen boy standing not too far from where he had first stopped, he chuckled darkly to himself before he continued on his way, leaving the other to read his message to himself over and over again.

_**Eonra: **__Of course not, because otherwise I wouldn't extend to you this-  
__**Eonra: **__Go back to your apartment, and I'll provide you with some answers…_

* * *

Most people described Shizuo as 'animalistic', and as much as he hated being compared to an animal he couldn't help but agree with the fact that his senses were more inhuman than human. It may be true that he had lower intelligence than the average person, and that his temper was one of the worst anyone, including himself, had ever seen, but being a monster gave him quite a few perks that he wouldn't otherwise have.

One of these perks… was his ability to perceive the flea's thoughts and emotions.

Other than the clear satisfaction that he perceived radiating from his former body- which, frankly, disgusted him, especially when he realized that the shitty bastard was happy with staring at his 'perfect body' or whatever- there was also a slight sense of confusion that the normal person might not otherwise pick out without his bestial intelligence. Unfortunately for him, he had spent so long in the company of the louse that he was able to identify every single change, however minute in nature, about the other and link it to a vast array of feelings he had experienced from the devious informant. As much as he hated his ability and wished that he could have that for any other person _but his mortal enemy_, there were times that such an ability became useful and this just happened to be one of those lucky circumstances.

Unless his head was majorly screwed up, which he was sure it was (but not at the current moment in time), the otherwise-expressionless whorls of the mocha-coloured orbs in front of him were failing to hide some sort of unknown frustration that was greatly affecting the fake blonde's mind. It was rare for him to see the flea show any sort of flustered emotion, especially when he was under a tight situation- in which he'd normally show excitement anyway, the twisted bastard- so it was both funny and a little strange that he would see that Izaya show something so… vulnerable. At this realization his heart fluttered weirdly, and feeling both frightened and angry at the stupidity of his body Shizuo decided that he wasn't going to stare any longer.

If the staring wasn't going to kill him then the fucked-up louse's body was going to, and he didn't really want to die on anyone's terms but his own.

With a rather feral grin and a deliberate tearing away of his eyes, the ravenette took a moment to revel in the complete confusion and annoyance that was spreading across the flea's face, before he harshly barked:

"So, _flea_, do I have to make you admit you like me or force you to fucking say it?!"

The smugness curled up on the opposing male's face was enough to make him wretch in complete revulsion, but what had stopped him in his tracks was not the cat-like glint in the taller person's eyes, or the sinister smirk that slithered onto his face, but the all-too-smooth words of the other as he purred in the most disturbing mimicry he'd ever heard:

"Oh my, _Shizu-chan_, don't tell me you're actually misinterpreting your own affection~?"

"…The fuck do you mean by that, you shitty little louse?"

"Ah, dear me, must you always be so protozoic? I'm saying that you think I'm in love because you're the one that's really in love, ne~"

"And what gave you that fucked-up idea, huh?!"

"I don't know… _your stupid comments_, maybe?!"

"Tch, fucking hell louse-"

Instead of finishing off whatever insulting comment had been on the tip of his tongue, the crimson-eyed male felt his eyes widen in shock and his cheeks flush in embarrassment when his stomach gave off a rather loud growl. It was probably because he hadn't particularly eaten much, since he had ordered very little and he'd done a bit of 'hard exercise' in between, but he had been growing steadily hungrier and hadn't noticed it… until now, that was. Of course, his actions stopped his heated argument with the flea in its tracks, and instead of being considerate and ignoring the noise the bastard just _had_ to laugh rudely at his dismay.

Maybe it was because of this that the smaller male flew into a rage and managed to slice his lifelong enemy under his right eye while the other was absorbed in his merry fit. Maybe he'd grown so sick of his companion for the past week and a day that he'd forgotten about his situation. Maybe there was a reason for his actions, or maybe there wasn't. In any case, instead of locking himself in the bathroom, as he'd found himself doing, Shizuo found himself running outside and slamming the hotel room door behind him.

Immediately, three thoughts struck the unfortunate male.

Firstly, he was stuck outside without his key card, so unless he begged to be let in he was locked out.  
Secondly, he was still in his ruffled flea-clothing and not only was he messy, he was also conspicuous.  
Lastly, and most importantly, he'd promised to keep himself out of sight from everyone…

…And yet he'd failed, because there was a person who was currently staring at his crazy-looking figure…

* * *

_**A/N: **I apologize for the lengthiness of this chapter (and possibly the chapters to come) and the crazy subplots that are starting to emerge, but I promise that this story won't go out of hand... though I can't really make a promise as to whether this will actually be ending anytime in the near future. Just as a warning to all readers, I'm going into my assessment period soon and so I may be updating slower... in any case, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter~ Oh, and thank you, all readers, for the 3000 views~!_


	24. Misdirected Intentions

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Misdirected Intentions**

Although he was supposed to be on the way to the decrepit apartment that was somehow the living quarters of the Dollars gang leader, the mysterious figure known as 'Eonra' felt that he had enough time to spare to perch on a rooftop high above the sprawling roads of Ikebukuro. With a slightly whimsical smile hovering over his facial features, he revelled in the wind dancing around his seated frame and airily dangled his feet over the empty space stretching beneath his legs, before he was overcome by the urge to laugh. As he indulged in the inexplicable display of his mirth, his mind momentarily drifted from all the matters he had on his mind- the predicament that his lifelong idols were in, the impeding meeting he had forced with the little sophomore, and all the various other things that had previously been clouding his mind- and he giggled to himself for an eternity and a matter of seconds, all rolled into one.

After all, what were the boring old restraints of time compared to the intricacies of life?

There had once been a time where life was meaningless, and nothing had appealed to him; those times had been of those before his entrance into any sort of educational institute, when he had been stuck in the formless blobs the countryside had to offer. His move to the city at the tender age of six had changed nothing in him- that was, until _that_ incident fell upon his head- but even then, while pursuing the primary targets of his exciting new life, he felt nothing but modicums of interest in the finite time he'd spent 'alive'. It had only been now, when he was in complete control over everything that concerned himself, that he finally felt like life was multi-faceted, and as intriguing as everybody else claimed it to be.

However, if he really wanted to be technical… he wasn't actually in control of anything, much less himself.

At the sobering thought that immediately doused the crazed amusement welling up inside of him, his features snapped back to its usual disinterest and, with a loud sigh, he grabbed the railing behind him and flipped himself back onto the relative confines of the enclosed rooftop. Scowling at the sudden vibration that emitted from his pants pocket, he slid the bulky headphones off his head and raised his phone to his ear, before he rolled his eyes at the soft tones that flowed from the speaker and mumbled into the receiver:

"Mother, I'll be back in time to eat dinner, okay? Seriously, stop worrying…"

Instead of receiving a reassuring reply, his brows furrowed irritably at the other's unexpected words. With a definitive edge creeping into his voice, he growled back:

"Wait, what do you mean by this? Listen to yourself-"  
"Of course I'm not going against your word, but still…"  
"This is too weird; I mean, what happens if you're wrong?"  
"No, no, I'm not saying _you're _wrong-"  
"Ah, fine, I get it. I'm not responsible for anything, though"  
"I meant nothing by it, okay? I'll bring them along… if there is even a 'them'…"  
"How many times- Okay, I'm sorry; I said something I shouldn't have said! Happy?"  
"Yes, yes, I'll go straight away. Be prepared, okay?"  
"I'm not even… right, okay, bye mother…"

Shaking his head in disbelief and angrily hanging up on the conversation, he ran his hand through windblown brown locks, before he sighed and tucked his phone back into his pockets. Flipping the black hood of his jacket back over his head as he made his way to the fire escape stairs on the other side of the open-air space, the plain-looking male kept his gaze focused straight ahead as he swiftly proceeded to the bustling streets below. Once again, he immersed himself in the ever-present traffic criss-crossing Ikebukuro as he traversed the short distance from the dingy rooftop he'd been a few moments ago to the crumbling apartments that he, too, had once lived in before.

He had never quite liked the relative slums of the downtown district- after all, there was nothing much to like about barely-functional living conditions and the constant threat of robbery- so it was only expected when a slight shiver involuntarily crept its way down his spine. Burrowing his hands further down into the pockets they inhabited, and meandering up to the apartment block that his quarry lay in, he dragged his body up the stairs and shuffled over to a particularly plain-looking door.

Even though it looked just as plain and scratched-up as all the other doors in the apartment block, there was something definitive about it that compelled him to step up to it and trace the faint cracks on the door. However, before he could get very far in his odd endeavour, the blue pane of wood creaked open, and with rapid movements he returned his wandering hand to his pocket and offered the boy opposite him a smile. When the other deigned to stare suspiciously at him, he tucked his grin back to where it had emerged from and bowed slightly, before he murmured matter-of-factly:

"Ah, it's such a pleasure to see the almighty Dollars leader in person…"

Instantly, the ravenette's face shifted into that of indifference, and with a slight tilt of the head, the brunette began to study the odd mask that the other had shifted over his features. Before he could get very far in his musing, the odd boy bowed slightly to him and pried the door open a bit further, before he heard a hesitant voice enunciate:

"You must be 'Eonra', r-right? Um, please do step inside…"

Even though his mother had specifically instructed him to bring the boy over to dinner, he hesitated for only a moment before he decided to make his way inside. Shrugging the hoodie off his head and padding through the open doorway, he nodded his thanks to the male before he let his eyes scan over the interior of the Dollar leader's room.

After all, he could always excuse his tardiness as 'too much fun' or something like that…

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Erika fought to stifle a giggle at the shocked figure standing frozen at his hotel room door. The fact that he looked just like a deer in the headlights- and the fact that his facial expression ignited the fantastical dreams that her inner fujoshi often conjured for her- didn't help her mind focus on the dangerous position that ShizuShizu was situated in, but eventually she managed to wrestle her imaginations down and snap out of her semi-delirium. Picking up the bag that threatened to squash her feet, and dragging the heavy receptacle behind her, she managed to force the dishevelled-looking male to focus his dwindling attention span on her long enough for him to realize that she wasn't whatever he seemed to think she was.

However, before he could so much as open his mouth to say anything, she firmly wrapped a hand around his mouth and silently signalled for him to stay quiet, before she rummaged around for the illegally-obtained key card that she had to their room. Sliding the key through its slot in the door and grinning in satisfaction upon hearing it beep softly in acceptance, the female otaku lugged both her canvas bag and the semi-frozen ravenette through the door and kicked the door closed behind them. She would probably have to find time afterwards to ask the debt collector why he was outside to begin with, but that could all wait until later.

Her first priority was to get IzaIza and ShizuShizu to agree with her ingenious plan.

Just as she was wondering where the aforementioned informant had gone to, a large blur passed by her and aimed straight for the fur-clad male slumped on the floor, and with wide eyes that showed hints of curiosity and nervousness, she observed the taller male growl threateningly at the smaller one, almost as if he was _reprimanding _the other for something. Before she could jump to any conclusions, though, the fake blonde before her directed his attention to her figure and ceased all movement for a second, before he choked out a puzzled:

"Ne, who are _you_, and how did you get in here in the first place?!"

She had been so engrossed in getting to the hotel room unseen that she had completely forgotten about her general condition, but now that her previous danger was over, she was now all too aware of the predicament that she was currently in. Not only was she decked out in an outfit that would put many anime characters to shame, she was dressed in an elaborate costume that perfectly emulated a certain masked antihero-slash-royal, and combined with her suspiciously stuffed bag and her complete lack of words so far, it wasn't too hard to figure out why IzaIza was so confused her outlandish appearance. Slipping off the faceless purple-black mask that hid her head from view, she smirked widely at the instant transformation in the antagonistic duo's facial expressions, before she happily chirped:

"Well, are you two surprised to see me~?"

Before either of the infuriated pair could berate her for her odd behaviour- not to mention her ability to get into a room that she should have no access to- she flopped down into a chair and gave a loud sigh of relief. Cutting off whatever they had to say with a stern glare, she forced them to sit down with… certain coercive methods… before she addressed the seated individuals before her:

"Have you two eaten yet?"

The reaction was both astounding and instantaneous; with an angry growl, the smaller of the two leapt to his feet and, while gesticulating wildly, he made to explode on the spot as he complained:

"Are you fucking brain-dead or something? What do you think I was doing in the first place, jumping outside to take a breath of fresh air?! We can't get any fucking food when we're cooped up inside, and this shitty bastard thinks he can laugh at my misery, and I'm just about ready to go get some food when _you_ come and interfere! So have we eaten yet?! Well, the fucking answer is no, dammit, we did not manage to get any fucking food! Happy now?!"

"How animalistic of you to flare up over something so insignificant, Shizu-chan~"

"I'd like to see you keep your temper when you're fucking stomach is empty!"

"Oh, I'm hungry too, you know; I just happen to have the capabilities of keeping myself in check-"

"You don't even eat at all, so how could your shitty little appetite match mine?!"

Before the hotel room collapsed around her head from the intensity of the verbal argument in front of her, and before she'd have to answer to Celchi for inflaming the short-tempered male and causing thousands- if not millions- of yen in damage costs, Erika launched herself forward and smacked the two childish individuals on the face. As their anger at each other morphed into annoyance at her actions, she stepped backwards to place some distance between the murderous looks aimed at her, and hurriedly continued with her pre-prepared plans:

"Instead of being stuck here and waiting for Celchi to bring food, why don't you come with me to get something to eat~?"

"…I'd hate to burst your bubble, Karisawa, but you do realize that you can't drive, right? Not only that, this is peak hour in Ikebukuro for all restaurants… and yet you plan to bring us out? As much as I _love_ forfeiting my life, I would prefer not to, thank you very much~"

"Tch, flea's got a point there. Eating out is better than staying here with the bastard, but I can't go out without people thinking I'm the louse, so…"

"Ah, IzaIza, I'd expected you to get what I meant, but it seems like I have to spell it out for the two of you, huh~?"

"Just get _on_ with it so we can get some food and so I can stop the goddamn growling in my tummy!"

"Aren't we rather impatient tonight, Shizu-chan~?"

"One more fucking word from you and I swear-"

"…Hah, you two really don't want to eat, do you?"

When she was sure that she had both the fake blonde's and the ravenette's attention, she grinned slightly at the two of them and tripped over to her bag, before she began rummaging inside its stuffed confines. As she struggled to pull out two strange containers from the inside of it, she huffed through her exertions:

"There are special events- where you can get food- without having to show your face at all~ Well- I found a place where you can- get food and keep your identities secret- but there's just one catch…"

Smiling widely in triumph as the two packages finally made their way out of her canvas bag, she began unwrapping them under the cautious crimson- and mocha-coloured eyes of the two people standing before her. When the items inside were extricated from the mess she'd made of the string and the wrapping paper, she held up two distinct costumes before she joyfully announced:

"We're going to a cosplay event, and you're going to have to dress up if you want to go~!"

* * *

If Celty wasn't so eager to recruit a certain Dollars leader's help, she would've already been on her way to visit her best friend and his unfortunate room-mate on the other side of Ikebukuro. It wasn't because of her uncomfortable kneeling position on the tatami mat stretched out in the dilapidated apartment block that she was in, or even because of the awkward silence hanging heavily in the air between everyone in the room. The reason why she was intent on getting out of the room… was because of the unsettling aura of the unknown male sitting opposite her.

From what she had heard earlier, he was the enigmatic 'Eonra' that happened to know everything about how to get Izaya and Shizuo out of their current troubles, but at the moment all she could think about was the shifty attitude that he seemed to have. Everything, from the lack of expression in his dark-violet eyes to the shapeless black hoodie pulled low over his face, screamed to her senses that he was false and untrustworthy, but every piece of information that had poured out from his mouth directly contradicted her thoughts. If she had to describe him in a single word then she'd call him a 'paradox', because he was simply someone that confused her to the core.

She had not planned on meeting him to begin with; her business had been with Mikado and Mikado only, and thus she had come to his home, fully expecting that he would be alone and be able to read her words without any sort of interruption. That had been the case when she had arrived at his door, PDA in hand and worried eddies of smoke pooling around her neck stump, but she had not started her attempts at persuasive pleading for long before they had been interrupted by the odd boy. As soon as he had softly revealed his knowledge of Mikado's online identity, she had been overcome with the urge to flee and leave her task to another day, but before she could go the strange male had arrested her with his exclamation:

"What a surprise to see you here, Celty Sturluson. It must be fate for me to see the famed Headless Rider of Ikebukuro in person, and up close at that…"

….Which led her to her current- and highly uncomfortable- situation with 'Eonra' and Mikado.

No matter how hard she wished to be someplace else, she had no choice but to stay seated, since her initial chances at escaping had come and gone as soon as the enigmatic individual had identified her for what she was. The fact that she didn't want to be there probably contributed rather greatly to her lack of attention to what was going on, so it took a while for her to realize that she was being addressed by Mikado. Bowing her helmet several times in flustered apology as she attempted to drag her mind back from wherever it had been wandering off to, she listened as attentively as she could as the small ravenette beside her stuttered:

"D-Do you know who 'Eonra' i-is?"

It was only at this time that she noticed the puzzling brunette was nowhere nearby, but before she could tap out an answer to his hesitant enquiry, a soft yet steely phrase drifted from the general location of the bathroom. Shivering at the subtle inflections of annoyance in the unknown person's tones, she hurriedly deleted her half-written message as the brunette entered and muttered:

"Mikado, don't you know it's rude to talk behind people's backs? I thought that, as a Class Rep. and a person hailing from the friendlier country regions, you would be better behaved… but I must've been wrong to assume that"

Before he could sit down, and before her resolve could leave her, the shadow-clad fairy angrily entered a message and thrust the screen into the other's face:

{I find it highly rude that you would spy on people and not have the decency to refrain yourself from spreading such information! Seriously, how could you simply publish Shizuo's condition on the forum board for anyone to see?!}

"…It intrigues me to see that you've finally summoned the nerve- or the presence of mind- to 'talk' directly to me. In terms of your outburst, though, I would wish for you to hear what I have to say first before you jump to any hasty conclusions…"

"U-Um, Eonra, what exactly do you mean by 'what you have to say'?"

{That is what I'd like to know too… so stop dodging the question and answer me!}

"The more you interrupt, the more I cannot say what I have to say, right? Please, Celty, calm down and let me take a seat, and then we can take on our aggressive-defensive positions once I'm done doing what I came here to do…"

Disgruntled by the male's lack of co-operation and annoyed by his seemingly unruffled nature, Celty grudgingly sank back into her kneeling position on the mat as her shadows flared uneasily around her being. Keeping all her senses on the male as he made his way to his previous seat and gracefully resumed his position, both she and the younger boy beside her impatiently waited for him to start, but when he opened his mouth, the words that came out were nothing that she had been expecting.

Instead of explaining his reasons for being in Mikado's apartment in the first place or defending the accusations that she had shoved into his face, he had asked them to _dinner_, of all things to do. While the tidal waves of anger roiled up inside of her and her 'vision' clouded with reciprocating waves of shadow, the calm figure opposite her mumbled something about his mother wanting them to dine together, but she could've probably cared less about something as stupid as that. It could've been because of all the pent-up emotion building from the beginning of Izaya's and Shizuo's incident, or just the unleashing of her semi-justified anger, but before she could get herself under control again, the shadows undulating around her form whipped forward and snatched the human in its grasps.

A normal human being would've been screaming in fear at being held in such a position, but instead of doing anything that was even remotely related to showing weakness of any sort, the brunette in her shadowy clutches merely smiled in the general direction of her helmet. As she ignored the frantic shouts of the unrestrained male beside her and his futile attempts at recreating some sort of peace, she strode towards the trapped person and squeezed his neck into her vice-like grip, before she displayed the message printed clearly on her phone:

{Do you really expect me to sit around and have dinner while my friends are stuck in their bodies? Are you too insensitive to think about anything except some sort of twisted _courtesy_ you seem to harbour?! If it pleases you to have us go eat with you then I will do so, but only if you manage to help Shizuo and Izaya like you've pretended to promise for the past few minutes!}

Dissipating her shadows so that the boy's entire weight was resting on her outstretched arm, she waited as he fought to catch his breath in the increasingly-tight hold she had on his windpipe. When she was finally satisfied with the punishment he deserved for his infuriating calmness, she dropped him to the floor and stalked past his inert form, before she stopped a few steps from the door and turned back reluctantly. As she impassively watched Mikado help the boy up from his crumpled position on the floor, she made to go outside and leave the two to whatever foolish ideas the brunette had, but before she could make her way outside the soft voice arrested her once more…

"If that is what your conditions are, then I will gladly accept them. Please let me catch my breath… and afterwards, we shall go directly to eat, and deliver your answers straight afterwards"

….And she found herself automatically complying to his words and his will.

Even though it was dangerous for her to be with someone like this…  
Even though all her senses were screaming for her to go…  
She had to wrest the answer from Eonra…

…And she would go to any length to get them…

* * *

_**A/N: **Several rewrites and a burst of misguided inspiration later, this chapter decided to come about, and as much as I wished to cut down on the length I simply could not do it... Instead of giving action all I've given are the random cliffhangers I always seem to give these days, and for that I'm truly sorry. Hopefully, this chapter actually makes sense and it doesn't just come together as a boring old pile of boringness, but in any case... I shall stop rambling before I truly bore everyone to death. Um, well, thank you for reading this chapter, and I hope to be able to write the other one up soon... [By the way, if anyone gets the Lelouch reference then you are a legend~]  
Just as a random sidenote, if anyone can find a more appropriate title then please do tell me about it- I struggled to come up with anything and changed my mind three times, and yet the title _still _doesn't seem to work. Any thoughts would be appreciated, and I will most definitely acknowledge whoever gives me a better idea for the title... so yes, please do help this struggling author with their predicament~_


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